I'm sure it will have SOME effect on him but it doesn't matter. You didn't do it for the effect. I was just speculating (bad PM!) what he MIGHT think. If it does piss him off? So what? You're standing ALONE fighting for your family (including him) and you do WHATEVER you have to do. Some day he will thank you.

(((SG)))

I don't understand what you mean? Sorry.

I don't like Canadian laws.

I actually don't even want that. I just want my H to come home and work on our M. I just need a chance.

No, I didn't do it for the effect. I am only doing what I need to survive and create a new life for me, the kids and even him. I could come out of this being able to purchase a house and start again. What a nice gift to be able to give to him.

Let say he all nice with the OW and shows her you’re H. Then (hopefully sooner than later) she decides that she's done with him and moves on. I would think that if there is something that can lift the fog right away, this is it.
Now all of a sudden they get to know what rejection is all about.

Am I making any sense?

OK, YOU GUYS!!

Move away from trying to figure out THE ALIEN...they are INSANE..their R with the OP is SICK/DYSFUNCTIONAL...

FOCUS on YOURSELVES...

I repeat FOCUS ON YOURSELVES...THE BEST THAT YOU CAN BE!!

I'll be back later..gotta do my WORKOUT...

I don't want him to understand what this kind of pain is. I just want him to know how much I love him and want a second chance at the M.

Besides he is HER MEAL TICKET. If he shows his lovable, caring, giving side she WOULD NEVER walk away. NEVER. She doesn't work, she just stays at home and caters to his every whim.

DH can't show OW DH because he's a WH. (Sheesh, that was confusing.) The only thing he's showing OW is WHATEVER IT TAKES to get his fix from her for whatever need she is meeting for WH right now. DH is no where in sight.

After my DH came home it was like he was enveloped by this haze or fog... no... this ice... from within to without. This ICEMAN was the person I had been dealing with and that OWs had been dealing with. As he slowly came around, I saw my DH appear. No... that's not quite it...

I know! I know! It's like that cold commercial on TV lately. The guys walking around all grayed out. Then he gets the right medicine and he slowly colorizes back to normal. So that gray thing is what's walking around out there... even with OP.

Exactly..as PM says...

Yes Ma'm. Have a great workout.

NO MORE FOCUSING ON HIM.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My H described it as CONSTANTLY PRETENDING..or his better and favorite term for it...BS..and not the intials...get's tiring... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

Queenie, we should have known that was comming. Thanks Mimi.

Oh yes we should have.

Hmm.. hope you don't mind me lurking about and soaking up some of this knowledge... very helpful for me today.

Thanks Mimi.. you've no idea how much you're helping me too.

Oh please, come on over. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My nerves are so jittery. I just received all the paperwork and I am overwhelmed by this. I want to kidnap him and give him to Steve H. Any idea how I can do it.

I am eternally grateful to Mimi for what she is giving me. And so many others. This so HARD.

Can I really do this? Hit me with the 2 X 4.

(((((Queenie))))

You can do this, because you know you must. I can't even imagine the pain you’re going through. Hang in there, tomorrow will come.

Special prayers for you again tonight. Tap into the Warrior Queen, she'll get you through this.

The WARRIOR QUEEN is on her way out the door at work, over to the gym to work of this shakiness and then fake and bake for some warmth. And then home. This is making me sick to my stomach. How do I know I am doing the right thing or what G-d wants me to? I have prayed for this and I am not getting any answers. Accept when I called up the lawyer today he had lots of openings. I feel like I am jumping the gun before I talk to Steve H., but then when I FOCUS on what's best for ME and MY CHILDREN and MY M. I have to do this, it's the only way to truly protect myself and ensure that WH has no control over me when I go into to Plan B.

I know I CAN do it, I just DON'T want to. I am doing the right thing, YES?

Will you be around later to talk? How are you doing?

I'll be arround Queenie, I'm doing laudry right now and working on the home budget with and without WW.

I getting some guidance on how to deal with my WW expectations that we will be best friends after separation (Once I hit plan B that is).

How are you getting the guidance, from your thread?

I am shaking so bad and can't stop crying. I KNOW this is what I have to do to FOCUS on me. I KNOW. I'm just SAD.

I'm walking to my AA meeting tonight, which is about 2 miles give or take, and my sponsor will be there. She has been reminding me that I am moving forward, but sees this as me moving towards a D. She won't understand that I am doing this to save my M and I'm SCARED it's going to backfire.

I KNOW, I have to find the STRENGTH to go through with this. But there is so much paperwork and I am so unorganized. I don't have all the pieces of information they need and I don't have access to some of it either. Like his pay stubs. I just have the deposits being made.

Tell me what you did for yourself today?

Do what's best to take care of YOU.

There's no BIG RUSH to get this done.

You are panicking.

Calm down.

If your sponsor is saying what you do not need to hear, CHANGE.

TAKE CONTROL, QUEENIE, of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE involved in YOUR LIFE...that's the answer to SELF-CONFIDENCE.

YOU are IN CHARGE of YOUR LIFE.

You don't have to do what ANYONE tells you to do.

Live according to YOUR OWN time schedule.

Seek out others for ADVICE but don't let anyone RULE you.

ok, breathing deep and calming down.

She is doing what she thinks is BEST for ME. But she doesn't buy into that my H is in an active addiction. So I feel alone in my outside world from here. Know what I mean?

Ok, Mimi, SELF-CONFIDENCE. How can I begin to examine what is the right thing to do? If I am taking care of myself, the children and my M. Then I have to think of how to protect us.

Can we think of what I am trying to accomplish in Plan A besides becoming the best person I want to be. And keep me focused on my Plans. That way I can answer questions that are moving me toward my goal of restoring my M.

I know I don't. I just don't know what to do. I don't have to file the papers until after I talk to Steve. I think that's one thing. I can just begin to start gathering information and filling out the forms and praying...praying...praying.

On here is the ONLY advice I really want because out in the real world they want me to dump my H.

So, let's keep me focused in Plan A and this is part of accomplishing Plan A by becoming a woman of G-d. Someone who is strong, confident and capable to handle even the worst situation with dignity and grace. With undying love for her H, and a stand for her M, but also a lioness who is protecting her family, herself and her H.

Is this better thinking?