Without posting the past 6 yr history, I'll just post the most recent. My b/f of 6 yrs... I found out went out on a date with a women he swears he just met.... totally not like him, he's very shy. We use to live togehter but the stress of his ex wife interferring with our lives, because he has custody of the kids.. and his never stadning up to her, caused me to move out. We split for about 6 months, he said his feelings changed... then all of a sudden he can't live without me... well I bought my own house and he got even more insecure ....I spent all my free time working on my house, often he helped but we really didn't see much of each other. His mother went through a divorce so he was always helping her and she moved in with him. I never complained and understood his mom came first....So I thought things were ok.. then I find out about the date. I let it all out about my feelings etc. He swears he hasn't seen her again and he say he loves me and knows he'll never find anyone else like me.. his kids love me etc. But how could he do this, I ahve many other family and financial issues going on and him doing this just pushed me over. I really don't know what to do. Part of me say work on the relationship.. theother says he couldn't be there to support you in a hard time and this is the second time he has had this little change of heart. he said he went out with her because he felt like I didn't love him cuz I never made the effort to call him or semd to care if I ever saw him.....but does that jsutify what he did.. esepcially since we did see each other 5 days prior to him going on this date? I'd like some non bias opnions please.
Thank you

I would run like heck. Don't wait until you are married and have a bunch of kids. He has proven that when the going gets tough, he gets going.

Look around for someone who deserves you. But keep reading here to see how to have a wonderful marriage.

Well, if you want my unbiased opinion, please don't take offense. But you are the one who moved out and left him. And admitedly, you spent nearly all of your free time working on your new house. Where did this leave him? Maybe he's being a bit over-dramatic by blaming you for causing him to go out with someone else. But quite honestly, I don't think he did anything wrong.

In my opinion, your actions constituted a breakup. And he simply began the slow process of moving on.

If you both want to get together and try again, by all means! It sounds like you both want each other.

I don't take offense. When I moved out it was a mutual desicion... maybe more on his part cuz he wasn't nearly upset as I was. We had gone to counseling and he didn't agree with the counselor about how to help us so we both said that we simply can't live togehter ujtil he can get his ex in check.. his answer was always it's easier to ignore her then to confornt her.So she ineterfered and caused fights on a weekly, sometimes dailey basis.
Before I bought my house I had asked him if he thought we'd get back together and if so I wouldn't buy the house.. his answer was go ahead and buy the house. I did andbeing a single owmen and a homeowner took alot of time. He had once said something to the effect of that he just wanted a weekend g/f... so that is what I became when I bought the house. He would go from calling me and telling me how he misses me to not calling at all. Whne I'd call him, he was often cold and distant... so I thought he needed space. I gave him space and he thinks I don't care and goes on a date. To me being in a committed relationship means, you are committed until the words are said that you are not. So, once I told him I will not compete with this women, that a new relationship is always so exciting etc. Then he emails me to say he'll never find anyone and he knows what he did he'll lose me forever, I will find someone quick because I have so much to give and offer and he's never met anyone so kind and giving...he says he ahsn't seen this women and isn't trying to see both of us...but hasn't said he wants to work it out either. Tells me I can call whe nI feel down.. but when I do.. I talk/cry he says nothing.. almost like I'm annoying him....We are 40 yrs old and I am jsut not into these games. I don't know wha tto do.. part of me says GO.. the other says realtionships are hard and they need to fight.. but how do i trust him again that he won't get into this funk and do this again?

I would GO. Relationships ARE hard. I wouldn't waste effort on someone who wasn't willing to fight for it. Get the book here called Buyers, Renters, and Freeloaders. You have a freeloader on your hands.

I won't be buying anything.. on top of this relationship crap. I'm wayyyy into debt. looking for a second job. Mt tenant moved out and left a mess...so all of thsoe repairs I'm charging so i can get the apartment rented soon. I didn't even go back to schol this semester because I can't pay..... I'm sitting in my house with the temp at 52 so i won't have high gas bills ... so not buying of anything extra for a long time. Are there excepts of this book somewhere on this site that I can read?