Hi 411,

Thanks, I'll try my best so I don't think about H, he has got me p.o.'ed right now. I'm having an "H" moment.

Looks like I'll be taking those flying lessons after all. H used to tease me...I'm afraid to fly on commercial jets and in fact I never have. So you're going to get in a tiny plane and fly? he laughed. Of course. It's different because your life is in your hands, not someone else's that you don't know! I told him.

I'm going to rant now so please bear with me:

I am so disgusted with H and his crap. Right now I'm just really, really mad.

How dare he treat me this way? How dare he go out and have an A while I was sick! I didn't grab the UPS guy and shag him when H was sick. I didn't run away when we were having problems with DS25. I felt like leaving, too. But I didn't. I knew that we would get through it together, just like always.

So he can't allow the same respect for me on my end. Well, SCREW HIM!

He's going to end up like my FIL, ALONE and rattling around in a big house with no one but himself. If he's lucky. He might end up rattling around under a bridge.

And what's he going to do if he doesn't quit the drugs and his system gives out? I'm sure OW will find him very attractive when he's on dialysis. Because that's where he's headed.

For Pete's sake, he was 17 when she was born! That is just SO disgusting. At least he was 10 when I was born. No weirdness there. He hadn't even reached puberty.

Sometimes I just feel like packing what I can pack and getting the heck out of Dodge. I can go to Colorado, my best friend lives there. My bro lives in SF but I'd rather avoid the quakes. My sis lives in Lafayette. So at least there are two places that are good. Or what the "f," I'll just go to New York.

Stay a while, then I'll catch the QEII, she sails to Southampton. The reverse trip of the Titanic. Okay, I can do that. I just won't think about rogue waves and stuff. The voyage is like 8 days long. It would be fun! Then I can just roam around Europe. My bro went to school in the Netherlands and he has a lot of people he knows that would help me if I asked him.

It's just so tempting to want to get away from this crap. And then H is going to punish me with no contact because my lawyer is protecting me from H? The irony just kills me. It would be funny if it weren't so tragic.

It would be the next great sitcom. Right now it's like one of those dang friggin' soap operas that never end.

With no reruns on the soap network.

He should be ashamed of himself. If his mom was alive she'd be so disgusted with him! How could he do what he did with OWH looking so pale and sad!

My H has NO heart anymore. He is PURE EVIL. I just don't know if I can wait another week or two until that inventory is done. Maybe I should Plan B now and let someone else be here for the inventory.

If I saw him right now I'd let him have it so bad that the LB's could never be counter-acted with deposits in the Love Bank.

I would punch him in the gut and give him the good ol' Vulcan neck-pinch, right where he has a problem with his neck. I think I could beat the crap out of him with no problem. And I'm only 5'3". H is 5'11" and way heavier than me.

Well, thanks for letting me rant...otherwise I might find the hammer and redecorate the walls to look like Swiss cheese.

I guess I really let H have it in my last post. I'm not going to delete it. I never really let him have it. The only time I shouted at him was the Sunday night before Exposure.

He wouldn't talk to me...denied denied denied.

I finally got frustrated after one thing he said, I don't even remember what it was...

And I shouted at him, "Why don't you just say her name??!! I know all you want to do is f**k her!!!!"

That's about it. Then he went in to trash me in IM with that b*tch. He didn't tell her what I said, though.

Made up plenty of other crap, though.

I guess I'll just resign myself to the fact that I might never see Jonesy again. He might be lost forever, replaced by Mr. Gray. I don't want to believe this but I am not having any luck talking myself out of it.

So I'll go into Plan B in the right frame of mind. If Jonesy doesn't escape the alien I will have to accept it.

There's a big old world out there and plenty of things I want to do and see.

Now I can do anything I want, except become involved in another romantic relationship. That's okay with me. I can't trust any men right now.

Well, I guess I'll try to sleep a couple more hours. I've been up since 3am unable to fall asleep again.

Have a good morning, Everyone.

Thanks for putting up with me.

Hope you got a bit more sleep. Insomnia's a bugger.

...not even me??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Hey Charlotte!

I'm back!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Remember, your feelings are your feelings... focus on the facts!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Nice vent.

Personally, I don't find the nonsense jokes funny, so stop me if I've written this before:

Two guys in the dog park are chatting while their dogs play. Time flies and pretty soon it is lunch time. Their stomachs are growling.

Guy 1: Hey, I've got an idea. Let's head over to Chez Foux over there and have lunch.

Guy 2: We can't get inside that place. We have the dogs.

Guy 1: Of course we can. Watch me. (He takes out a pair of dark glasses and puts them on, then walks over to Chez Foux.)

Guy 1: [to Maitre de] I wish a table for lunch please.

Maitre de: I'm sorry sir, I cannot seat you here because dogs are not allowed.

Guy 1: My good man, I am blind and this is a seeing eye dog.

Maitre de: [Apologetic] I beg your pardon; please come along with me. I will seat you immediately.

Now, Guy 2 is watching all this, and he knows he can also have lunch at Chez Foux. He pulls out his dark glasses and heads over with his dog.

Guy 2: Please seat me for lunch.

Maitre de: Sir, I regret I cannot allow you to enter with your dog. Dogs are not allowed in the restaurant. It is a state law.

Guy 2: Pardon me, but I am blind and this is a seeing eye dog.

Maitre de: Sir, that is not a seeing eye dog. It is a Chihuaha.

Guy 2: THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHA?

Hi Dobie,

Thank you. Amazingly, I was actually able to fall asleep again for a little while.

Hi RIF!

Thank you! I am getting Spock back now, I think. Spock will have to carry me for a long time now. Facts. Not feelings. No problemo.



Okay, you got me there, RIF! There are one or two exceptions. You're one.

I hope you are doing well, I guess it'll be time for shuteye pretty soon so get some good rest!

Charlotte

Thanks, Bellevue!

The rant did make me feel a little better.

LOL! with the Chihuahua!

That was a good one! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Because I know H is going to come over here and act like a jerk when it's time for the inventory. He is going to try and push my buttons and pull my strings and it's not going to work. That's all.

I have plenty of time to prepare mentally for this. While I am a bit afraid I know I can Plan A until I give him the Plan B letter on his way out.

I really don't want WH back. Just H. I know it was suggested that I write down H's former good qualities and the good things about our former R, forgive me, I can't remember who suggested it.

I'm not going to be able to do this right at this moment. It's going to be a few days. It hurts too much to look back at our wonderful memories right now.

But I WILL do it.

I just got a call from my lawyer. Apparently someone has been calling H's work and making threats. I have not called that office...only the corporate office.

I told my lawyer the name of the gentleman I spoke with re: the affair and that I was trying to get help for H's addiction.

I have NEVER called H's office and threatened anyone or made threats. I told my lawyer that my phone bills are an open book if anyone wants to investigate.

I am just damned if I do and damned if I don't.

Now I am upset again. What the heck?!?!

That is really low.

I have to go see my lawyer this afternoon to go over the agreement. If I'm not too upset to drive.

"Apparently" - did the caller leave a name or phone number?

I'm about to do my only daily exercise now. I am jumping to a conclusion, something I do quite well.

I'm concluded that WH's lawyer said something to your lawyer about your exposure to the HR office. That WH's lawyer exaggerated and multiplied your one call to "several" calls in an effort to scare you into shutting up.

That is my conclusion. Now, darnit, I'm all out of breath.

But, does it help in bringing Spock back in charge?

It also wouldn't be surprising if the OW herself was calling WH's office and "threatening" while pretending to be Charlotte...in order to further anger the WH and divide them.

Sounds like WH might have been called on the carpet as a result of your call and now he's calling his lawyer to complain. Remember, WS are notorious for twisting the truth. Don't worry about it if that's the only call you've made. OTOH, is it possible that OWH's could do something like that?

cathys01, are you also out of breath? And you, princess meggy?

Vicarously enjoying this because I am viewing it as a natural consequence of exposure. Predicting that after it passes, it will be like a gas bubble in a swamp, forgotten, in the success of your rebuilt marriage.

It's a good sign! Right, girls?

Hi Bellevue,

Yes, it will help with Spock in charge, especially in light of this recent call from my lawyer.

The letter they received from opposing counsel stated that the calls were anonymous.

I have done no such thing. I have better things to do than make juvenile phone calls and do drive-bys. The only two drive-bys I even did were:

1. I accidentally drove by on the day I exposed to OWH. I didn't know I was even on that blvd. until I saw the office.

2. I drove by one night after a visit with Mel to see if H was there as he claimed. No. I didn't expect him to be there anyway.

And that is IT.

I told my lawyer on the first day we met that I had called HR and informed them about the affair. I mentioned it on subsequent visits also.

He has the name of the contact in HR.

But you might be right...H could have twisted it the way you mentioned.

Well, bring on the lie dectector test then. Here are my phone records and the phone records of my family.

If H wants to be rid of me so bad...why can't he leave me alone? He is still trying to punish me for his affair.

How sick and disgusting.

Good point, cathys01.

I believe she is VERY capable of doing such a thing.

Charlotte22, It is completely illogical that a woman would expose her H's affair openly and identifying herself, and thereafter make anonymous contact. What would be the point?

Anonymous exposure is cowardly. You declared yourself, vulnerable and open. You are credible, your face is right out there.

It makes no sense at all to change tactics. You have nothing to hide.

If this is your H making things up, remember he is fogbound. It is your WH, not your H.

If it is the OW's H, poor man does not have the wisdom and strength of MB for support.

If it is the OW, well, we all know what she is.

Hi princess meggy, how are you today?

You are right about H being called on the carpet. That email that he sent about the hornet's nest was about that. The last time I spoke to the gentleman in HR...I HAD to tell him that H spies on other's emails.

So they wouldn't discuss the investigation in emails and give H a head's up. And also because it's wrong. HR said they would take care of that immediately.

Oh, and also in the letter, my lawyer said that it says, "If these calls continue, H will lose his job." H will probably lose his job anyway and not because of phantom phone calls, if they are phantom.

I don't think OWH would do this. Plus he knows a lot of people in the office there so he gets info from them. No, I don't think OWH would do that. It would be beneath him, IMO.

I hope it is a good sign. Apparently H is not too busy to try and poke THIS monster with a stick. Well, this monster has integrity.

Poking with an ugly lie stick will not work.

Thanks, Bellevue,

That's what I'M screamin'!

It wouldn't make any sense at all for me to do that. I have been nothing but above board about exposure.

I swear.

Well, I guess I will laugh about this someday. Right now it's just sad and disheartening.

Too much idle time for H? Nothing better to do? What about spending time with OW like he wanted to so badly? And to get rid of me? Why doesn't he just leave me alone, then?