Or, take the box to the minister to give to him, and give you an opportunity to talk.

I think I will call an officer friend I know who is on staff up there and just give the stuff I am not suppossed to have to him.

didn't sleep too well last night found myself up and down all night long....talked to his brother last night who is pissed at him....this morning found out I have been removed from his myspace and his myspace is private now.

Did he leave you any goodies like a genIV body armor?

On e-bay a good genIV is going for around $900.

Let's just call it "compensation" for deception.

Or if you want some really good karma, just mail it to me!!!!

Pariah, only you would need body armor.

SIHW, just keep breathing. He is not capable of being the man you need him to be. Perhaps its the military thing. Everything is so regimented, so feelings have no place.
I had my heart broken by a West Pointer years ago.
I think deployments (or potential deployments) change how people view the world.

You are alive, you are well and you have a wonderful son. At times like these, it is important to count our blessings.

He's not deployed newly he's here at the DLI in Monterey, Ca.

secondly if he left body armor like that...I would keep it for when I get a job with a department.

what do you think about me calling the command up there to get him his stuff back.

I think his "stuff" is REALLY low priority. And I wouldn't bother myself too much about getting it back to him.

Let HIM go out of HIS way to accomplish this task.

I think that letter was extremely manipulative!
He's trying to keep you away from the minister....

I say, take the high road. If you know someone close to him, drop it off to the minister.
Or, leave it on the porch with a message about when he can get it.
Don't cause trouble, just because you can.

he lives in the barracks so I can't get on base....and the minister our mutual friend has issues of his own....his wife is unhappy and wants to divorce and is telling everyone BUT him....he can't take any extra stuff right now...he's barely holding his own.

SINHW,

I'm just curious, how long have you two been dating?

we knew each other for about 5 months before we started dating we had been dating for 3 months....we were good friends before. Maybe It would have been better off if we had stayed that way.

SIHW,

I'm sorry you are hurting. I don't want you to think I'm taking this lightly...I'm not. You have to realize that 3 months is a short period of time. Thank goodness you found out early on instead of 1 year down the road.

Just take this as a learning experience and don't give so much of yourself into a relationship so quickly.

Remember this, you and your son deserve someone who can except both of you into his life.

You and mlhb can give each other support....you both will triumph over this too.

(((Hugs)))

I talked to mlhb last night she is a doll...wish she was closer and not so far away....we could be in trouble with 2 minds like ours working in unison. muhahaha....j/k

oh thank you surviving... you are sweet too. and yes, i am sure we could get into lots of trouble, er, have lots of fun <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

how are you holding up today??

mlhb

got a text message and got myself deleted from his myspace because I didn't lie to his brother......I am severly pissed...almost to that ****** hath no fury point....

Just got a text message:

what stuff do I have of yours and you can toss my stuff. You called my brother with some crazy stuff and put the first rift in 25 years between us. we wernt together long enough for all this . It's over. We don't need to get together and to talk things through. Talk to your friends and family not mine.

I got ticked and went off a bit my 10 page response:

First off your brother and I are friends he asked me to call. I am not going 2 lie to 2 save face for you. U know what stuff you have of mine. I don't want to talk things through but I do want some questions answered. Lord it's amazing how u don't know how much damage u have done. Look I have always been honest with you. But I feel you have been less than honest with me. Why did you have to use me. Why did you have to give me hope. I am glad u can eat, sleep and not cry through this. I am sorry I never ment anything and was just another notch in ur belt in monterey. Everything in that selfish email told me 2 u we never ment anything. U attacked my worth as a person and as a mother. I told mysself once I would not date a soldier again and I thought u were different and had some honor. Make the plans to exchange the stuff and quit being a coward. U created this mess be a man and clean it up so we both can be left with some dignity.

Texted him with:

I am sorry for being angry but U know I am hurt and from that comes anger. I don't want 2 be angry. I want 2 b 2 sdults who can communicate. I heard all about how u were feeling I listened 2 u. I obeyed what u wanted. I felt u never accomodates me in the same way. Now things r out of hand and i feel as if I am being made out 2 b a bad guy that I am not. BF u sau u don't want 2 b an [censored]. stop being one.

Got more text messages at lunch....he doesn't quit:

I only have a minute here. Things are out of hand because you made them that way. You read into everything I have said. I was honest and that is why your are angry.

My response...you need to re-read what you wrote from my perspective.

XBF: I have not ever made you out to be a bad person and I have not attacked you as a mom. Right now you are taking things out of hand. We were not together long enough for the drama of not eating. It's over and I can't see what else there is to talk about. I have given you what answers I have and you make more out of them there is. You have sent me about 20 (really where did XBF learn to count) texts here in a few hours. Please stop I am concentrating on arabic and I'll get you your stuff back to you.

My response:
Just set the time up and give me the respect of answering what I need to know.

XBF:
what do you need to know it's going to be several days before I get any time to do anything.

My response:
Good I need time 2 cool down before asking anyways. Just set it up.

ARGGGHHHHH! Damn this man

This is what I have always called "poise practice".Poise and grace. Repeat it to yourself. Don't make a breakup after 3 months ugly. Be very cool and walk away. It may be hard because you hurt but you will feel better. You aren't going to get closure. He says "it's over". That has to be enough in the closure department. He doesn't care about his stuff so why should you? He said toss it, so give it to the Salvation Army. Don't call his brother. Don't give them a reason to talk about you.

The way I see it, your stuff that he has probably isn't that important either. Don't get worked up about something like CDs. If you're talking about a $3000 watch, then, yes, make arrangements to get it back.

Good luck and life will get a lot better.

sihw,

you are letting your emotions get the best of you. do NOT talk to him or text him anymore. you cannot rationally talk with all of the feelings you are having right now. i know you want to spew and be angry and get answers. you aren't going to get them this way. trust me. the one time i spewed all of my feelings out there in a not very mature way (hindsite is 20/20) the reaction i got from him was just as much anger and ugliness back. and i can't blame him for that. it was the only time in over a year that i had ever really lost it, and it i did not do it very gracefully. or very maturely.

breathe sihw. vent to your friends. from this point on leave his family out of it. in the end, like it or not, blood will be thicker than water. i acknowledge that you are hurting, and i get it completely. but if you talk as you are to him in the texts, that is the kind of response you will get back in return. IF you get the chance to talk again, be calm, be rational, and say how you feel. "when you said or did this it made me feel this way", don't attack. i think you can salvage your dignity if, after a few days, you can honestly just say "i am sorry for how i reacted to this change in events, please try to understand that this hurts me and i am sad and disappointed. but i should not have flown off the handle like that. you are entitled to how you feel, and when you are ready, if you would like to talk and could just answer a few questions for me, when you have the time, i would appreciate it" i know it sounds kiss A** but believe me you attract more bees with honey... kindness will usually beget kindness.

in my situation a month or so ago, i was angry. i was damn angry. i had let some things build up and this final disappointment threw me over the edge. i am NOT proud of what i said, i spoke from emotion, and i posted it on my blog. granted, my blog was supposed to be my safe place, and he had always told me to be brutally honest on it. but my angry outburst on my blog had people commenting and saying things about gekko, because they were protecting me, and that got ugly to me. my blog got turned into something i never intended and he read it all. i took my blog down immediately and took some cooling off time. and i ate crow because i was wrong to that. and i sent him a very heartfelt apology explaining myself in a calm and rational demeanor and saying what i was really feeling. and from that i got a much better response. and that is how i choose to deal with situations now that i see how much better it worked.

sometimes we just need to feel what we are feeling and release it BEFORE we talk to the person we are angry at and who has hurt us.

i am so sorry sihw, this is hard i know.

mlhb

I thought I did better with my apology after I cooled down and thats why I kept my responses to his lunch texts short and to the point.