And that's how it should be.

And that's all we can do because that's what G-d wants us to do.

It's tough, no doubt about it. And we are certainly gaining strength (comfort), but it hurts. One day we won't have this hurt so deep.

One day the good that G-d is creating will be revealed or at least in part and we will live a life beyond our greatest hope or thoughts. I know that's what keeps me going now. My new name says it all... Queenies New Life.

Thanks Chrys, Let's keep working on it and I will look for LilSis' letter.

I LOVE THIS PART! I think you should include it in entirety. In my view, the PBL is a LOVE LETTER and you want to start out talking about the LOVE in your RELATIONSHIP. You want to catch his interest. You want him to continue reading and not run to the shredder!!

Unlike B's WH, my H kept the PBL and quoted part of it back to me when he was working on reconciliation: But, "You said..etc..."



I like this too! Leave off the first sentence of the second paragragh where you talk about HIM..when you say that YOU KNOW how HE FEELS, that is a DJ.



I love this part, too. MAYBE THIS SHOULD BE THE FIRST SENTENCE or included in tht FIRST PARAGRAPH. This BEAUTIFUL STATEMENT is buried too deeply in the letter and may get lost.

Then, BE CLEAR with him. Say: Do not contact me at all and I will not contact you UNTIL ____________.



End stronger...with some SPECIAL MEMORY.

Here's is LilSis' PB thread. I think her draft is on the very first page. This is a thread worth reading BTW.

Lil Sis' Plan B Thread

Mimi, Do I leave in the part of the children or take that out?

How' this?

My dearest WH,

I want to be your wife, in every sense of the word. I want those intimacies that we always dreamed about, to hold you, talk with you, laugh and cry with you, comfort you, as well as share the joy of raising a family with you. Each day that goes by it becomes excruciatingly painful to watch what is happening to our life and marriage, therefore, it is with the saddest of hearts that I must write you this letter. 24 years ago we made a vow to G-d and 10 years ago repeated our vows under the Chupah when we truly became as one. We were so much in love on those two days. The first time when we were young and full of hope and promise and the second time when we were full of making a complete lifetime commitment. We had been through so much and recommitted our love to each other, only it was stronger and deeper because we knew what we were capable of being together.

I’ve worked extremely hard these past couple of months to humble myself before G-d and ask him to create me into the wife, mother, and woman he always envisioned for me. People can change if they are willing to take a long, hard look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for who they are and what they have done. I did that and I’m proud of the person I have become and continue to become because G-d is guiding me.

G-d has instilled in me that we can have a brand new, loving, and completely fulfilling marriage. I believe we can learn from our mistakes, grow from them and with effort and commitment we can begin to slowly rebuild the love that became the foundation of our marriage and start to become a family again, for our sake and our children’s. I believe we can have a marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams. The kind of marriage we both imagined when we said “I do”. I’m not naive; I know there’s been a lot of damage done. It won’t be easy but it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune in the last couple of months to meet many people who have been able to do it.

I’ve suffered tremendous pain from learning about your relationship with OW, dealing with our marriage falling apart and your decision to leave our home. I never once stopped loving you and I have not forgotten what a wonderful man you are. I know you better than anyone else, and I believe in you completely. It is my love and faith in G-d that has given me the strength and hope to go on. But the pain has become too much to bear.

As much as I want you to come home, you have made it clear that you don’t, and as long as you feel this way, I cannot be a part of your life except as the mother of your children, it is simply too painful.

Therefore, do not contact me at all and I will not contact you UNTIL you have a change of heart and decide you want to give our marriage a chance. By giving it a chance, that means, the OW is no longer a part of your life, and you are willing to work out a plan to restore our marriage and make it what G-d envisioned for us all along. The depth of love and commitment to our marriage is something that I have come to appreciate as having always being there and is G-d given as your covenant wife. I am willing to do whatever is necessary, but until that time, please respect my wishes. Should an emergency arise you can reach AB at and he will contact me.

Remember the day that we were in class together and you worked with me to bring down all my walls and you realized how much I truly loved you and had for our whole life. Tap into that my darling, because not only did it always exist, but continues to grow even during this difficult time.

Forever Your Bright Eyes,

I would delete THIS PARAGRAPH.



Change this sentence to: In order to PRESERVE the LOVE that I have left for you, I've come to the decision to no longer have any contact with you until you end your relationship with OW (write her name). Until that time, contact B, etc.
MAKE THIS SHORT AND SWEET....He will know how to reach me.



LOVE, LOVE, LOVE this....

IMO, you're done with the letter once you make these changes...see what others have to say...

I do think it is coming together. Not going to argue with the pros over details-- you are sounding real.

And you did a good job of putting your own personal love story in it, which I think is important.

Man am I all over the place or what! I played hooky on my morning exercise, that must explain it.

Updated version -

My dearest WH,

I want to be your wife, in every sense of the word. I want those intimacies that we always dreamed about, to hold you, talk with you, laugh and cry with you, comfort you, as well as share the joy of raising a family with you. Each day that goes by it becomes excruciatingly painful to watch what is happening to our life and marriage, therefore, it is with the saddest of hearts that I must write you this letter. 24 years ago we made a vow to G-d and 10 years ago repeated our vows under the Chupah when we truly became as one. We were so much in love on those two days. The first time when we were young and full of hope and promise and the second time when we were full of making a complete lifetime commitment. We had been through so much and recommitted our love to each other, only it was stronger and deeper because we knew what we were capable of being together.

I’ve worked extremely hard these past couple of months to humble myself before G-d and ask him to create me into the wife, mother, and woman he always envisioned for me. People can change if they are willing to take a long, hard look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for who they are and what they have done. I did that and I’m proud of the person I have become and continue to become because G-d is guiding me.

G-d has instilled in me that we can have a brand new, loving, and completely fulfilling marriage. I believe we can learn from our mistakes, grow from them and with effort and commitment we can begin to slowly rebuild the love that became the foundation of our marriage and start to become a family again, for our sake and our children’s. To have a new incredible marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams is within our reach. The kind of marriage we both committed to when we said “I do” each time. I’m not naive; I know there’s been a lot of damage done. It won’t be easy but it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune in the last couple of months to meet many people who have been able to do it.

I’ve suffered tremendous pain from learning about your relationship with OW, dealing with our marriage falling apart and your decision to leave our home. I never once stopped loving you and I have not forgotten what a wonderful man you are. I know you better than anyone else, and I believe in you completely. It is my love and faith in G-d that has given me the strength and hope to go on. But the pain has become too much to bear.

In order to PRESERVE the LOVE that I have left for you, I've come to the decision to no longer have any contact with you until you end your relationship with OW. Until that time, contact B, at. He will know how to reach me.

By giving it a chance, that means, the OW is no longer a part of your life, and you are willing to work out a plan to restore our marriage and make it what G-d envisioned for us all along. The depth of love and commitment to our marriage is something that I have come to appreciate as having always being there and is G-d given as your covenant wife. I am willing to do whatever is necessary, but until that time, please respect my wishes. Should an emergency arise you can reach AB at and he will contact me.

Remember the day that we were in class together and you worked with me to bring down all my walls and you realized how much I truly loved you and had for our whole life. Tap into that my darling, because not only did it always exist, but continues to grow even during this difficult time.

Forever Your Bright Eyes,

How about this for fixing up the ending?

Ok, made that change....

My dearest WH,

I want to be your wife, in every sense of the word. I want those intimacies that we always dreamed about, to hold you, talk with you, laugh and cry with you, comfort you, as well as share the joy of raising a family with you. Each day that goes by it becomes excruciatingly painful to watch what is happening to our life and marriage, therefore, it is with the saddest of hearts that I must write you this letter. 24 years ago we made a vow to G-d and 10 years ago repeated our vows under the Chupah when we truly became as one. We were so much in love on those two days. The first time when we were young and full of hope and promise and the second time when we were full of making a complete lifetime commitment. We had been through so much and recommitted our love to each other, only it was stronger and deeper because we knew what we were capable of being together not matter what adversity we had faced. You and I together faced whatever came our way together and succeeded because we are meant to be together as husband and wife.

I’ve worked particularly hard these past couple of months to humble myself before G-d and ask him to create me into the wife, mother, and woman he always envisioned for me. People can change if they are willing to take a long, hard look in the mirror and hold themselves accountable for who they are and what they have done. I did that and I’m proud of the person I have become and continue to become because G-d is guiding me.

G-d has instilled in me that we can have a brand new, loving, and completely fulfilling marriage. I believe we can learn from our mistakes, grow from them and with effort and commitment we can begin to slowly rebuild the love that became the foundation of our marriage and start to become a family again, for our sake and our children’s. To have a new incredible marriage based on trust and honesty where we both feel safe sharing our innermost thoughts, feelings, fears and dreams is within our reach. The kind of marriage we both committed to when we said “I do” each time. I’m not naive; I know there’s been a lot of damage done. It won’t be easy but it can be done. I’ve had the good fortune in the last couple of months to meet many people who have been able to do it.

I’ve suffered tremendous pain from learning about your relationship with OW, dealing with our marriage falling apart and your decision to leave our home. I never once stopped loving you and I have not forgotten what a wonderful man you are. I know you better than anyone else, and I believe in you completely. It is my love and faith in G-d that has given me the strength and hope to go on. But the pain has become too much to bear.

In order to PRESERVE the LOVE that I have left for you, I've come to the decision to no longer have any contact with you at all UNTIL you end your relationship with OW and give us another chance. I will not talk to you or see you. Contact B in order to reach me. I believe that we can work out a plan to restore our marriage and make it what G-d envisioned for us all along. The depth of love and commitment to our marriage is something that I have come to appreciate as having always being there and is G-d given as your covenant wife. I am willing to do whatever is necessary, but until that time, please respect my wishes.

Remember the day that we were in class together and you worked with me to bring down all my walls and you realized how much I truly loved you and had for our whole life. Tap into that my darling, because not only did it always exist, but continues to grow even during this difficult time.

Forever Your Bright Eyes,

Mimi - It's still not perfect for me. I want to think about it as a love letter and see if there is anything to change. I feel like I have to hit home the point that i want to make him the most important person in my life or something to that effect. This is crucial for me. Any suggestions. It's close but not perfect yet.

Next to do is the goodbye box. How much should I put into it?

I feel that your love for your H is VERY EVIDENT in your letter!

I also need to tie into the fact that my H stood up to his parents to fight for me to marry me. Or should I leave that alone.

Ok.... I just realized that this may be the last love letter I ever get to send to him. I saved all the ones I saved from the very beginning.

Oh Mimi, I love him so much. How can he just give up and not give me a chance to make it right. I know it's the ADDICTION. I HATE THIS.....

I REALLY THINK YOUR LETTER IS FINE!!

You spoke about how SPECIAL your MARRIAGE is to YOU!!

OK.... I'm just nervous it's not perfect. But then again, I just have to give it to G-d as well, don't I.... and have FAITH it will be ok no matter what, right?

settle for ALMOST PERFECT..like me..just kidding..I'm in a SILLY MOOD today...

QNL,

I am so lovin' your new name, girl!!!!

And so is tst!

Thank you. SMB - I honestly can't remember if you wrote a PBL or not. Did you?

It's funny I got an email today from the lacrosse board saying I was the email queen. LOL..

If they only knew.

And why is the GODDESS in a silly mood today?

I was about 2 weeks from Plan B when tst approached me to reconcile.

BUT I had pretty much gone Plan B as much as possible. But due to certain circumstances, I had to wait another couple weeks for some closure of issues.