Her story is scattered across many threads. That link gives you a link to a post by her, then you can click on her name and find every post she's written for 250 posts.

Thanks KaylaAndy.

I'll have to wait until I get on my pc at home. This one is not cooperating for some reason.

It lets me do certain things and not others. At least the one at home is consistent. It won't let me read my yahoo mail.

I can check it all I like. I just can't open any!

I'm going to read as much as I can of these threads you have turned me onto. I doubt I'll be sleeping very well.

Yep..it hurt when I found out that my H moved in with the OW..Wow,was I shocked..she lived in THE GHETTO..really..my H was scared..but he still moved there..even though he had bought a condo for his love nest.

They were TRYING to make it WORK.

It was the NAIL on the COFFIN of his affair.

She tried to play "wifey". She failed.

She couldn't keep up the BROADWAY PRODUCTION 24/7...

They were trying to lead a REAL life...

While I was moving on into my NEW HOUSE...

Not saying it will be the same for you..but DO NOT ASSUME THAT THIS IS A GOOD THING...

It's about them TRYING TO MAKE IT WORK...and, of course, it won't...

Charlotte, I know this is hard to hear, but it really is the beginning of the end. Affairs never pan out because the affairees are too selfish and entitled to make a successful marriage. Go read Dr. Harley's post in the divorcing forum to a man who is pursuing his AFFAIR with a married woman. It is DOOMED.

And now that they are living together, the fantasy will start collapsing even faster. I know it hurts, but it really only means the end of probably closer.

I agree - it's definately the beginning of the end. My XH's affair was going on for 1.5 years before they moved in together. Then it all fell apart after 5 months. This is definately a positive thing. Keep your chin up.

I am another that agrees that their living together is great news. I always wished that my exWH and OW had moved into toegther, the affair would have ended sooner.

No only will this end the affair faster, but I believe it makes it easier for the WS to be done, once they are done. There are no romantic illusions left, they aren't wondering woulda, coulda, ahoulda. Once the A ends, the WS has no questions left about this unrequited love crap.

Don't aske your lawyer to speed up the divorce until you feel consistently the same for several months.

char,

don't give up stay the strong woman that filed for D because she knew her limits. you have to keep those limits. i know i am not a vet but i too am learning to keep my limits and have no contact and it isthe hardest thing i have ever had to do. i too have heard that they moved in together and it tears me up inside. i thought by now he would have wanted to come back so like you as the more time passes by the more worried i get sometimes. but then the light bulb comes on and i say to myself if he really wants to be with someone who is similar to me (we were mistaken for sisters numerous times) but has all the traits he hates such as being a smoker, not interested in public affection and a long sexual history (she doean't know her number but it's way more then 100 and he had a problem with my 10) then he really wasn't for me.

this too shall pass, you know it deep down but now it must be your mantra.

OK char your gonna smile damnit...even if I have to stand on my head and laugh so hard milk still comes out of my nose......gotcha didn't I....<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />

So when we takin this road trip?

Thanks, mimi.

I thought a lot about your story when I heard. Especially with him leaving so much crap here. Someone brought your story up a couple of weeks ago.

Oh yeah, because I mentioned that he left so much crap here.

Hi Mel,

Thank you. I'm still hanging in there. The hardest part for me is the disgust I feel about his actions.

Even though I know it's Mr. Gray and not Jonesy.

Despicable, deplorable, disgusting. The three "D's."

Thank you, aNN,

I'll sure try!

Thank you Jean36,

I like that idea. I hope it happens sooner rather than later.

I know I can't control it but I also know that she isn't ME.

That's what will pull Jonesy out of the muck, if there's any of him left.

Thank you, utb,

I agree. Especially with your last lines. I hate to think that he was really like that all along. I know he wasn't, but sometimes you wonder.

I'm just trying to keep disgust at bay. I'm glad I don't have to see him or talk to him at all.

And he knows that it will be the absolute END of anything between us. No being friends. Not even acquaintances.

His loss.

Maybe it's easy for him, though. I am wife #2, after all.

Maybe I'll smile later. I'd love to do the road trip. I don't see it happening for a little while, though so if you're itching you might as well scratch the itch and go without me.

My Mom is going to SF later this month for a bit to see bro and my nieces. I wouldn't mind going with her but there aren't enough of us to take care of my G'ma, so that's out.

Yep. Still here. Not dead.

Been thinking about things. My deal is this:

I'll file these things away in the "I don't give a sh*t" file.

Then I'll move on. Sometimes I wonder if I have the strength to do what it takes after Gray falls. Do I really want to help him pick up the pieces of his life?

Do I really want damaged goods back? I don't know, I'm always trying to fix things when they break. And I recycle.

I know I can do it. But will I want to?

Plus there's the guy I met. Clean slate. Am I tempted to say the heck with it and move on right now?

Sure. But it wouldn't be fair to me or the other person. I can't even be friends with him now because of the attraction between us. So I avoid contact. This sucks. But I'm not going to compromise my morals and values just because of Mr. Gray.

I'll be leaving here soon. I have to go see my shiny attorney and drop off the mail. I'll tell him the latest news if he's there and not in court. Who knows? Might even help my case.

Included with the mail will be the package that came back here that Gray needs to have taken care of.

If I can find that other letter I found in the file the other day I'll include that as well. I'm sure Gray has convinced himself that all will be hunky-dory as far as his DWI is concerned.

Well, he's fooling himself in that arena as well.

So there's a good chance he'll end up wifeless, jobless and with a felony record before that is all over.

Who's he gonna call? Ghostbusters?

He knows dang good and well I would have stood by him no matter what.

I guess he'll reap what he sows.

Meanwhile, I'm too busy to bother with him. I am still feeling better since the PBL and I expect this will continue on an upward trend.

I'm counting on it.

Hey Charlotte!

Just checking in to see how you're doing.

I caught up on all of your thread, but it looks like your H is moving in with the OW... I know this action hurts, but like the others said - This will help speed up the end of the A as they will now have to face "real life" issues together...

I'll be back on my normal night shift around the middle of the month...

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hi Charlotte,

Just checking in and following your thread. Sorry you are hurting, but I really believe that what the others say is true. Moving in together is the beginning of the end.

Gee, think how it was when we first got married... We found out that they pee on the toilet seats, fart in bed and shove your head under the covers, snore, sleep on the couch when there's house work to be done, and all of that other unpleasant stuff. But we hung in there and forged a long term bond and eventually got used to all of that stuff because we were building a life together. And we were able to do it because we didn't have all of the baggage.

In the affair, when that stuff starts to happen they have to be thinking how the grass really isn't greener, and why are they giving up what they had only to get more of the same or worse. Plus, now they have baggage of an XS, kids, alimony, CS, and guilt. No wonder those things don't last.


Hang in there girlie...

(((((((CHARLOTTE))))))))

I couldn't sleep last night thinking about your situation, and I've come to realize that when this happens to me God is calling me to prayer. So I prayed for you for quite some time last night.

Want you to know you are loved, you are WORTHY, and God is working in your life. I will continue to hold you up to the Lord in prayer.

Blessings,

Love in Christ,
Miss M

*bump* for Charlotte...

Hi Charlotte, I just posted under your thread about updates, and then went to this one to read through to date. While out of state, I was only able to get to internet long enough to get emails. Puter was in someone's room and I didn't want to impose on their space other than for that.

I asked for a link to the update thread. I guess that I don't really need it, because of being able to follow this post up to date.

Comment: It seems to me that Plan B has protected your feelings and sanity and that you are doing really consistent with it. Rotten road to travel, but safest way to do it.

Loved your Gray/Slag dreams. Wish fulfillment!