Hi coachswife,

Yes. Soma. He takes some other stuff too.

That's about how long H's supply lasts. He cut back for a while but in the weeks leading up to the exposure, before I even started making noises about the A again, his usage was a lot heavier.

I had a problem with it myself after I hurt my back...before the last back injury when I was trying to get H up off of the floor.

I finally quit that crap cold turkey and I don't want any part of it ever again. I thought H might follow my example but I guess he needed it to help assuage his guilt about the A and for the stress of living a lie.

Charlotte, I hope you are busy gussying up right now!! You will do GREAT!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Well, H showed up to pick up the disks he needed and he seemed to be dawdling around a lot so I talked to him.

He told me that he wished I hadn't filed for divorce because he'd found another way it could be done without filing. (he said he did some internet research) I told him that I was told that I had to file to be protected.

So apparently he HAS been thinking about things and not just drowning his sorrows with Soma.

I talked to him about his living quarters. He said he was still staying at the office. I told him he couldn't stay there forever. He told me his dad had offered to take him in if needed. I told him I'd talked to his dad last week and he said his dad had mentioned it.

He gathered some things he'd sold on eBay but hadn't sent yet because the auctions ended around Exposure to OWH Day so it's been heck since.

He was looking around the room saying..."I'm missing something but I can't remember what it is. I know I'm missing something."

I said, "Maybe your missing your wife." And he gave me such a look...I got him good with that one.

He was looking around in the spare room for other things to sell because I told him about DS & DIL's money problem that was going to get critical soon. I went in to help him and we were in a small space.

Well, I flirted with him and accidentally brushed up against him a few times. He accidentally did the same with me. And flirted back.

He said he didn't have time to eat when he first arrived, (I'd made a pot roast), but he stayed longer and longer. I'd already made a plate for him to take with him so he'll be having some of my cooking tonight. He hasn't had any since he left.

He said he wanted to come back over the weekend and have DS help him straighten the spare room a bit and help him move the boxes around.

I said, "That's all? That's kind of boring! Don't you want to go for a bike ride?"

He agreed to that if there was sufficient daylight but mentioned we'd have to get the bikes out of the storage shed. I said that shouldn't be a problem.

When he was getting ready to leave I gave him the note Melody helped me with this afternoon because I was so nervous after he called.

It was short and to the point.

I also gave him a story I wrote a few months ago that is of the "bodice ripper" variety. It's written in first person and no names are mentioned but you can clearly tell it's H & me.

We used to share our stories and poems with each other and though I've written a lot over the years, he hasn't written much.

Anyway, I think he'll like it. It's a fantasy about us reuniting in the physical way.

Oh, and the locks. He was offended when he saw that I'd fixed the locks and I told him I was tired of setting a booby trap every night and waking up hearing noises and waiting for the booby trap to go off.

He asked me why I needed to change the locks and I told him someone might break in. He asked why and I told him, well, I am here by myself. I am a female. There's always a possibility that things could happen.

By the time he left he had cooled down about the locks. He told me to make sure I locked up tight after he left.

What a goofball.

All in all, though, I believe things went pretty well. And the new me was bolder than I thought I would be. I guess I should give the new me a little more faith. I guess it will take a little while for ME to get used to the new me, much less H.

Attagirl, Charlotte! Ya done good! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thanks, Lady Clueless!!!

I can hardly believe I was able to do it!

Good job, Charlotte. Pot roast cooking, yum. Now hubby goes back to sleep at his work. I love it.

Hope you were looking good.

Hi believer,

You bet! I was wearing this really slinky cool dress that I haven't been able to wear for at least 10 years...well, make that 14. I wore it to bro's graduation and that was the same year as our wedding.

Thanks to the famous infidelity diet I can wear it again. It has straps about an inch wide and it's cut different than a usual dress. It looks almost like a wrap-around dress but it's only partially so.

The hem is really cute, it is split in the front due to the wrap around look and the hem curves on one leg and also on the other. The slit/split can be provacative if you wish it to be so.

The pattern is kind of a brown/tan snakeskin interspersed with turquoise. It's a really pretty dress. I know the pattern sounds strange but it looks good.

And I wore a cologne I used to wear when we were dating that he LOVES. They don't make it anymore but the bottles I have left are still good. I'm surprised. Usually cologne will start to smell funny after a few years if you don't use it. Not this one. Darn shame they stopped making it!

Oh yeah, he was still wearing his wedding ring. I forgot to check last time. This may or may not mean anything, though. I want to be cautious and not read too much into things.

But I still thought the comment about the D that he made and the fact that he'd been researching it is a good thing.

And so was the flirting. Woooooooooo!!!!!!

Great job Charlotte!!!!

Sounds like it will only be a matter of time before H REALLY starts missing you! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Semper Fi,

RIF

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I sure hope so, RIF!!

Now I need to gather up the strength to Plan A the heck out of him this weekend.

I think I can do it. I KNOW I can do it.

I wonder if I'll get a call tomorrow that the process server will be serving H.

I wonder how he'll feel when he is served. Well, he is apparently bothered that I filed. That much is clear.

At least I think so. I know I have to be careful about what Mr. Gray says.

But I'll tell you what...I saw an AWFUL LOT of Jonesy tonight!

I think he WILL miss me. I think he does already. I think he'll miss me even more after he reads the story... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte,

I'm SURE he already misses you... You are the REAL thing... the OW is just a fantasy... and he's begining to see that now... Thats the whole reason for exposure and then a good Plan-A...

Keep up the good work and Plan-A your tail off!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks, RIF!

You made me feel a WHOLE LOT better! I'm going to sleep and dream good dreams tonight!

Have a great night!

Charlotte

Charlotte,

Sometimes after good plan A evenings the Wayward spouse will completely pull away/pull back the next time you interact with him/them.

It's natural. He knows he's hurt you and may be determined this weekend NOT to lead you on and hurt you further.

It's a natural wayward reaction.

They don't call this a roller coaster for nothin'

In Plan A you must be prepared and able to withstand it with grace and dignity. You do Plan A (and then Plan B, if necessary) for you. He reaction shouldn't change your plan.

Act...don't react.

You did good today. Sleep well.

Mr. Wondering

Charlotte,

I must have missed the post where you said you told your WH that you filed for divorce. I thought you weren't going to tell him.

If you did NOT tell him, then he's been in contact with OW, unless he checked at the courthouse or something.

Good one! Excellent quick thinking. Your interactions with WH last night are a great example of Plan A. Good job.

Thanks, princess meggy!

It just kinda popped out of my mouth on instinct. I know I probably had a little gleam in my eye when he snapped his head around and looked at me and I looked back at him.

I couldn't help it. If the gleam was there, it was there. He smiled at me, and I smiled back. He didn't have a reply. The "look" was enough!

It was great and it was fun to be able to act natural around my H again.

I know I can't trust him and that saddens me. But I managed to keep those thoughts at bay for a little while so I could enjoy the moment and relish in our togetherness both while he was still there and after he left.

I'm glad I still love him. After the revelations of the last few days I was afraid that it might have flown the coop.

Hi Lady Clueless,

I told him about the D when he came over on Sunday. I don't think he quite believed that it was true. That's why I wanted to bring it up again and talk about it with him for a bit.

I didn't expect his response and I don't know what to make of it or if I should put much stock in it. I have thought about it throughout the night both before I went to bed and when I'd wake up to get a drink or rr break.

I can't think of any other reason he would have said it other than he doesn't really want a D.

What do all of you make of his comment?

Hi Mr. W,

Thank you for bringing that up. I'll keep that in mind so I won't get too sad if it happens.

What do you think about the D comment from H, Mr. W?

Also, H told me that he'd stopped the Direct Deposit for the next paycheck. I just told him that I knew that it would probably happen. He asked me to get a list of the bills so they can be taken care of + food, etc.

I think it is a good thing that he disclosed this to me.

A bad thing, though is that he still insists he has no money or very little money. I don't believe it. I will agree that it is a possibility, though, since I don't know how much money he spent getting ready for that trip they were going to take or if it included plane tickets, etc.

H hates to fly so I'm guessing that it was going to be a local trip. But that still means 4 days for hotel, etc. So, yes, it is a possibility.

He's big about being the one who is the provider so I think he would have done that so OW wouldn't see the "weakness" of H not having a lot of money to spend, because we don't!

She, on the other hand, has (had?) her own account which was essentially for mad money to spend as she liked because her H has a high income level.

my take...

The "other way" was likely the following scenario.

He'd just stay married to you and pay your bills (presuming you didn't upset him and walked his ever changing line). He'd keep you essentially penniless unable to hire an attorney on your own and eventually coerce you into signing some uncontested divorce paperwork for some pitence of settlement money. You'd accept it because otherwise all your utilities would be shut off...if they weren't already.
Of course...he'd expect you to understand that he's broke and there's nothing to get anyway...so why bother.

Filing was the right thing to do here. You'll get an order of temporary spousal support which he'll either pay or your attorney will garnish his wages.

If memory serves me...you just went to work yourself recently. Good. You may want to get a second job soon. Lawyer bills add up and WH may be losing his job. He can't pay ordered spousal support if he's unemployed and he'll likley stay unemployed to keep from being able to pay. You know...because HE's the victim here. Predictable wayward thinking.

Mr. Wondering

Thanks, Mr. W.

I understand completely.

What do you think I should do next? I called my attorney and they haven't heard from the court as of yet. The county here is small so I'm thinking that it will happen soon. If not today then probably Tuesday.

And there's still the investigation at work. They had foreign visitors this week and I'm guessing that they were keeping this low key until the visitors return to their own country.

I'm just curious as all get out to know what they are planning to do with him.

They can't just ignore this whole thing, it doesn't just involve company assets but drug addiction by an employee. (Maybe two, she might be addicted as well.)

I'm unsure if I should call again but if I do I'd wait until next week and call the gentleman I spoke with on the phone to see if he received the information and reviewed it.