well I guess you are right I should be happy and just not worry about driving, I probably wouldnt know where to drive anyway. I should not have even asked.sorry everyone

no one said that.....don't read into things

what we have said it that YES you need some independance

second of all it is a little worry some that a 24 year old got involved with a 13 year old.....if a girl ever tried that with my son first thing I would have him tell her is that mom has a shotgun. Did he take you from an abusive home or something is that why he's such a hero to you?

Yankee:

There is a lot going on here, not just a driver's license issue.

If you need help, please don't be in a hurry to discard the advice on this site.

Bottom line: You need the capability to assume all the responsibilities of an adult. If your spouse agrees to still do them for you, that is fine, but he should not keep you from learning how to do them. That is not helpful, but being in control of you.

What if he can't do something because he is busy? What if you need to go to the emergency room? What if something happens to him?

You have an obligation to learn all things related to being an adult, and he should support you, not hinder you.

Ask yourself this question, why would a loving spouse want to hinder my freedom?

MEDC is a very caring person, albeit might appear as blunt sometimes, but very caring and well intentioned. I can assure you of that. The care is from other people here.

People are only trying to help you.

Abuse is a strong word, I agree. But control of a spouse can be a form of abuse. It's not physical but psychological. I'm not saying your H is abusive or controling, but I do see some signs of control as others have seen in your posts. Creating dependence in one's spouse is a way to control them.

BTW, my own mother got her drivers licence at 40, so it's definitely not impossible. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Driving is fun, it's a good thing to go for a ride, listen to the radio/ed and relax. Especially if you can avoid the 85 mph speedway freakway.

You should be able to drive. If your H is as nice and caring about you as you say, he will understand that it is something you have always wanted. A secret dream of yours. To be able to drive.

Try that one on him.

And keep posting. You remind me of someone in a book, too. I'm glad you are here.

So you are 38 now...married 23 years...taking you to 15 when you got married.

You've had 6 kids and they are ALL out the home, married with kids.

It's impossible...unless you had quadruplets.

This MUST be a polygamy situation and Marriage Builders is likely irrelevant.

Her husband should be turned into the authorities...he was (and remains) a child molester.

Mr. Wondering

*Mdec...Polygamy explains why she was so defensive

If you became involved with this man at 13, there are much bigger problems here than obtaining a drivers license.

Do you have any family around?
What were the circumstances surrounding the beginning of your contact with the person you are married to?

I am sorry, from what you have already described here, it sounds like you are caught in a cycle of abuse. A 13 year old getting involved with an adult is not a "relationship"... If that is indeed the case, he is a sexual predator.

OMG, I missed this. You are right it is technically and mathematically impossible

oh man you all read alot into everything I had my first child at 14 boy had my twins 10 months later and when I was 16 I has my last baby, we took in my oldest sisters 2 when they were 14 and raised them all and we are not a pologimist (probably not spelled correctly) and my husband saved my life he took me from a horrible situation,we dont speak to my family now or his so we only have each other

so was I right...he took you from an abusive home.......or did the situation turn bad because both your parents didn't want you two invovled together?

Can we just help her get her drivers license?

It is not technically impossible to have 6 kids starting at 15 and for all of them to be out of the home 23 years later. Especially if they left home and married young too.

Child marriages are not that uncommon in SC. Especially rural SC.

She says he is not abusive, whether or not that is true, she still has to start somewhre.

Her drivers license is a very good start IMO.

And for the record, I would kill a man who laid a hand on my 13 yo. But apparently her parents didn't give a rats patooty.

Yankee,

Just a little advice about this board. You are getting defensive, because some here are jumping to unfounded conclusions ... you are not alone.

Check out Sadwife's thread from yesterday:

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/sho...e=0#Post3330855

She left the board after ONLY ONE DAY over baseless accusations and erroneous assumptions. Just read the thread and some of the advice at the end about how to deal with some of the more over-zealous posters here and you will get the help you seek without having to deal with other the BS.

However, you may have posted your question in the wrong forum as I haven't seen any mention of infidelity in your post. Here in the infidelity sections, its pretty easy to assume the worst, as a lot of us are living through the "worst" that we've experienced right now. You may get more support and better advice in one of the less "stessful" forums.

Good Luck to you, and I hope you get your DL soon.

where have I seen this kind of responding before...

oh yeah.... I remember now. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

this is pathetic. Seriously. People come here for help, the majority tees off into them about crap they have NO idea about... and then the group walks away with egg on their faces and the new poster runs away.

does ANYONE remember how to ask questions about things BEFORE you draw conclusions?

wow first a yankee and now a patriot....we have a theme goin people... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

Weaver..where did she say he doesn't hit her?

And it doesn't matter if it is common or not...it is rape by ANY definition.

MYREV...shaddup

I googled yankee_29164 and had a few interesting hits.

A person with that same screen name is a new member at a polygamist web site:

www.4theFamily.us

That makes a little sense based on the description.



THIS WAS PASSED ON TO ME BY ANOTHER MB'ER.

She wants to get a drivers license. Is it okay for a rape victim to get a drivers license? Is it okay for her question to be answered?

Weaver ... are you really as clueless as you are coming across with this situation?

"Unfounded conclusion"?????

So does that place you firmly in the camp of it's OK for a 24 year old man to have sex and impregnant a 13 year old and a 15 year old?

I didn't think so.

23 years later and he's still reaping the "rewards" of saving his wife's life...and she better not forget it.

Her husband is her capture.

Why isn't this child molester in jail?

Mr. Wondering

Well apparently.

How is it helpful to put her on the defensive and run her off?

Everyone on this board knows it is rape, especially me.