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Nothing's gonna happen to me...I was trying to say that I'm not going anywhere...
GOOD

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Be cordial with him..talk to him over the phone..when he calls you, etc...nothing very special...
Should I set up the ecard to be sent on his AA birthday but making it known I created it now since I new I wouldn't be around? Or should I let him know beforehand what the date is?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Should I set up the ecard to be sent on his AA birthday but making it known I created it now since I new I wouldn't be around? Or should I let him know beforehand what the date is?


I wouldn't send him an E-Card at all. He clearly doesn't value his AA birthday. He's living with an addict.


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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He clearly doesn't value his AA birthday. He's living with an addict.
Not to mention he is an ADDICT as well.

How should I handle the cell phone?

Last edited by QueeniesNewLife; 01/31/08 12:06 PM.

BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Sorry...I don't know what the cell phone issue is..I must have missed that along the way..


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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He continues to be on our cell phone plan and I am paying for it. Obviously when I go to Plan B he no longer gets to be on that plan and I need the phone back.

I'm not sure of the timing. Do I speak with him about it when I hand him the Plan B letter, have the intermediary tell him or what?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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Aren't you paying for it out of the money he gives you for now?

When you get your LSA, everything will need to be separate so wouldn't you do that THEN?

I think this can wait.

LSA..PLAN B LETTER...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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LSA..PLAN B LETTER...


gotcha......


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 674
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Hi Skinsgal thought I'd give you my 5cents worth!!
As you've said before,we are alike in that we like to fix and control situations..
I found plan B scary in the beginning cos you have no control over WH only yourself which is a good thing..
I had to get use to no longer "trying to get WH back home by my actions or words"if you know what I mean..

But slowly as you gain control of your life and have removed yourself from the chaos of the rollercoaster ride,you will start to feel beter.Just keep telling yourself you doing plan B for your own sanity and hopefully to recover your marriage..

Know that I have my D papers,I'm glad I'm in plan B cos WH can't freak at me when he sees my lawyers response!!Ha,Ha


BS;ME43,WH45
DS19,DS16
DDay:6Dec06
WH left12Dec06
DIV:3Dec08
WH marries OW 21days later!







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I had to get use to no longer "trying to get WH back home by my actions or words"if you know what I mean..
I do know what you mean.

I want this ride to be over. I feel like I am gambling with the most important aspect of my life, well second... and there isn't anything I can do but just let G-d have it. I have come to terms with it, it saddens me.

I miss him terribly. But there is nothing more for me to do. He is indifferent or simply doesn't care and I'm tired of being cut and bleeding.

I am doing this for my sanity. I just am worried it's for the rest of my life. But fortunately I can remember, I only have today.

How are you doing? You have been quiet lately.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
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Hi Queenie!! (JT waving)

I have been catching up on your thread when I can the past couple of days-but it's been too busy with work to post (grades, new semester, new students, crisis of the moment).

I have been praying for your friend and you and your boys when I read about the tragedy and all that you are going through right now-and know that you have been in the very loving and capable hands of the MB family.

I will be back later tonight. Just wanted you to know I'm still around.


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

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Hi JT,

I bet you must be swamped. I will look for you later tonight.

I appreciate all the prayers I can get. I seem to be struggling, but working through it.

Looks like Plan B is on the horizon.

I miss you girl....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Hey there Queenie,

How goes the reading in Numbers?

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Knock Knock...

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The joke works better if you ask the question there Queenie...

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lol

It goes rough in Numbers. Got any wisdom on how to read it?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 6,643
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What a day. After spending much of it concentrating on my job for a change. I really love my job so much. I went to IC. She is just not supportive of my M and just says for me to move on and just realize he isn't ever coming back. That hurt, deeply.

She just doesn't buy this ADDICTION concept at all, in fact most people don't. That's what is so frustrating, I don't have people in my world to talk to except on here. Have I told you all how grateful I am that you are in my life and haven't given up on me.

But before I left for IC, my MS called me to BRAG about his SENIOR portfolion. THIS IS A HUGE DEAL. He got 187 out of 200, and he did it on his own. I have to say there is a twinge of sadness that WH isn't around to be a part of this amazing success, but he isn't.

This is so incredible. He is my child who I could have lost as a human being. Literally many years ago if someone had called to tell me that he had killed someone, I wouldn't have been surprised. He had that much anger inside him and it was because of me, his dad and the school district we NEVER gave up. Well dad did, at least almost 2 years ago, but I didn't and now he gets to reap the benefit of all the hard work he has done in his short life to go from such an angry young man to the most amazing child who is caring, giving, loyal and successful.

Thank you G-d.... You have blessed me with this child so much. Wow.....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Well the first 8 chapters are pretty much just descriptions of things like who did what in preparation for the dedication of the tabernacle. Then in chapter 9 we see the celebration of Pesach. But in chapter 9 we also see how the Lord Himself led the people and gave them daily direction for their lives and travels. When it was time to leave a place, the Lord, who would cover the tabernacle was with a cloud by day and fire by night, would leave His place above the tabernacle and when He descended at night it meant it was time to camp.

In chapter 10, God gives Moses and Aaron a way to communicate with the entire nation at once using the silver trumpets. and then, the people pack up to leave the place where they received the Law. And Moses convinces his father in law to join them on the journey.

Then in chapter 11 we get to the story of how the people were complaining and grumbling about how bad they thought they had things. The Lord got so angry that he appeared as fire at the edge of the camp and some were consumed by his all consuming fire. But Moses pleaded with the Lord and the fire died down.

Then in 11:4 we begin the story I related the other day about the quail. So why not begin there and read that story and we'll talk about it a bit? Then we can read 12, 13 and 14, then jump to 19, 20, 21 and 22-24 and the important story in 25.And of course we can end with 31 and 32.

So let's start with Numbers 11:4. You give me your thoughts tomorrow and then I'll give you mine. How would that be?

Actually, if you want to cheat and see one application of the story, see my Musings thread on page 7 where I use the story as an illustration.

Be sure of this: The wicked will not go unpunished, but those who are righteous will go free. Prov 11:21

Last edited by Mark1952; 02/01/08 12:42 PM.
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So let's tart with Numbers 11:4. You give me your thought tomorrow and then I'll give you mine. How would that be?
I think this would be awesome.....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Nov 2007
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Hiya Queenie! I like the new name and the new attitude.
So happy to hear you are progressing and getting stronger.

I haven't been on in a while, guess I've missed a lot.

I wanted to ask about your son - as my 16yo dau is going through the same angry, blaming, despressed stage - skipping school, disrespectful, running away, and I am at a loss as to what to do for her!

Where is that magic pill? <sigh>

So any advice on this? What did you do for your son?

My DD is in private counseling and even group adolescent anger management. She tried living with her Dad but ran away 3 days ago, staying with a friend now.

Any help from your experience would be appreciated so much.


"Love the life you live, live the life you love." Bob Marley BS(me)37 WH(37) DS1 Dau from prev M 16 Married 4/06 D-day 6/06, again 11/06, again 4/07 Plan A'd all over the place, then Injunction 10/07, WH moved in with OW WH has own place 12/07 1/08 Plan B
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Queenie,

Hang tough, my friend. Peace is coming.

The week before tst moved out the second time, I was grieving so heavily. I sobbed everyday, most of the day, while he was at work. He would come home late and head to the basement (where he had been sleeping for a few weeks). We had no interaction. That week, I tossed and turned; I flipped and flopped about what to do. I wrote a very long love letter to him, just wanting him to know my heart.

Then I prayed and decided I would not throw my pearls before swine. I did not give him the letter. I instead held onto it.

The day after he left, peace abounded. I had no idea it was coming. But I had a new peace I did not have when he left the first time. I also had a new strength.

I believe that is what lies ahead for you...a new peace and a new strength.

BTW, tst found that letter last month and read it. He was overwhelmed with the love in the letter and sobbed as he read it. I am glad the time came for him to hear those words. (I am in no way comparing this with your Plan B letter; just sharing how much I rejoice that the time did come.)

When is Plan B letter going to be delivered? We WILL be here for you.


Happily married to HerPapaBear



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