take it from me and all of the drama i dealt with dear, MOVE ON! i am not getting good vibes about this "you don't have time for me nonsense" when i read it i was like "what the h*ll, you have only had one date" sounds a little controlling and manipulative to me. sounds like he is playing games as well. then he tells you he didn't call, basically, why bother setting up a date because you don't have time, then he a few days later he calls for a date? i recognize that pattern, break it now.

this guy will be too much drama.

as far as triggers, that is a tough one. i give every one a clean slate until they prove me otherwise. exbf would get a lot of calls on his cell it seemed to me. it would bother me when he would take the calls into the other room. big trigger. i would never ask who it was, but he would usually tell me "oh, that was so and so they said hi" (now that is assuming he was telling me the truth). it was also a trigger for me when his phone was only on vibrate. that made me think he did not want me to know when incoming calls were coming in. or on silent. i knew it was on both of those because he would check his phone frequently to see if he had any calls or texts.

i think your radar will usually be right. mine always was in this last relationship. every time i thought something was up with exbf, i was right on the money. and don't lie to me because i can smell it a mile away. you would think men who know you were cheated on for 4 years would know you had pretty sharp radar and not even try to pull one over on you, but they still try.

you'll get better at this i am sure maw. exbf was my first serious relationship as well (and i waited quite some time before i allowed a serious one in) and it didn't work out. i honestly think it will take a few errors to find the right fit.

good luck
mlhb

Well said, mlhb! Funny how we can decide to ignore red flags at times, isn't it? I know I did. I did in my M and in the R I had following my M.

No more. In my current R I have had no red flags yet... but if I do, I will heed my instinct. I've told B that. I've also asked that if he senses any red flags from me - to let me know, as I'll let him know. No sense in turfing him if I sense something without checking it out first... but he and I have both been hurt before, we've both ignored red flags before and we've both agreed not to ignore any this time.

As I said - I've seen no red flags this time around and I'm happy as a clam and taking things one day at a time.

Maw has pointed out some major red flags already - before things even got started. That would be enough for me to put on the brakes. We all have enough drama in our lives, don't need to add any more.

JinGA