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Marriage Builders Forums Our Archives Archived Read-Only Posts Inactive: General Questions tattoo during husband affair

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tattoo during husband affair #1968159 11/08/07 04:51 PM
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3 L ladynette50 Junior Member
ladynette50 Junior Member L Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3	During my husband's affair in 2004, he got a tattoo with the OW initial on it. The letter just happens to be the initial of our last name also and he vows that's what it represents. I don't believe him and want it gone! I'm I asking for too much because otherwise he has been a changed man.

Re: tattoo during husband affair ladynette50 #1968160 11/08/07 04:58 PM
Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County B believer Member
believer Member B Joined: Sep 2003 Posts: 27,069 San Diego County	If he is a changed man, I would forget the tatoo. How is everything else going in the marriage?

Re: tattoo during husband affair believer #1968161 11/08/07 06:26 PM
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3 L ladynette50 Junior Member
ladynette50 Junior Member L Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3	Good. Forgetting the tattoo is very hard because it's a constant trigger when I see it. And it is in a place that is very visible. He's agreed to have it removed but keeps delaying going through with it.

Re: tattoo during husband affair ladynette50 #1968162 11/08/07 06:32 PM
Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334 T ThinkingOfMyKids Member
ThinkingOfMyKids Member T Joined: Sep 2007 Posts: 334	Quote He's agreed to have it removed but keeps delaying going through with it. Make it is a 'fun thing' to do. I had one covered with another instead of removed. Having one done is painful enough, redoing hurts too, I can only imagine having one removed must REALLY hurt. So... my suggestion would be to plan a day of just the 2 of you doing care free fun stuff. He's a changed man and he's sgreed to have something done about it (I am having a hard time believing it stands for your last name). So if he's agreed... why not make it PART of the care free FUN day for two? If he can have it covered with something else, and you could get something too. try to make it so you are both taking an ACTIVE role in it... to move FORWARD, not trying to "erase the past" so to speak.... ...a thought anyway. TOMK

Re: tattoo during husband affair ThinkingOfMyKids #1968163 11/08/07 06:46 PM
Joined: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,424 Sheet Creek D Dobie Member
Dobie Member D Joined: Feb 2003 Posts: 4,424 Sheet Creek	Quote If he can have it covered with something else, and you could get something too. try to make it so you are both taking an ACTIVE role in it... to move FORWARD, not trying to "erase the past" so to speak.... Exactly what I was thinking. Me - BS DDay 1 (Multiple affairs while overseas) - Feb 2003 DDay 2 (AdultFriendFinder Profile) - April 2007 Seeing a counselor. I think we have him stumped.

Re: tattoo during husband affair Dobie #1968164 11/09/07 10:46 AM
Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3 L ladynette50 Junior Member
ladynette50 Junior Member L Joined: Nov 2007 Posts: 3	thanks for all your responses. I'll consider the covering idea. We are Deacons in the church and I don't want a tattoo on my body which was what I thought his belief was also until all this. I understand from investigating that it will take a number of treatments to remove so I will suggest the covering of the letter with him and l don't worry about the rest of the tattoo of Cancer sign. I have been through so much and just want closure finally to all this nonsense.

Re: tattoo during husband affair ladynette50 #1968165 11/09/07 10:53 AM
Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,530 R Rock__ Member
Rock__ Member R Joined: Dec 2006 Posts: 1,530	My wife had a tattoo which sort of lead to an affair (by her showing it to OM3). During her affair she got another one in a suggestive area. SHe says that she thinks it's sexy. To me though it is justa reminder of her affair and perhaps that some of it was done for OM3 or at least her mindset and lifestyle at the time. I guess right now I knd of just pay no attention to it. It certainly has lost all or any "sexiness" to me. Married 23 yrs WW-46 Me- 47 DD18 DD11 Dday #1 - Oct. 8 2006 Too many other D-Days to remember

Re: tattoo during husband affair ladynette50 #1968166 11/09/07 10:54 AM
Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 2,197 J Jean36 Member
Jean36 Member J Joined: Sep 2005 Posts: 2,197	You reminded me of something my WH did after D-Day. He wanted to take our wedding bands, have them cut and rewelded. He wanted to have a scar on the bands, but have them be intact again. I agree that you should find a way to make the tattoo part of you and your marriage. Come up with a way to doctor up the tattoo so that it has special meaning to your new commitment. Me-41 BS (FWS) DH-41 WS (FBS) 2DD's- 10 and 12 Married 15 years Separated for 2 years after my A Reconciled for 1 year before his A D-day for his A 8/23/05 WH moved out 9/16/05 Divorce final 1/23/07 Affair ended or month or so later My Story

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