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I've been stalling. And I don't think he really has a clue what I could do to him financially. I think he's so far into his little happy fog he is clueless. As my friend Maria said today, "Doesn't he know by now not to make you mad?!"
So we'll see what happens this week. I'm just gonna take it easy. Since there's already a divorce filed... I'd ask for everything you could get your hands on... then stall SCARE THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF HIM... Make him think twice about wanting a divorce... JMHO... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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I'm stalling. And once I put out there exactly what I want, he's gonna freak.
I really think there should be court ordered pet support in this country.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I'm stalling. And once I put out there exactly what I want, he's gonna freak.
I really think there should be court ordered pet support in this country. Well... He needs to "FREAK"... He needs a wake-up call and asking for the moon and the stars will ring his bell a little.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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That's funny. I know from the sound of his voice that he was shocked that I had the fore thought to hire an atty. The next few days should be interesting.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I think he knows exactly what he's doing... I’ll bet he thinks you’re just a dumb wife who don’t know sh*t. (why is it the WS thinks they're so much smarter when its obvious they're not?) He was probably hoping that you would roll over and die without a fight. That’s why he’s pissed you went to an attorney.
How long has he been in the military? What's his rank again? If he’s been in 17 years I guarantee you HE KNOWS that you can get half his retirement. And…half of any other marital assets…If you pushed it he would also have to pay alimony…(If he makes more than you)
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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You sound GREAT, Sunshine!!! So much stronger!!! You go, Girl!!
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I think he knows exactly what he's doing... I’ll bet he thinks you’re just a dumb wife who don’t know sh*t. (why is it the WS thinks they're so much smarter when its obvious they're not?) He was probably hoping that you would roll over and die without a fight. That’s why he’s pissed you went to an attorney.
How long has he been in the military? What's his rank again? If he’s been in 17 years I guarantee you HE KNOWS that you can get half his retirement. And…half of any other marital assets…If you pushed it he would also have to pay alimony…(If he makes more than you) He's been in 20 yrs. That's why he's retiring. He is a Tech Sgt in the USAF. I will get half of his retirement and I am also asking for spousal maintenance. He does make more money than I do. I deserve that spousal maintenance. I feel I shouldn't have to live at a lesser lifestyle than I am currently accustomed to. I didn't and don't want it to get ugly, but I'm not sure because he's so far in the fog and unpredictable.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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You sound GREAT, Sunshine!!! So much stronger!!! You go, Girl!! Thank you Charlotte. I am trying. But even after I talked to my atty this morning I had a mini meltdown. But tomorrow is therapy lady day & I'm gonna talk to her about all this.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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He's been in 20 yrs. That's why he's retiring. He is a Tech Sgt in the USAF. I will get half of his retirement and I am also asking for spousal maintenance. He does make more money than I do. I deserve that spousal maintenance. I feel I shouldn't have to live at a lesser lifestyle than I am currently accustomed to. Is he an E-6? Is there a high year tenure? I.E.Does he have to retire at 20 or can he keep going? Once he retires he may not be making more money than you... or he could be making a whole lot more money than you depending on his occupation... And if she's a suger mama... he'll probably do nothing after he retires and have her support him so he can say he's dirt poor... and that you should be paying him alamony... OW might go along with that for a while... but not forever... If it comes to that it'll be a long distance run to see who gives up first... you or OW... I'd bet that when he's not working anymore she'll get sick of him real quick... the fantasy will die...Not to mention she's probably in love with the uniform and not him... When he stops wearing it she'll loose interest...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Yeah, E6. He could stay in if he wanted to. He will be attending police academy after he retires. He'll be making more money than me.
I hate her. I really do.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Just keep thinking... I'm gonna ring his bell and give him a wake-up call... LOL.... If he's completly in a fantasy fog you may need the liberty bell....LOL... BBBBBOOOOONNNNGGG... It's gonna be alright LA... have a laugh once in a while it'll make you feel better... If you want to have a good chuckle tonight go look at Serinitysoon's thread from tonight...Ya gotta read from page 26 on... http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...art=26&vc=1 <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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OK, I'll check it out.
I just realized I haven't eaten anything all day. I think I'll eat a granola bar. Those stay down.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Today I decided to email WS. But!! I only emailed him status on each one of our furry children. I told him a paragraph about each cat. What they've been doing, their health, any cute or funny things they have done lately. No mention about me, him, the D or anything else. I'm hoping he will respond, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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LA, Just wanted to make sure you knew any percentage of disabliity he receives can not be included in the 50 percent you will receive.
An example: E6 retired at 20 will receive approx 1500 monthly. If he ends up 30% disabled (It doesn't take much to qualify for that amount). will mean approx $1050.00 from the AF, and $450.00 from the VA.
The amount coming from the VA is his, untouched. Unless something additional is negotiated in the D settlement.
So your 50% equates to $525.00 monthly.
The amounts I used are fairly accurate. The disability percentage can vary drastically. I used 30% off my own disablity. My disability was result of sports related knee injuries, and slight hearing loss.
-JKT
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LA, Just wanted to make sure you knew any percentage of disabliity he receives can not be included in the 50 percent you will receive.
An example: E6 retired at 20 will receive approx 1500 monthly. If he ends up 30% disabled (It doesn't take much to qualify for that amount). will mean approx $1050.00 from the AF, and $450.00 from the VA.
The amount coming from the VA is his, untouched. Unless something additional is negotiated in the D settlement.
So your 50% equates to $525.00 monthly.
The amounts I used are fairly accurate. The disability percentage can vary drastically. I used 30% off my own disablity. My disability was result of sports related knee injuries, and slight hearing loss.
-JKT Hopefully it doesn't come to that. It makes me light headed and weak just to think about this stuff.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Hopefully it won't... but you need to be educated...
Like I said...BBBBOOONNNGGG....LOL...
Has he got the response from your lawyer yet? Don't be surprized if he hits the roof... starts all sorts of fog babble...I'd expect it...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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My atty just filed the response on 1/15. So he won't receive it yet. But I'm sure he's gonna have something to say about it. My atty just said to not talk about that stuff with him but talking about regular stuff was ok. My atty said that for right now, we sit & wait. And he told me to be calm, take care of myself and remember to eat. He's a good atty with 30+ yrs of experience and he comes highly recommended.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Sorry LA, I didn't want to be negative.
As Amazin sayed, just wanted you to be informed.
Speak to your atty about this. Again not to be negative "but" negotiation of a specific amout would be safer than a percentage.
-JKT
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Well $525 will pay my car pmt and ins. But I feel I still deserve spousal support and feel he should pay my rent.
I would just prefer to have him call me and say he wants to work on our marriage.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I know LA, and I'm pulling for ya...
I was in a simular timeline. I was told by my FWW, she wanted a D 4 months prior to my retirement date.
Talk about life as you know it turned upside-down stress.
Most importantly... Stay healthy.
-JKT
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