Charlotte as far as having to file the BIG D, you're actually in a better position because you're the petitioner.

You haven't really said too much about it but if you're wanting to save your marriage (are you?) then later on when it gets close to time to finalize (if your husband doesn't countersue) then you can nonsuit it and it goes away.

I dropped my divorce suit 3 days before it was final b/c I thought WH was coming home and we were going to recover. Boy was he mad when he found out that if he still wanted it, HE would have to file it AND pay new filing fees, but Thank God, he never did refile.

Thanks, believer, Bellevue & suamico!

Yes, Pepper will certainly let me know about her breakfast! She knocked her temporary shoe off the other day banging on the door! The other one is gone, too...I still haven't found it!

Okay...the mystery is solved.

I know have all that remained in the account since his last onslaught except for $134.00 When I got there I checked to make sure he hadn't pulled more out. He's burning a lot of gas going back and forth to the bank!

He is going to be super-p.o.'ed! Should I let him know? I hope he doesn't storm over here again.

What happened was this: When I was there the 1st time they at first said it would be just a few more minutes because they had already seen that the money was there and I told them I needed to get to it before he did so please hurry if they could.

They also said they were waiting for the vault to be opened. Then they came back and said there was a notation, but only AFTER saying I couldn't take the money out. I said, it's OUR money, not his. I'm on the account. What's the problem? No good answer.

Well, it turns out the notation was because of the vault problem. I don't know why they didn't make that connection and were telling me I couldn't cash the check because it was his DD that went through. OOOOOOKKKKKK, then.

Awwww, poor H got blamed for a bank error. Well, blaming him for that is to be expected right now, especially since they were so adamant at the window about who's money it was.

Thanks, OWL.

Yeah, that made it a lot easier for the AP to have this A. She had a separate account from her H.

Thanks, princess meggy. Yes, I do want to save it. And save him. And save our family.

What happens if he countersues? Can this take place right away?

Thanks!

I would have said take it all out and leave $1 in it.....that would be funny.

he's pulled ot enough to live on.

Here's a suggestion that may help save you the time and effort in regards to the bank runs:

Open an account in only your name at the same bank.

If you don't already hav it, apply for online access for BOTH the joint and your individual account.

Sit at your computer at home at midnight or whenever the deposit is made into the joint account and immediately make an online transfer to your individual account.

All my loans, bank credit cards, checking and savings accounts are online accessible and I can transfer money between them all anytime, day or night. No waiting for the doors to open and no having to explain my "story" to different tellers every time.

He'll probably wise up pretty quick and stop the direct deposit, but it can't hurt to set it up just in case.

It will also work well for any money he is willing to give you in the future for support once things settle down. He can deposit it in the JOINT and you can transfer it into INDIVIDUAL so he can't get mad and take it back or use it himself.

You're doing great, Charlotte, you've got some good people posting to you.

Fox

Hi surviving,

Yeah, he's got enough and THEN some.

Shame on me for feeling the small instant of guilt for taking our money out to protect it!

Thanks, Fox!

Any stopping he does now will have to be for the next DP, which will be in two weeks and by then he will have been served.

what the Goblin King will do next?

He hasn't yet figured out, he has no power over me!

Get it set up now, so you don't have this stress in two weeks. Worse case, he will stop the direct deposit.

I can't remember if you posted this but do you work? If so, where does your paycheck go? Do NOT put it in the joint account for him to take.

If you do not work, he may still put money in that account to take care of bills. His lawyer (when he gets one after being served) may advise him to not leave you totally destitute as a judge may frown on that. If he gives you money of any kind, make sure he does not have access to take it back based on his emotion of the moment.

Here's a question for those in Texas who might know. When Charlotte's WH gets served, will their be a restraining order with it that prohibits him from changing any accounts, direct deposits, beneficiaries, etc?

If there is Charlotte, get him served ASAP so that he cannot stop that direct deposit or make changes to your joint account.

He can still do it, but there will be legal ramifications.

Keep your chin up, so much can change from one day to the next.

Fox

I can name that movie....Labrynth...

Through dangers untold and hardships un numbered I have fought my way here to the castle!

someone's been watching alot of movies....I am on a xanadu fix.....my sister gave me the album...I need to go get the DVD. I don't have a VCR anymore.

Yes he can countersue immediately when he "answers" BUT keep in mind that this doesn't happen very often. Most of the time the case will just move along with you as Petitioner and him as Respondent. If he DOESN'T answer then you win by default and whatever you asked for in your petition, you get whatever's spelled out in the final decree. But that's not the goal in this case.

Thanks princess meggy. I'll be paranoid about that now. I'll try to put it out of my head.

It all depends on if the attorney put the language in the divorce petition. Given the history and concerns that Charlotte probably gave him, he probably did. However, there's usually a temporary hearing to grant temporary orders concerning matters like this.

Right now I am PT taking care of my grandmother, Fox.

Thanks for the advice. I hope he will have cooled down a bit by then.

If her attorney requested a TRO to be included, he would have had to had an exparte hearing in front of the Judge to be able to include it in the service-- making it effective immediately. If not, then there will have to be a hearing.

Hey surviving. I haven't seen the Labryinth in quite a while. The last one H & I watched was 1408. I figured he'd already seen it with "her" but they weren't "watching" movies when they went to them.

Thanks, PM. When I was served there was a temporary restraining order prohibiting me from those things and from selling anything unless it was for daily living expenses.

Which was laughable because WH had already removed himself from our joint account and stopped his direct deposit. Thereby dumping all the automatic bill payments on my shoulders since I was the only one left responsible for that account.

Charlotte, I am so impressed with your level-headedness. I was an absolute mess after d-day and it took me a while to focus and get my thoughts on protection for DDs and I and not so much on how to get WH back.

Protection must be first.

If he will not be served with that temp restraining order in place with the divorce petition, talk to your lawyer and see if it can still be added.

Fox

1408 wasn't as good as I thought it would be......i can't wait to see that new one the only title they have for it is 1-18-08 or something....new BIG monster movie....

Hi Fox,

Just checked. It's there.

I thought I had conveyed that to him but with all of the paperwork and thinking about not wanting to have to actually file I guess I didn't hear him or forgot.

So we're A-OK.

Is it a "Temporary Restraining Order" or "Temporary Orders"?