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But the thing is, if I go with him we'll be in the same vehicle and OW will not show up because I know she'll be warned ahead of time...probably already has been.
I don't let people decide what I want to talk about-he didn't want to discuss his adultery in the car on the way there...oh how he hates it when I put it in the category in which it belongs: infidelity-adultery-affair...all of those things he used to be so vehemently opposed to.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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But the thing is, if I go with him we'll be in the same vehicle and OW will not show up because I know she'll be warned ahead of time...probably already has been. Can you think of another way to catch them in the act?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Charlotte...
Call the OWH, tell him and then see if he will come and pick you up and the two of you go bust them together...The two of you can be very strong allies...JOIN FORCES and FIGHT THIS!!! PLEASE...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I can't find my last post so here it goes again:
He finally left to go to "work." I called OWH and pretended to be someone else and of course she's not home! He offered to take my number for a return call but I thanked him and said I'd call back. I think he knew it was probably me. Poor guy sounded so sad. I wanted to talk to him about everything right then but I must wait until Monday.
Is there any way out of this ******?
There would be no point in me driving over there...I'm sure they probably won't stay in the area since I've already told him I know they have their trysts at the office much of the time.
Enterprise...please beam me up!
Anyone have any suggestions? Thanks to all of you who have given such good advice. I cried a lot this morning. I'm trying not to get into that mode so I can be strong when he gets back.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Charlotte...
While the all in one fell swoop idea is a good one, it does NOT mean that it all HAS to be done on the same day...You can and should call OWH back TODAY and tell him who you are and EXPOSE...JOIN FORCES...Your exposure on Monday will still have the same effect...Trust me, the affair can't recover from the damage between Saturday and Monday-That would still be considered "one fell swoop" in my book...Get the affair on the ropes NOW and then go in for the complete kill...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Mrs. W is correct. Call the OW's husband, and talk to him about the affair. You can expose to work Monday. But start EXPOSING it so it will die. You are just letting it get entrenched.
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He finally left to go to "work." I called OWH and pretended to be someone else and of course she's not home! He offered to take my number for a return call but I thanked him and said I'd call back. I think he knew it was probably me. Poor guy sounded so sad. I wanted to talk to him about everything right then but I must wait until Monday. No, you don't have to wait until Monday. Call the man back, tell him about the affair and offer to meet him over there to have a talk with the infidels. C'mon, Charlotte, lets get moving here! Stop with the conflict avoiding!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Well, I called H and told him I'd be there in an hour so I'm betting that OW has already left the premisis. I could try to call OWH back but if she's on the way back to their home then I may not have time to talk to him. I wanted to try and direct him to MB so he can study this site and read about some of the other "situations." I'm just hoping he doesn't fly off the handle because the first time I talked to him there was a veiled threat about violence. I don't know if he'd actually do it but I know they both carry weapons.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 6,316
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Charlotte...CALL OWH NOW!!! Stop impeding yourself and get this done!!!
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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I would but it's too late to call him now.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 6,316
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Charlotte...
You can talk to him with OW there...Just ask to speak to him if she answers...Dial *67 before you call to disguise your number...There is no rule that says she can't be there when you speak to him...Stop doing this mindless conflict avoidance dance and call him!!!
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Thanks Mrs. Wondering. I would but I just can't do anymore today. I need to recharge before I take on this task.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Joined: Jul 2005
Posts: 6,316
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Charlotte...I understand that this is a devastating situation to be in, but the longer you sit and wallow in inaction the more entrenched the affair will become...I want very much for you to take the control of your life back...Do this for yourself...I so want you to fight this Charlotte...Heck, I actually want to fight it for you, but alas I cannot and I am BEGGING you to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and kill this affair...
Courage is in the doing Charlotte...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Well, I called H and told him I'd be there in an hour so I'm betting that OW has already left the premisis. Why did you warn him? Why did you just blow this deal, Charlotte? You had a chance to bust him and just threw it away. You're not serious at all about busting up this affair, are you?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
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Courage is in the doing Charlotte...
Mrs. W She's not serious, MrsW. She is purposely sabatoging every opportunity so she won't have to deal with it.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Yes Mel, I fear that you are correct...
Charlotte...Did you even go to your husband's office or did you just call and say that in an effort to manipulate the affair? Because that will not work...The affair beast will continue to get stronger and stronger that way-you are simply playing the same game that the infidels are playing and feeding the drama of the affair...All while making yourself appear needy and desperate...Your ONLY hope in doing damage to the affair is EXPOSURE...What I'm not sure that you understand is that right now, you have LOST your husband...He is GONE...You have nothing to LOSE by exposing...Do you understand that?
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Posts: 3,278 |
Thanks. I'm aware of all of the above and I understand that I cannot depend on the way we used to be when he was my loving spouse. I will be exposing but just as it is with a lot of things...sometimes you have to psych yourself up for it and prepare mentally, knowing that the onslaught of anger & blame will fall squarely on your head from a spouse's POV...not because it is all your fault.
As I type he is in his radio room talking to her. I'm sure that there's plenty of crap being hurled in my direction and I'm trying hard not to care even though it hurts so badly.
C.
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
Charlotte - I forgot - do you have children? Does the OW have children? How long have you been married?
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Hi believer,
We have 3 but they are my stepchildren. We had been working on one of our own not long before the s*** hit the fan.
On November 22 it will be our 14 1/2 year anniversary. We were together a year or more before that, though.
Everything just seems so hopeless right now. I'm hoping for the best and expecting the worst. And yet, I'm the scapegoat for two people trying to make themselves feel better about being adulterers.
What a world, what a world...
Charlotte22
BS-42
WH-Mr. Gray-52
M-15.5y
DS*DIL-26, DGS-1
DS*DIL-22
DD-21
Dday: 6/27/07 (Plan A-sort of)
10/30-BRAVE NEW WORLD! Exposure!
11/1-Filed D
11/21-Temp hearing, Shiny takes all
12/15-Plan B
5/13/08-Spousal support extended, my Shiny
Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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Posts: 27,069
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Posts: 27,069 |
What happened between his ex and he?
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