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Thanks mojo!!!
I'll do that.
Do I need to send another copy of the letter through my Doberman the next time I make a mail run? Or a note asking him to please honor my request? Or call my intermediary so she can reiterate the conditions of the PBL?
I guess I shouldn't write a personal note. That would be a fix for him, probably. I've been very careful when I'm in IM to make myself invisible to him. I can't delete myself from his end and I know he still has me in his IM.
I just changed his name to my Doberman's Dinner so I don't get upset seeing it there...I see what it is now and have a little chuckle, if I even look at it at ALL.
The only bad thing is when I get bumped offline and IM automatically logs back in, it logs in to visible mode even though it's set to invisible.
I don't even want him to have the tiniest fix he'd get from seeing me log in and out.
I guess I'm going overboard? Nah. I blocked myself in gmail too, like a kind poster showed me. Thank you! I can't remember who it was at the moment.
So, if he logs in there he sees nothing now. And I deleted his name so I don't get freaky.
Anyway, rambled on too much again! Sorry!
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No, don't send another letter. This would only let him know you got wind of his manueverings and that its agitated you.
You only send the PBL when he actually attempts to confront YOU or begins harrassing you in other ways. At least that's my opinion. Never give the WS any ounce of evidence that you are thnking or waiting for them. You sit and let them stew wondering what YOU are up to.
I know others may not agree, but in a few weeks, I'd allow things to slip like.... oh, ordering yourself flowers and making sure your DS and DL see them. Do your list you have, that's wonderful and I was so happy to see it. And when you do have time, get yourself that little Deberman puppy.
You might want to consider joining a local book club or somthing like that. Start branching out SOCIALLY, not just solo. Word gets back to Wses mighty quick and boy do they hate that!
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Hey Charlotte,
I haven't seen you around for a couple of days and just wanted to check in with you and see how things are going...
Semper Fi,
RIF
Me, BS Her, Forgiven Married Dec 86
Multiple A's that ended '90 Rebuilding In Faith since then...
Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Hey Charlotte - How are things going for you?
Semper Fi,
RIF
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I just changed his name to my Doberman's Dinner so I don't get upset seeing it there...I see what it is now and have a little chuckle, if I even look at it at ALL. Just the thought of it gives me indigestion! Hope you're doing well.
Me - BS
DDay 1 (Multiple affairs while overseas) - Feb 2003
DDay 2 (AdultFriendFinder Profile) - April 2007
Seeing a counselor. I think we have him stumped.
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Just the thought of it gives me indigestion!
Hope you're doing well. LOL, Dobie!! Yeah, even so, I STILL had to put a muzzle on my Doberman, he wants his dinner SO badly!!! And who knows? In the end, he may end up having it. But that's not my choice. Only Mr. Gray's. I'm doing just fine right now. Thanks for asking! I'm busy with inventory. I gave my Doberman my word that I would take care of it so I am. Take care! Charlotte
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Hi RIF!
Great to see ya'!!
I'm doing really well but I'm busy, busy, busy!!
Tonight I am watching DGS so DS & DIL can go out. It's the first time they're going out alone since DGS was born.
I'll be back in with a longer update later.
Thanks for asking, RIF!!
Take care,
Charlotte
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Hi cinderella!
Thank you for checking in on me!!
Take care,
Charlotte
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Miss M patiently waiting.
Arms crossed, tapping foot...well????
Love in Christ, Miss M <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
PS.(((((hugs!!!!!)))))
me: FBS H: FWS Fully recovered
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LOL Miss M!!
Just got back from taking care of DGS. I guess the update will be later today, LOL!!
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Hey Charlotte!
It's good to see you again... we were starting to worry about you after you were away from the boards for a couple of days...
Glad to see that you're doing well and I look forward to reading your update!
Semper Fi,
RIF
Me, BS Her, Forgiven Married Dec 86
Multiple A's that ended '90 Rebuilding In Faith since then...
Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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Hi RIF!
Thanks! I picked up a bug so that successfully put me out of commission for a few days!
I've been pretty busy otherwise so any plans I have are on hold until I get a good handle on this inventory here.
Naught from Mr. Gray. I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never speak to him again as long as I live. I wish I could be more upset, maybe later I will be but right now I'm just not.
If he wants to ruin his life, fine. He's not ruining mine along with it. Ruining my credit was enough.
Anyway, I'm usually one of three places these days. Home, my g'ma's or my Doberman's. We decided that it would be best to do the inventory in phases since there is so much of it, rather than all at once. That way the appraisers can work on one phase while I ready the next.
I have a pretty good set-up for it, forgive me if I've already mentioned this! We have some professional lighting that was sitting around unused for at least 3 years so I broke that out for the pictures.
I'm thinking that as I get done with a phase I will move it out into a warehouse and Gray can pick it up from there. That way I can shovel the rest of his manure in along with it. But AFTER the inventory, not during.
It will be a lot of work, especially if I end up having to rent a warehouse out of town. The warehouse needs to be climate-controlled, so it may end up being out of town. But at least then I won't have to worry about any contact with Mr. Gray.
My Doberman likes that idea, too, but would prefer that Gray pay for half of the rent. We'll see if that comes to pass. I'm not that worried about it. I can just say I want to rent it for "x" amount of months, give Dobie the key, he gives it to Gray, and Gray picks up the stuff or not. If he hasn't picked it up by the time the lease is up that's not my problem.
So anyway, flying is on hold until a little later...of course the weather isn't all that conducive for flying at the moment, not for me, anyway!
I also want to take some dance lessons; I was thinking ballroom, DIL says Salsa...it doesn't really matter to me. It's something I've been wanting to do for years but never have. I think it will be good for exercise and a lot of fun. There used to be a lot of dances around our little town but not so much anymore. Polka, polka, polka!!! Now only once or twice a year or so.
So as of this point I'm looking at personal recovery only and I'm fine with that. I keep waiting to break down and get upset but it's not happening. I don't think Gray gives a rat's a-- what I do anymore and I'm not going to waste time grieving over someone who can treat someone like trash and walk away like nothing. I deserve better and so do the kids. Unfortunately they are linked biologically to him and nothing can be done about that. But I'm not. I already told them I'd be there for them no matter what happens.
Well, that's all I have at the moment!
TTFN!
Take care,
Charlotte
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........ I've resigned myself to the fact that I'll probably never speak to him again as long as I live. I wish I could be more upset, maybe later I will be but right now I'm just not. Belle here. I forgot how to use the quote thing. Commenting that you aren't as affected because you're protecting your emotions in Plan B. I'm thinking that as I get done with a phase I will move it out into a warehouse and Gray can pick it up from there. That way I can shovel the rest of his manure in along with it. But AFTER the inventory, not during. [color:"purple"] How inconsiderate of you. Why, Gray will have to dig through the manure to reach the valuables. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> I see you coming out of this smelling like a rose.
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Belle here. I forgot how to use the quote thing. Commenting that you aren't as affected because you're protecting your emotions in Plan B. Thanks, Bellevue! So that's it, eh? Because I am really starting to question myself here. It's almost like I don't miss him at all. I don't miss him at night, I don't miss him during the day. There was a time that I was sure I would never be able to stay in our home if we split up, but I haven't been having that problem at all. I'm enjoying myself there. Of course, 99.999% of our memories are packed away, so I'm sure that helps. But even so... How inconsiderate of you. Why, Gray will have to dig through the manure to reach the valuables. LOL!!! That's a funny thought! Well, I'll leave the shovel on top to make it easier for him. Make that a garden trowel. A shovel is too easy! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I see you coming out of this smelling like a rose. Thank you, Belle! I can see that happening as well! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />
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a teaspoon and a tweezer .........
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Well,
Tomorrow marks the 6th week of Plan B. Everything is going well, even though I was sick for a few days. Now I'm back up kicking and working on inventory. I'll have a good report to turn in next week to my Doberman. Then the appraisers can get started, finally.
I don't know what Mr. Gray will think about it and I don't care, really. It's going to get done. Maybe he thinks I can't handle it. Well I can. And I have people in my corner who believe in me as well. So it will be like "The Little Engine That Could" as far as inventory goes.
I'm sure, if anything, it will add a sense of finality for him, especially if I go ahead with the warehouse idea.
Anyway, still puzzling a bit over my attitude here. I guess I shouldn't complain. Every day I read how painful it is for others in Plan B and otherwise. I don't know...maybe there was a larger chunk removed from my Love Bank than I first thought.
I am enjoying the positive attention I have been getting when I do go out and about, which isn't often, but sometimes. I still remember being so down that I couldn't even really look strangers in the eye. Now I'm back to where I used to be and I can smile and be friendly and elicit a laugh here and there and it feels good. And it feels genuine.
I usually take the opportunity to shop a bit after I have to see my Doberman because there are much better places around there than in our tiny town. So last time I spent some money on myself and I refuse to feel bad about it!!
For a long time it was just money for supplies for home. Well, I bought a few new clothes and finally made it to the 1/2 price bookstore to restock some good reading material. Since I was sick, though, I may need to go there again soon!
Other than that, I have been behaving very nicely. There are times when I wonder if Mr. Gray thinks about me at all. Then I'm like...well, probably. But so what? By the time he wakes up it may very well be too late.
I don't know. I'm not sure what I'd do or say if he suddenly showed up and said he wanted to save us. I'd be terrified of trusting him, that's for sure. So I wouldn't. Especially since I had that dream where he tried to trick me.
At any rate, it's all out of my hands now. I have given it over to God to take care of and I pray for guidance in this and also pray for all of the hurting souls on this board a LOT. I still need help and guidance but I am forging ahead and helping myself...that's the right thing, isn't it?
Well, I guess I'll sign-off now before this gets too long. Oops! Too late!
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a teaspoon and a tweezer ......... ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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Hey Charlotte!
Sorry that I missed your update.... You sound like you're doing very well! Good for you!!!
I hope that Mr. Gray pulls his head out of the sand before its too late... but regardless, YOU are going to do great!
Semper Fi,
RIF
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Charlotte,
Sounds like you're doing great! The not missing thing is interesting. It sounds like you're a very mentally healthy indidvidual which is why you're doing so well.
However, just be a bit careful because sometimes you'll be hit out of the blue and be really down.
Doesn't mean you nee to lvie being weary but rather cogniscent that you maybe have a few down days here and there that are yet to come.
BxBF 32 years
WxGF 30 years
D-Day 9/24/07
Break-up/separation 9/30/07
Plan A 9/30/07-11/7/07
Plan B 11/8/07
A over 12/4/07
NC since 12/16/07
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