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I probably shouldnt be asking, but I found this site and there are so many people on here, I just thought someone might be able to help me. I have been married to a wonderful guy for 23 years now and I have been thinking lately that I would like to have a drivers license, the problem is he dosent. he said he has been taking me everywhere I need to go and he said he wont hear of it. I tried to tell him that if he ever got sick or something I would not be able to take him to the hospital, but he wont hear of it.He said I am too old to get one now anyway,but I am only 38 and I dont think that is too old? I was hopeing someone here could give me some advise on a great way to ask him without him getting so upset with me?
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if this is for real....then your getting a drivers license is the least of your problems. Why does your husband have so much control over you?
Do you have friends?
Do you get to go out of the house without your H?
What makes your H wonderful?
Does he physically or verbally abuse you in any way?
Do you have children?
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gosh i was just trying to get some help, and why are you mean to me? do I have friends no I cant I am too busy with everything I need to do and no I cant get out of the house ,I cant drive,and you dont know my husband he tries to do everything for me so I dont have to, and yes we have children 6 . I guess this was the wrong place to ask that question sorry.
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what was mean about my post to you?
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I don't think 38 is too old. My mother got her drivers license when she was 41. She just never had a need for it before that as far as she was concerned. But then again, my father didn't try to talk her out of it and actually gave her driving lessons so she could pass her test.
But I'd like to hear the answers to the questions MEDC asked.
Mark
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you did answer all of the questions except for his physically or verbally abusing you...is there a reason that you avoided that question?
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slow down there and cool your jets MEDC was just trying to get some back ground......6 children wow...I give you snaps girl.....I think what we worrys about is if your husband is very controlling.....I know if I had 6 kids with all there activities......2 parents would need to be available to help get them around and if there was a medical emergency and he wasn't around.....I couldn't sit by and wait for him to get there. He should not "do it all" marriage is 50/50.
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people that do "everything for you" are often times trying to make you dependent on them...under their control. Couple that with your having no friends, not ever getting out without your H and his having an issue with you getting a drivers license...your situation SCREAMS abuse.
Do you want help?
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if this is for real....then your getting a drivers license is the least of your problems. Why does your husband have so much control over you? I just thought that was mean he just takes care of me, and you dont know him, he saved my life when I was very young and I owe him so much for that. anyway I shouldnt have asked the question,I was wrong sorry.
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does he hit you? ever? how much older than you is he? How old are you now? (okay 38)
Last edited by mkeverydaycnt; 11/08/07 02:12 PM.
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Let's back up. I work with abuse victims every day. I have learned to recognize signs that are "markers" for abuse. Your situation is off the charts in terms of these markers. I can help you if you need help. Please try to not be defensive and just let us know what is really going on.
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if this is for real....then your getting a drivers license is the least of your problems. Why does your husband have so much control over you? I just thought that was mean he just takes care of me, and you dont know him, he saved my life when I was very young and I owe him so much for that. anyway I shouldnt have asked the question,I was wrong sorry. Sweetie you have given him your love and 6 beautiful children....you don't OWE him anything. What would happen if god forbid he passed away and you were TOTALLY dependant on him? You need to have some independance and strength....you have 6 children who would look to you if something happened to him. It's not wrong for you to ask the question....just be prepaired for opinions.....some you may not want to hear....maybe because they don't agree with your husbands point of view.
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okay, so you got married when you were 15? How old is your H now? How did he save your life? How old were you when you met him?
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why is everyone always saying abuse I hate that word and it is like everyone just wants to scream abuse to get out of a marriage .doesnt anyone even remember their vowes and dont you think if someone did something rilly rilly good for you that you would owe them something rilly big and as far as my age I am 38 and he is 49
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Okay...right off the bat...he was 26 years old marrying a 15 year old?
You still have not answered the question about abuse. Does he hit you? How old were you when you first had sexual relations with him?
Do you reside in the United States?
Is there any chance he is sexually abusing any of your children?
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I was hopeing someone here could give me some advise on a great way to ask him without him getting so upset with me? I thought the reasons you gave him were good ones, Yankee. You said if anything happened to him you would need to drive. That is a good reason. Not one that would cause upset. You also have 6 children and will very, very likely need to drive them all over the place as they get older and involved in after-school activities. In fact you will be expected to be a regular teenager taxi service. Keep talking and posting. We''ll figure out a way to get you that drivers license. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
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oh my gosh he would never hurt our children, and all of our kids are grown up and moved out married with their own children. And yes I know I was young when We met I was 13 but I was very mature for 13 not a child at all, and yes we live in the US we live in South Carolina
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He saved your life and now you're giving him yours. IMO, him "doing everything for you" isn't helping you unless you're disabled in some way. Life is waiting for you outside your front door.
You obviously want to get a driver's license. Why? If you say he's not controlling you and he's such a great guy, then why not spend the rest of your life depending on him? It doesn't seem to bother you that much.
What's the purpose of the driver's license? In case he gets sick? Well, that's our point right there. That's why it's important for people to be independant. It's why kids grow up and leave their parents home and go out on their own... because depending on someone for the rest of your life isn't feasible.
Does he know you even posted this question here? I bet he'd be ticked if he knew....
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did you have sexual relations with him when he was 24 and you 13??? Do you realize that is considered rape?
at 13 you are a child...no matter how mature you THINK you are.
So, once again...does he hit you? And if so...how often and for what?
Do you ever feel like you deserve to be hit?
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Are you Really Rosie, or are you Rosie Real?
I'm sorry but your post just smacked of the novel, Rose Madder.
I think you should read it. Is your H's name Norman? Is he a police officer?
I'm serious, though. Read it.
Oh, and the DL thing? My great-aunt didn't get hers until after my uncle passed away. I think she was in her 60's then.
Charlotte22
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Attorney totally ROCKS!!
7/17-Court again, Shiny rules!
7/22-OWH temp hearing, Shiny kicks butt again!
12/11-Mediation; Gray won't budge, we are now headed for trial
Shiny="A Dynamic Force of Epic Proportions"
Shiny WILL win!! No doubt, Sugah!
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