You had lunch with a family friend, doesn't make you a WW (which you couldn't be since u r guy <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> ).

U R still a BS and we would like to help you move forward while kicking some azz into the A.

L.

Not really a family friend. Its her Best friend. You could only imagine her yelling her lungs out over the phone at her. She is very very angry? But why? She ended it with me 1 hour earlier and said she liked that OP. I dont think that is very fair at all.


I mean this whole ordeal is my fault to begin with. Im the one who had the A. She has every right to go do what she wants. But thats not fair to flip out on me about eating with her best friend.


Her best friend was worried about me and felt bad for me so she offered to pick me up and take me through the Drive Thru at Burger King and then brought me right back home.


She flipped out on the phone cussing and yelling acting like we had something going on?

That's a typical WS reaction. Now I realize the friend is trying to help. She can but for now let the friend know it needs t/b from a distance. Ask the friend to help find your W and not the WS. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

As for future lunch randeavous (sp???).... put them on hold for now....despite the good intentions.

JMHO,
L.

THe friend was just worried about me so she picked me up cause I was doing very rough. I just woke up this medicine has me 100% out of it. Im going to bed thank u all for the help tonight. Post up so I can check it out in the morning. I can barely read antyhing right now

Take care tonight. I'll be saying prayers for you.

Well its 5am and im wide awake. I cant go back to sleep and im hurting.


Thank u all for the posts yesterday, Please keep them coming.


I dont know if I should even contact her at this point? Dont know what to do.

It still bothers me when a girl talks to me or something or go out with her friend yesterday she gets so angry? She must have something there that cares?

Ofcoarse there is something still there, But you have to remember the pain she has been suffered.

She is afraid of you, she doesnt want nor does she deserve to be hurt any more.

It will take time for her to see your changes and trust you again.

Just keep showing her that you love her

Yes, if she even does see my changes, ive made so many and she made the comment the other night,

"You havent changed, your just not sleeping around with girls now"

She talks about how good this OP is.


What hurts is, the week before any of this happened back in the summer.....

When she got home from the beach that day and she told me a story about someone she saw there at the beach....He stuck his head out the window and said... "Hey wanna ride with us?"

My Wife replied- "No sorry im married"

He replied- "Must be a lucky guy"


She informed me last night, THIS is the same guy, apparently he lived down here. How great is that.

She talks about how great he is, opening doors for her ect. Caring about her and showing respect.

Something I lacked a lot of later in our relationship. She see's nothing at all good in me, only the bad. Everything is about how bad I treated her and she see's nothing good. I have a very hard time believing she will come around if she gets attached with this person. He just got out of a long term relationship also.

This really really hurts, but I mean...All of this is my fault to begin with.


I dont know weather I should just let her go and go on with my life? Or should I contact her day to day? Christmas is tomorrow?



Also when my W said yesterday when I was with her friend...

"First he will be nice to you then he will hit on you"

That tells me she doesnt really believe ive changed right there.

Zach,

Can you please stop focusing on her and her WS thoughts and more on how Zach can be safe? I know it is hard but you must try.... it is how you will be able to get back in control of yourself.

Expect her to babble that she loves anything that is wrong in life. That is what a WS does. It's not reality but it will babble from her mouth....the question is are you buying it as your reality?

L.

But Orchid is she really considered a WS? She hasnt really done anything. Im the one who ran around on her in our marriage. I messed this up and I caused this. Yes her and this OP are friends and it scares me to death.

Legally she can go date others and such. But I know its still Adultry. She doesnt see it that way though. She said when I messed around on her that gave her the right to do anything she wants.


The reality. I dont know what is and what isnt. Yes she loves me but I think she might be so hurt she wont come back. Ive treated her like crap for 4 years, why would she want to come back to that? Yes Ive changed but she dont beleive so.

Who is currently displaying the WS attitude?

L.

Yes she is. Correct.

Like she says though, Legally she has every right to do what shes doing.


Its out of my control at this point I guess. I feel ive made great changes and im not sure what else I can do but continue to keep doing what I am.


I have a hard time seeing her come back, she see's nothing good in me, and its been like this for 4-5 months now. Now shes found someone who makes her happy why would she?

Also, me and her friend shes living with and walks on water butted heads yesterday.


She told me I was in "Amys World". And get out of her and my W's life and its none of my business what they do. Ect. threathening me ect. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

Ok now to shut my mouth and stop my whining and start becoming someone.


I need a plan. Should I contact her daily? What should I do? I dont know what to do at this point.

OMG

My W just called me on her way to work and told me I owe her $29,000 or shes going to sue me for Alamony.


Her parents own my car, they bought it for me and I agreed to make monthly payments which I have on time for years. And when we were living together my Wife paid most of the rent while I paid for everything else.

She called me this morning and yelled and screamed at me about how its over and she hates I done all these mean things to her and she will never forgive me and she likes this guy and he treats her right. And thats what she needs

She told me I have 3 months to pay her 29k for my Car and for my Rent she paid for 3 months. Or she will sue me for Alamony.


WHY!??? Why is she flipping out on me like this, my life is getting worse and worse. Im so tired of this. I have nothing and shes going to make sure I have even less. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/frown.gif" alt="" />

speak to a lawyer Zach...while I recognize you are legally married...you need to protect yourself.

I would also suggest that you set up an appointment with a therapist immediately.

Look, you are 20...no kids...3 PA's...spilt up four months after M. Even Dr. H who specializes in helping marriages recover would most likely suggest that divorce is a better option for you at this point.

A plan.
Stop being so reactive. Speak to a therapist regularly. Calm down.

Yeah, My mom is setting me something up after christmas, we both realize I need help right now.

My Wife loves me, shes just so hurt and confused right now. I really really do believe and so does her friend that down the road we might end up back together. Shes not near close over me, shes going off of anger. Shes so mad and hurt she just yells at me. She dont mean the things she says. Shes hurt.

she SHOULD be angry at you....you don't need your mom to set up an appointment for you Zach...take control of your own life here... you are a 20 year old husband...set up your own appointments.

BUT...you need to focus on YOU right now...not her. YOU are your own worst enemy. Become your best friend by focusing on improving Zach.

Zach, love doesn't equal being able to be married. There are a lot more things that go into it. You two obviously got married before you were ready to do so...

so, rather than focusing on getting her back...focus on becoming the man that you need to be to one day be in a successful marriage.

and be kind to yourself...eat right, exercise...meditate...pray.

Thank you, I had to take some pills to calm me down while im at work. I guess I need to get a perscription cause Im a lot happier person and act normal when I take them.

She said she felt dumb jumping my butt like she did this morning and threathening me like that. See my problem is.

I love my W and want to do everything to get her back.
Right now I need my EN's met very badly and I need somoene in my life. I dont wanna continue doing what I am sitting at home scared to go out and hang out with OW and screw up the possibility of I may get back with my W.


Dunno life is tough I guess. And it must go on. She loves me I know, and I do think one day she will get over it if shes single and want me back in her life maybe if she see's the changes.

Thank you all for your help, please continue to be active in my thread, I need you guys so badly, your the only ones who know how I feel.