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I hope so. I hope it gets better.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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It will LA... It will.
I know it doesn't seem that way sometimes but you will be OK... It helped me a lot when I realized I would be OK either way... I want my wife back and I want our family to be happy and healthy together... But if that doesn't happen I know I'll be OK and so will my kids...
You need to get yourself strong. (Get your mind, body, soul and heart strong) Then you will be able to deal with all the CR*P of the affair better...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Well I know he isn't with her right now. He's home in IL visiting his family. God only knows what they are saying about me to him. As far as I know he didn't take OW with him.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Posts: 665
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Today I feel like calling him up and tell him he's a stupid fool. But I won't. But I sure feel like it.
Today I guess I am mad and disappointed in him.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Today I feel like calling him up and tell him he's a stupid fool. But I won't. But I sure feel like it.
Today I guess I am mad and disappointed in him. I know... but what would that accomplish? That would just be a big Love Buster... Kind of the opposite of what you want to do isn't it? I would really like to breath some fire at my wife... But I'm not going to for the same reason... That's just moving in the opposite direction that we need to go... Keep your chin up LA... Let's focus on something else... Something that will keep our minds off this ugly affair... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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I won't call him. But I'm gonna have to call here in a few days. We have things to discuss about taxes and $$$.
But my heart feels like it's been ripped out every time I talk to him. He's very, very fogged.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Anything he says right now will be fog talk... watch his actions not what he says.
My WW got real pissed when she found out I filed seperately. According to her "that's it, She's done" and that I've screwed her over for the last time...and when I get the return I need to get an attorney and file for divorce. bla bla bla
It's just fog talk...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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I think when I told him that I sent the D papers to MY ATTY it scared him abit. It told him that I wasn't as weak as I had been back in Oct & Nov and that I just wasn't gonna roll over & play dead. And we talked today(me & therapist) about how he is rewritting our marriage history. How he turns everything into a negative.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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He's re-writing history to justify his affair... Just another way to make himself feel better about what he's doing. Fog Fog Fog... don't listen to it.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 1,541
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I think when I told him that I sent the D papers to MY ATTY it scared him abit. It told him that I wasn't as weak as I had been back in Oct & Nov and that I just wasn't gonna roll over & play dead. Good... When you're Atty sends him the response, I hope it askes for the stars and moon...Maybe that will give him a real good wake-up call. BBBBOOOOOONNNGGG...BBBBOOOOOONNNGGG...BBBBOOOOOONNNGGG... That might just make him think about how much this divorce is going to cost him...
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 665
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Well we don't really have stars and moon to ask for, but I did ask for spousal support and the whole 1/2 his retirement thing and stated that I did not feel that the marriage was irretrievable broken and asked for court ordered marriage counseling. Which I'm sure is gonna really make him mad. And I think he was under the impression that this D stuff was going to be done really fast. My atty advised me minimum of 6 mos. OH yeah...I forgot the part where he pays all of MY LEGAL FEES too! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/shocked.gif" alt="" />
Last edited by LAsunshinegirl; 02/26/08 11:38 PM.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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COBRA laws can possibly get you medical insurance for up to 3 years!
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On a positive note today. I have lost 4 more lbs. Which makes me feel good. Got a great voicemail message from a friend who is sending me some kind of present. She wouldn't say. Just that it's something to make me feel better.
Still no word from WS. He's still home in IL visiting his family. My ears burn, I can only imagine what they are saying about me.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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I lost some weight too... I took the Affair Diet and turned it into a positive... I started working out while I was on the diet. Lost about 18lbs so far. I think the exertion of energy forced my appitite to come back... I'm eating more but still loosing weight. (wow how many people would love to say that?) Just in a healthy way and not as fast.
BH, 46
STBXWW, 41, Serial Cheater
D-Day #1 5-26-2006 (Our Wedding Aniversary)
D-Day #2 12-26-2007
D-Day #3 5-11-2008
Separated 1-5-2008
STBX filed for divorce March 2009
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Posts: 395
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Hi LA,
((((LA))))
What have you done for yourself today??
Just a word of caution when talking about military pensions...when you talk about the 1/2 of the retirement thing, you need to be sure you understand that you're only entitled to a portion of that half, based on how long you've been married relative to his military service.
Try googling "military retirement divorce" and see what you get.
If you divorce this year and he retires at 20, you will be eligible for approx 42%. Now, if he continues to advance and stays in until 30 years, you'd get roughly 28% (or half of 17/30),
A lawyer can help you out with this...just be forewarned.
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Yeah, my attorney was looking into the whole pension thing. He retires at 20 & we've been married 17 yrs. I'm praying that he wakes up soon. I don't want this whole mess.
I got up this morning & went & had a massage. And charged it on his credit card.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 665
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I called my voice coach. I booked 3 classes. I miss singing. For a while there I had no voice. But I've been praticing. I think my vocal chords have healed. I think they were damaged because of me throwing up so much.
Today was positive. I got my Jeep Libby washed & cleaned. I looked at shoes but didn't buy any. I ate breakfast & lunch. I called WS too and just let him know what our bank balance was and told him I hoped he was having a fun time with his family. I hope that wasn't the wrong thing to do.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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Posts: 395
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...nd charged it on his credit card. Why did you do that?
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...nd charged it on his credit card. Why did you do that? Well it's my cc too, but his name is first on it. And I felt a little mean because my body hurt so bad. I pay the bill for it each month. So I guess it's mine too.
BS(me) 40
WH 40
D-day 10/03/2007
***Recovering and growing wiser and stronger.***
I was divorced 10/08/2008.
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