Had a little "missing H" moment when I had to go to the store earlier.

I hope he misses me.

Great. Now I guess I'll be thinking about him all night. Must mean he's thinking about me. I've been doing pretty good with that so far.

This is good and not so good if he does indeed show up tomorrow. I MUST BE SPOCK!!!!

I think I'm gonna have to watch some Star Trek. Get back into Spock mode...

AND keep myself away from that Romulan Ale.

Look at you - posting like an old pro............

Okay, I had the strangest dream.

I was at home with H and I woke up in a strange place. There were a lot of shady characters around. H had given me the date rape drug to knock me out so he could carry me out of the house.

We were somewhere in Mexico. They were planning a bank robbery. At one point the head thug said to me, "I guess you want to be cut in, too. I'm going to tell you what you need to do."

The OW was there, too, but she was in her own car and she wasn't H's OW, but the OW of an old boyfriend I was with 2 or 3 years before I met H.

At one point she was sitting on his lap and I walked over to him and said, "Do you mind? We ARE married, you know. Why did you bring me along, anyway?"

At another point in the dream, we were having a picnic and our family was sitting at a really long table. H was at a table with the thugs and the OW was there, I think she was sitting in his lap at this point in the dream, too. We were back in our town then. In the dream we warped from Mexico back to our town.

Then we were in a hotel in a bar with the head thug. He ordered giant Bloody Marys for us to drink. Then he got up to go somewhere and H walked off somewhere with OW. I think they went to one of the hotel rooms.

Then we warped to San Antonio. I was terrified and H was so far gone it was scary. I still didn't understand why he'd drugged me and brought me along.

I managed to get away from the thugs and H and I called my mom. I said, "Mommy, I'm scared! I don't know what to do! I'm in San Antonio & H is going to get in big trouble with the law! What do I do, Mommy?" And I was crying, too.

Wow, I don't remember the last time I called mom "Mommy."

Anyway, that's about where it ended. Thank goodness.

Today I'm going to call H's doctor and talk to him about H's addiction. Maybe at least then there will be one less place for him to get his drugs and his doctor can talk to him and try to help him somehow. His doctor called our home last week looking for H. H said he'd given him some Red Sox memorabilia. He sounds like such a nice man. I was going to switch doctors and see him before but I never did. Now I wish I had but I'm still going to call him and try to help H.

Hey Charlotte! Wow, you sound so confident!!! Good for you!

I'm a Cowboys fan now that my taxes are helping to pay for their new stadium! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

Hey RIF!! Thank you!

How are you today?

Yep, you have no choice but to be a Texans fan thanks to those large tax bills! They should send out coupons for the concession stands with those tax bills!!

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte!

Actually, I'm about 5 hours north of you... where the OTHER team in TX plays... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Oh, yes! Gotcha! That would be the team that was my dear uncle's favorite. He has passed from this world tragically at a young age.

Oh yeah, and Hank Hill loves that team as well, eh? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Exactly! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

I'll be on the night-shift tomorrow if you can't sleep...

You're doing great!

Semper Fi,

RIF

I want to be on the night shift but I need internet at night first. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, RIF!

I had some small bumps since exposure but everyone here as well as my family has been helping me hold up really well.

Thank you all, you great people!!

I am no dream analyzer but the thugs are the DRUGS (OW and drugs) OW is in his lap (IE in his life getting his attention) They have invaided your family and you don't feel you have control over getting them out. Mexico is a foreign country and you were put there without your consent.

Pardon my intrusion but I don't have a clue why anyone would have a dream where the dreamer thinks it’s “scary” to be in San Antonio. There are nearly 2 million of us who live in this area all the time...and we’re not scared one little bit. LOL

But I do have to admit that's a Texas-sized dream, Charlotte. Write it up, copyright it, and send it in to HBO to see if they’ll make a miniseries out of it. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Charlotte, you went into some detail about a dream you had that (a) you recalled very clearly when you woke and (b) really bothered you. The two, put together, raise some flags for me. Lady, would you mind a few thoughts about dream interpretation, as slippery a thing as that is? I don't think there's anything too deadly serious in your dream but there might be something right at the end. Okay?

If you're still reading this disorganized mess, here’s what I see in your dream, Charlotte. Please disregard anything/everything you think is nonsense. But you know that already, right? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

The “bank robbery” in your dream tells me your sub-conscious might still be concerned about the difficulties you had at the end of last month getting to the bank to get money before your WH could drain the account. Are there some lingering aspects relating to the bank account you might not have covered entirely, or anything you can think of in that area?

The picnic and family being present with the OW (other women) is your sub-conscious trying to fit all the characters in your life into a coherent group, no matter how dysfunctional a bunch they are.

The OW being present is interesting. Notice your dream had OW somewhat detached at one point (in her own car). The car signifies mobility? She’s going, but not gone? Or...they eventually all DO go away, but there’s one still hanging around, albeit just barely?

That there is an OW from a past relationship in your dream could be your subconscious making a protest against all those unscrupulous “other women” repeatedly showing up in your life, couldn’t it? When you protest the OW being on WH’s lap, your subconscious is rebelling against the influence any OW has on the man in your life?

The idea of “...why did you bring me along...” which your dream expressed in a number of instances, along with the “drug” sequence, seem tied together to me. Could they be an expression of your distress at not really being in control of your own destiny during this period? Your subconscious may interpret this as being powerless (as in drugged), right? "Mexico" seems to be an expression of being separated from the good, familiar, comfortable life you used to know and swept up in things you can't control.

You know, if you think about it in this context, you actually have been put into a situation where you are constantly reacting to events instead of being proactive as I interpret your personality prefers to be. You haven't had a vote in any of this...you've been dragged along whether you want to come or not. Seems to me you’re uncomfortable not being the captain of your own fate.

I think the drugs (and the thugs) may also be a reference to the your WH’s drug use and his arrest. The thugs could be either the people WH is “associating” with in jail or the mysterious suppliers at the other end of the online ordering chain. Either interpretation, or actually both (if you’re buying any of this), could be what your subconscious is dealing with. Do the thugs have the “flavor” in your dream of being big, mean, and violent…or distant and unreachable?

Do Bloody Maries (is that the correct plural version?) have any significance to you from events in your life? If you’ve had a bad experience associated with them of some kind? Perhaps it’s a re-emergence in the dream of the drugs being forced into your life (made to drink them?)...or not.

Finally, the thugs, OWs, and WH all walk away, leaving you to deal with the aftermath. In your sleeping mind, you’re lost and alone, and don’t know what to do next. Your subconscious sees WH as being “so far gone, it was scary.” Think about the ending of your dream: “Mommy, I’m alone...I’m scared...I don’t know what to do...what do I do, Mommy?” Not much interpretation needed there, is there? Your subconscious mind is concerned for your wellbeing. Not to worry. We’re here to be your support group. Tell your subconscious mind I said so and to leave you alone from now on, okay?

I still don’t understand the significance of being in San Antonio though. Did you have a bad experience here once or is there something in your past that associates San Antone with being lost...detached...vulnerable...anything like that?

My feelings are that a person’s subconscious isn’t an adult in any sense of the word. It never matures. It’s always a child overwhelmed by uncertainty. It’s a primitive, purely emotional, side of your mind that doesn’t reason in a linear fashion. I suspect the “lost and alone” portion of your dream is simply an expression that you can’t see where all this is going and it IS a little scary, isn’t it...even for a Texan.

If you’re buying any of this, Charlotte, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s just your mind playing games and mulling things over in a thoroughly irrational way. After all, it has to do something after it’s taken care of all the maintenance functions it does while you sleep, right?

If you have an IC (a thing I highly encourage for anyone in your situation), you might mention the dream to him/her, but, again, I think it’s just your “inner child” (dang…where did that old psychobabble phrase come from?) expressing uncertainty AND your subconscious may be using that uncertainty to prod you to...


I think it IS significant that you wrote that immediately after recounting the dream, Charlotte. It was the first thing on your mind. Perhaps the dream was your subconscious mind’s way of getting you to see you should do this without further delay? Something to think about anyway.

So...you can have fun with dreams, you know. Train your subconscious, Charlotte. It can be done. Run over some things in your mind just before you go to sleep and relive that dream the way you would want it to proceed.

How about...next time OW is sitting on WH’s lap, knock the snot out of her with a good right cross, and then give her a piece of your mind about her character and probable ancestry. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> When WH ambles off in San Antone, haul him back with a nice lariat throw. Draw your six-gun and polish off those thugs…and don’t worry about reloading any more than Roy Rogers did. LOL

Hang in there, lady. You’re doing great...but that’s normal for Texas gals. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

LH

(How ‘bout them Cowboys!)

Before i knew of XH A I had a dream where I was standing at the edge of a bed and he was in bed with a faceless woman and they were laughing at me....after some detective work thats how I learned of his A.......When my xh A was in full swing I had a dream from xh point of view....he was in Disneyland on main st watching the electric light parade....snow white was on a float singing someday my prince will come....and I had the feeling he wasn't alone.....thought it was strange....he had all but disappeared and I couldn't get ahold of him at work on his cell or anywhere....and we needed to discuss the holiday visitation schedule.....called MIL....he was in Disneyland with her.....funny thing is he proposed to her there too...exactly where he asked me to marry him.....guess some guys arn't too original.


maybe your dream is trying to tell you something....

Hi Longhorn,

I loved your interpretation. I have added my comments under yours so it would be easier for me to remember everything and easier for you to read. (I hope!)


LOL, explanation below!


You're right, they need some new material! (after all, no more Sopranos!! sniff...)


10-4


I took care of everything I could. I do have lingering worries about what he's done to the account since then. I haven't looked. Well, I looked once. He ordered meds again. I don't know if he put money in to cover it. So I've just stayed away from it & hope to recover it once things have settled down.


Good point.


I LIKE this. She's going away. This is what I hang my hat on. She will not want to hang around to pick up H's pieces. Her H is a very good provider & when it comes to money, she might as well use it for TP, she uses it a LOT. When we were in Dallas she was spending like there was no tomorrow. As far as the going but not gone yet, I haven't heard anything from OWH lately so I don't know what's up on their end. I did tell him about H's XW and the A in their marriage, though. I knew he'd pass it along to OW.


Good point.


I like this, too. I also think that when I asked him why he brought ME along in the dream it was tied into his cake eating during the A. And I guess part of me was hoping that he brought me along because he just can't let me go.


I used to be. And then I had a co-captain. Then the navigator sent him on the wrong course.


The thugs in the dream reminded me of the gang in Silverado that hijacked the wagon train. Remember scruffy guy? (can't remember his name) Head of the gang? "Stop that guy! Keep him from gettin' the horses!!!" re: Scott Glenn when he was in the valley spinning his ruse & the others were in the cliffs pretending to shoot at him.


H & I, when we used to drink once-in-a-while...before all of this we drank once a year, maybe twice. We both enjoyed Bloody Marys. I don't like beer much at all and other drinks are too sweet usually. So when I needed a drink now and then during the A I pulled out the vodka & made a bloody mary. During the last month before exposure I was drinking them daily. Usually in the evening before H came home. I've never bought so much hard liquor in my life. Or drank so much in my life. That was yet another nail in the coffin of the A which spurred me to take action.



Thanks, Longhorn! Sweet!



Well, to date, some of the worst experiences I've had in Texas have been in Dallas. Every time I go. San Antone, not really. The last time I was there was when H & I took the kids to Seaworld. We were going to go back that weekend to see the Monkees but we didn't make it. I don't know, maybe we were there in the dream because its closer to Mexico. I don't like driving in San Antone, Austin (yikes to the Austin drivers!) or especially Dallas...Houston is no better but the San Antone & Dallas are more unfamiliar. I think maybe that was all there was to the San Antonio thing in the dream.


AND HOW!!!


You're right.


I'll bring this up in our next session.


Thanks for commenting on this. In a way I guess I had some slight reservations about calling but I was going to do it anyway. That I have a "thumbs up" about it helps.


Great idea!! I don't know why I didn't do it anyway. I think (in the dream) I was trying to figure out why it was that OW from the past.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Thanks, Longhorn!!

That is one heck of a premonition, surviving!!


You know, I think I may have had a premonition also, but I can't remember it right now. But when you brought up your dream...something clicked in my head.

I called H's doctor. The number he called used when he called our home last week or so is his personal number. So I left a message in his VM.

I thought it was his personal # rather than the office and I'm glad it was.

I told him in the message that I was very concerned and scared about H's drug use and that I'd like to get his advice as to what I could possibly do to help. I told him H has been ordering medication online & that he'd been to more than one doctor to get meds.

I was nervous so my voice was a little shaky.

If he doesn't call me back I'll call him again but I'm sure he'll call me.

He's such a nice man. His VM greeting ended with him saying, "God Bless You."

your telling me I had more than those 2 the others were very hard on me one including my miscarriage....They left me with alot of anger. It took a long time to get over my feelings. I still go to the beach where my baby girl was laid to rest....it calms me when I need to think.

I'm SO nervous! H will be here at 7.

Help!!!! Get me out of here!!!!

Beam me up, Scotty!!!!

Spock, Spock...where are you????

Charlotte,

Did you say he's addicted to Soma?? My mother was addicted to that as well. It's an excellent muscle relaxer and very strong. She would take her 30 day supply in about a week and a half. Made her stumble and stutter etc. I eventually called her dr and told him she was addicted to it. He quit prescribing it and she just found another dr who would.

According to the family doctor it's very addictive and gets quite a premium on the street.