sent via hotmail... might take a minute to find you.

MEDC,,,your such a good egg!! so glad you here.

thanks DF.

TOMK...I don't think you are right about the order. In fact my communication could be something like this...

I am calling to inform you of several things. While your H would like to be in contact with you, he cannot do so because violating the terms of the restraining order will put him in jeopardy of going to jail. Until this inaccurate and "never should have been put in place" RO is removed, there is no way for him to safely contact you.
In addition, the incidents of false positives STD results as well as those that can remain dormant for year/decades should prompt you to research this matter more closely. Your H is insisting on his never had an affair. He would even be willing to submit to a polygraph to prove this. Would you be willing to do the same?
Moving forward, I think it is time for you to do some research on STD's. I think it is time for you to start living in a completely honest fashion. There are places that you can go to discuss your marital issues. I met your H at one such place on the internet.
Your family is the most important thing. If your world was rocked by the test results, I can understand your concern. If there is another reason for that result, forgiveness is awaiting you. But for right now, please consider taking the first steps towards a better marriage and a better life.


TOMK...this communication would NEVER violate a RO since it is not coming from you and I am doing ti of my own accord. It doesn't say...S wanted me to contact you...it is my communication to her.

Thank you again MEDC. My only concern at this point would be if she decided to persue how you came about getting her contact info. I've done more than I care to admit in researching any possible way to contact her without violating the RO. So far the only legal means is through my Lawyer.

The communication you post shouldn't be in any violation, but the mere fact of how you got her contact info could very well be read in the RO as my attempt to communicate with her.

Our phones are unlisted, we have no public record of email... I work in IT so I know how to keep my online profiles private, I've taught her the same...

Not to mention she is a COMPLETE privacy freak...

I gave you some info in the email, when I get more, I'll be sure to take you up on the offer if I'm advised to do so. I hope you truly understand my side, and even though I almost violated the RO less than 12 hours ago... coming to this board kept me from that very thing. I reacted last night instead of thinking... I'm more senible this morning.

My lawyer contacted me for the first time on a Sunday, I have every confidence he will return a call I placed any time.

Again, sincere gratitude for your offer.
TOMK

TOMK,

I read about your recent events. I am glad you worked with the support you received.

Violating an RO is typical of a revengeful spirit. As enticing as it appears, notify your local support group to be on notice to act as your intermediary as needed.

Here's my take: If she went to that site near the airport, it could have been a trap. One will never know and you should be grateful (which you are) for the support you are receiving.

Keep moving forward. How much longer will the RO be in effect? Why is she contacting you via text or e-mail? Do you have a 3rd party that can handle all communications, except for family emergencies?

take care,
L.

I am telling you as a ex law enforcement that this will not violate your RO. I would not tell her how I got her number...that leaves you out of it.

No matter how "private" people think they are, they are easy to track down. There are only two people in NH that are close to your age with your name...one with the middle initial of D, the other W. I have lists of all family members and previous addresses at my finger tips...so your wife could never claim that the info came from you.

BUT, you need to be okay with this process. I put the offer out there, and you will take me up on it as your see fit. Either way, I think it would serve you well to read the restraining order issues against you. IT should clearly spell out your obligations and prohibitions.

[quoteI don't believe she expected me at that spot. It's patrolled on both sides of the fence by state and local police. They do stop and talk to poeple parked there on a regualr basis too. She would not have expected that to be a meeting place. I'm a little shocked to learn she went there on her own though. She never really seemed to enjoy being there when we'd go. But she did like seeing our som get so excited every time the planes went by. Going on a night she's alone... the romantic in me wants to believe she was trying to connect....

As I type this I get another email.
Just wanted you to know that your son spent the night at Papa's house, not my sister's. I know you would have wanted that instead, he wanted Papa and Nanny all night anyway too. My sister is upset she didn't get to have him overnight, but they are all headed to breakfast now. I have my class from 8:45-1:15 and should be in (town name removed) to pick him up. He misses you and so do I. I'm sorry for all this. I do love you.
L[/quote]

I think her going there was her way of connecting with you. She knew it would be a long shot but I bet there was a little piece of her that was hoping you would "know" she was there and go to her. I think that is good but you NOT going is even better. Not just because you would get into trouble but because it hammers home how wrong getting the RO was. She has to face her mistake and the more she is alone with out you the more time she has to think.

Glad it worked out...

If she needed to talk you could have done over the phone, right?

MK, you know I am not so up to date on US law.( though our laws are quite similar)
I do know here though , you would be breaching a DVO in my state...and I strongly advise you not to make contact with T/s wife.
Infact T would be in breach already with the added stalking with his mate keeping tabs on his wife.
DVO'S, RO's.whatever you like to call them are generally very specific...in terms of contact, including distances and the use of friends to make contact.


I am suprised and very disapointed that anyone on this site would even consider the above as acceptable behaviour- no matter what anyone thinks.

Max

what is unacceptable behavior MM?

the only person that has done anything that could be considered "unacceptable behavior" would be his wife when she lied to have him arrested. Everything else has been above baord. Leave it to you to have your facts completely upside down.

That , you would consider breaching a DVO-for a reasonably intelligent person-that is not so intelligent.

and that thing about having someone watch his wife with a lawful order in place-marker, red flag, whatever---it is against the law...and if it aint in that state..it bloody well should be..but I suspect it is.

Max

Max... apparently you know less than you let on. ever hear of the PI act? Yes, my co-worker doesn't have a PI license, but there is nothing wrong with him placing himself in the vacinity... as long has he doesn't interact or cuase an action.

You really do lurk just to bring up the dark side of everything don't you?

you CLEARLY don't belong here... how many posts have you had removed by the Mods here?

.... you are NOT worth my time, energy, and effort. I have nothign to prove to you at all.

...sending a stalker after her... PLEASE.

...anyone applauding you for your efforts? I've seen numerous posts to the effect for MEDC... nothing even close to that about you. In fact the only posts I ever see directed at you are on the complete other side of the spectrum.

Do us all a favor... *********************.
(oops... did I threaten you? Call your Law Enforcement agency, or repost my post to the Mods...)

edit:

Good thing I never posted where I live/work otherwise Max here might call the authorites for my wife, pretending to be her and have me tossed in jail...

Max...considering I spent time as a police officer...do you think I might have a better handle on these things than some *****************

******************

yes I do...and would expect more

I also have another question..and as a former police orifficer you might also consider this one.

T's wife was completly calm- at the arrest-remember that?

Max

Forgot to say I don't mind being called a"twit".

and-T's wife was completly calm- at the arrest-remember that?
but she was angry/upset enough to strike out at T. Plus let us not forget she fell/tripped backwards into the doorway-just enough to put a hole in the wall.

I said from the beginning-something happened that night...and...

I am waiting
Max
and
Max

the door poked a hole in the drywall. it happens with frequency if it is not properly restrained. My the 9 year old...with all extreme power has done that in the past.

As far as the calmness of the woman...that is not unusual....

again, MM, what experience do you have in these cases? None? I would put my experience up against anyone in this case and tell you that based on the one side that we have heard so far...nothing is unusual.

MM, you have done nothing to try and help this poster...all you have done is try and annoy those on his thread. Your lack of experience in these cases and your ignorance to U.S. law are evident. The original poster here asked you to leave his thread on numerous occasions...why is it that you keep hounding him?

I know I know, I am way out of my depth here.

gee wiz just trying to make friends...duh

Lets get this striagt MK...my opinion here is very clear.

T, needs support...I hope he gets it.

Max

agreed...and he will...here and hopefully in his "real" life.

MK

define 'real life'

Max