Yep, today I really wanted to call him & tell him about the puppy I'm taking care of. But I haven't & I won't. I'm a little down today, but I'm gonna be strong and take puppy for lots of walks. He's such a spaz! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Don't call. Don't call. Don't call. And, in case I haven't mentioned it, Don't call.

I'm not. I wrote a sticky note & put it by the phone. "DO NOT CALL!"

Today is OK. The puppy went home & my cats are mad at me. But they will get over it. I got a lead on a job in the mortgage biz & I applied online last night. Hopefully I'll get an interview. Still no contact from WS. I have no idea what he's thinking or feeling. The puppy tried to eat my D papers last night. I think I shoulda let him chew on them a bit. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

LA,

good to hear that you're doing somewhat ok <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Did you get the D papers sent to you again?? (did I miss something?)

I also hope fo you that you get an interview for that job!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

I'm more than sure that it is a good thing to not contact your WS and to let things calm down.........he will for sure be wondering what is going on and why he's not hearing from you, but let that be, even if it isn't easy.

Do you have any contact with shared friends??

Just to get your situation clear for me........you are still living in Calif. and your WS lives in a different state?? right?
Did you live together with him, where he's living now???
Do you have private things at the place where he lives???

Does he live in rent or in a house that belongs to both of you??? Sorry if this sounds nosy, isn't meant to be.

Are there things that have to be dealt with??? Finances and stuff like that???

You wrote that you got D papers.........is this something that is final? I'm not aware of the laws in the US.....
what exactly does that mean when you get D papers???

hugs
bb

LOL Let me guess... so you could truthfully say, "The dog ate my (divorce) homework!"

I'm glad to hear you are staying strong.

The first time the papers were delivered wrong, so he had no idea I had received them. The 2nd time he served them correctly. So now he knows I have them.

We do not have any shared friends. He's still in AZ & I'm still here in CA. I never lived with him in his apt in AZ. I do have personal items at his apt and we have a storage unit that has alot of my personal items in it in AZ. He rents that apt and I rent mine here in CA. I take care of all the finances. I pay all the bills from a joint acct. Me getting the D papers just gets the ball rolling. I told my attorney to drag this out as long as possible so that I could work on me and us. WS doesn't have an attorney and is trying to do all of this himself. I don't know what he is thinking. He is really in a fog.

But I'm still not gonna call.

I am trying to stay strong. Trying to think positive and do positive things that make me feel good. I think I'm finally growing up a little bit. I always said I never wanted to grow up & I never wanted to lose touch with that feeling of being young and carefree that I had when I was a youngster. It's still there, but not as much.

So he hasn't called. I haven't called him. I do see that he has been eating out alot. I checked the checking acct online. I hope he isn't taking her out for lunch or dinner. That makes my heart hurt.

I woke up this morning in a panic attack. Stupid bad dreams. I had this dream that we were having dinner with a bunch of his friends and they were all talking about how great OW was how much they liked her. While I was sitting there. I woke up feeling so bad. I wanted to call him and tell him that I was better than OW. Couldn't he see that? But I didn't. I got up & cleaned house. This sucks.

LA,

could you please call Steve Harley and ask for his advise in your situation??? I think he could really help you make out a plan...............
I'm really feeling with you and I truely feel the pain you are going through.

I just think that it could really help to hear what SH has to say about the fact that you are living so far from one another............please try to phone him up and talk to him, I'm sure that this money would be a great investment.

hugs
bb

BB

Already had a session with Dr. Harley. He gave me a couple of questions to ask WS. But right now WS won't even take my calls or return my calls. So that's why I'm not callling. Let him call me. And when he calls I implement what Dr. Harley said to do. Which just makes WS reiterate over and over that our M is over. So I figured not talking to him for awhile would be best.

Still haven't called WS. I won't. But I'd sure like to know what he's up to. I miss him. Today is not going to be a good day.

Hey LA..

((((((((LA))))))))

Every day you're alive is a great day!

Look around you!

Look in the mirror!

He cannot take that away!!!

Have you read Ark's "be still"??

I can imagine this must be tough...

Hang in there, LA <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />

Yes, I read the "Be Still" essay. I wish I had read it back in October. Because maybe I wouldn't have lost it like I did.

Today just seemed to be bad. I tried really hard to be "up" and happy, but I just wanted to be in bed all day. But I can't sleep and the only way to get to sleep is to take really heavy duty meds & I don't like to do that during the day.

I just want him to call. I want him to want to call & talk to me.

I am trying so hard to stay positive. I keep praying he will call me. A friend of mine called from Texas and he said that if not calling him kept me from any anxiety attacks then it's best not to call him.

LA,

please stay strong...........for your sake. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> My thoughts are with you. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
hugs
bb

I am staying strong. I went with SIHW to Yorba Linda today & looked at a dog she may adopt. It was a good long drive & kept my mind off of things. Made today easier.

Keep it up, you can do this.

Still have heard nothing from WS. I'm making lists for myself each day to keep me occupied and so I don't call. I do wonder alot what he's up to. But I try not to think too much.