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Your meeting with your WH was just so AWESOME that I can't possibly respond to ALL that was WONDERFUL about what YOU accomplished for YOURSELF and YOUR MARRIAGE.
Then I did ok? I was so worried you were going to slap me upside and down the other. I just did what I NEEDED to do FOR ME. I controlled the conversation and made the points I needed to make.

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Proceed with your PLAN B. I'm more HOPEFUL about the OUTCOME than I was before your meeting...
How come? Besides him being the garden variety.

Of course he is more addicted. He has been living in a dry drunk all these years and he finally got into a drug that could destroy him without being so obvious. Do you really think he will figure it out?

they are unbelievably sick aren't they, those aliens...


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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I think you did just fine too. Good for you for getting your points across. Go back and reread your post. You'll see what we see... Queenie making her stand. Now you just need to proceed with a dark Plan B. What's the status on that by the way?


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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I controlled the conversation and made the points I needed to make.


You most certainly did, YOU MBer's QUEEN, YOU! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I'm hopeful because I got the sense that he was trying to make sure that YOU were still THERE for him IF he NEEDED YOU. I'm not sure if this is CONSCIOUS on his part or if it's just HUMAN NATURE as we know it. I get the sense that he's beginning to FEEL a bit CRAZY in his ALIEN LIFE.

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Do you really think he will figure it out?


We have to have FAITH that GOD will work this out after YOU DO ALL THAT YOU CAN DO and that will be PLAN B.


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I get the sense that he's beginning to FEEL a bit CRAZY in his ALIEN LIFE.
That's for sure. But he believes that they are really on the right track and building a life of honestly, truth and openness. I wanted to puke. I really did.

Can he possible keep this up forever.

Yes, Plan B is my next step. With him getting this new job it gives me the perfect reason for protecting myself and the children.

How did you like the part where I told him I wanted to meet his new employees? I really am going to do that once he starts working for them.

The sad part is that I just talked to someone whose cousin worked for them and was miserable. It wasn't the best job ever, like WH thinks.

He is still trying so hard to convince himself, and you are right, he is desparate for this fix.

I'm sorry I didn't tell him about the LSA then. I really needed the conversation to go this way, I was getting so much information from him and taking the opportunity to lay the groundwork for Plan B. Which is what you told me in the beginning months ago. Remember how you told me to set that up? I did and I will for just a little longer and then I'm gone.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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What's the status on that by the way?
I have a meeting with the lawyer and find out what is the hold up.

I want this done too. I will go back and re read. Thanks.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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That's for sure. But he believes that they are really on the right track and building a life of honestly, truth and openness.


LOL..such crap..my H used to say that FOGTALK junk..TODAY he would be soooo embarassed...

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Can he possible keep this up forever.


ABSOLUTELY NOT...

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How did you like the part where I told him I wanted to meet his new employees? I really am going to do that once he starts working for them.


That was OK. No big deal. I liked it that you SAID it and he agreed more than anything else. You can't do it if you are in PLAN B when the time arises.

I think you were almost PERFECT, QUEENIE..absolutely FANTASTIC..I understand why you didn't mention the LSA..he won't be surprised even though you didn't spell it out for him...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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The only scary part, is that when he goes to work for this company, he will be only 6 miles from home and she will go and visit him all the time for lunch.

All that drama will follow him everywhere. He is boxing himself into a small town with her. When she leaves, she will drive right past him. UGH....


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Let's get the focus back to YOUR NEW LIFE and YOUR PLAN..stop worrying about the particulars of his life..let's put him back into God's hands today...You did YOUR JOB with GOD's LOVING SUPPORT OF YOU...the situation was provided for you to do what you had to do..GOD was in this, Queenie.."Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies"..the affair is your enemy...the EVIL SPIRITS holding onto your H...Let's move forward away from there today, Queenie...


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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I am ALL FOR THAT.

WHAT'S NEXT?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Queenie,

All that you are saying is telling me that you haven't really given it all over to God yet.

If God is in control and wants only what is best for you, who are you to argue with Him? WH might build a new life without you and move on...You might build a new life without WH and move on.

Gideon prepared for battle against Midian with 32000 men and God had him reduce that to 10000. But God told him he still had too many men, so based on how the remaining men drank water from the river, God cut that number down to 300...A battle once planned around having 32000 men was entered into by 300 and God showed how powerful He can be. The strength wasn't in the number or in the men themselves, but in God.

God could have let Gideon take all 32000 men into battle and still performed a miracle, but then the people might not see it as a miracle. They would think that they had won the battle.

Will God save your marriage? I don't know. I do know that God wants to save you...And He wants to save your WH as well. Might be together...Might not be together...But no matter what God chooses for you, it will be the BEST that God has to offer...Not by by your power, but by His.

Mark

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I do know that God wants to save you...And He wants to save your WH as well. Might be together...Might not be together...But no matter what God chooses for you, it will be the BEST that God has to offer...Not by by your power, but by His.


EXACTLY..I A ZILLLIONTH PERCENT AGREE!!


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Hi there Mark,

I missed you yesterday.

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All that you are saying is telling me that you haven't really given it all over to God yet.
I think I would have to agree with you, until yesterday afternoon.

Maybe my words are saying what is in my heart. From the conversation I realized that I was a great wife. In fact an amazing wife. WH did what he did because of things that are wrong inside of him. I didn't cause this, I see that now.

Yes, I am very sad because it hurts, but I didn't cause this. I just loved him the best way I knew how. But now G-d is my life, and he is the one I try to make happy. Not my H.

I love my H, I always have. I didn't realize how much but that's water under the bridge so to speak.

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Will God save your marriage? I don't know. I do know that God wants to save you...And He wants to save your WH as well. Might be together...Might not be together...But no matter what God chooses for you, it will be the BEST that God has to offer...Not by by your power, but by His.
I think I get this completely now.

And one of the reasons is experiencing this house process. I know that G-d is working in my life and when the right situation happens it will. Even though I loved this house and wanted it, I have turned it completely over to G-d. So I am experiencing what that looks like and can now do it with my H.

G-d gave me so much yesterday, I was truly blessed in more ways than I realize.

I just need to concentrate on living my life for G-d. And let him do the rest. I'm in the best hands possible, am I not?

I am on vacation next week any chance we have some Torah dialogue going?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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EXACTLY..I A ZILLLIONTH PERCENT AGREE!!
And I A ZILLIONTH PERCENT AGREE WITH YOU TOO

But I needed the conversation last night to believe it today. Because I am a good person who has an enormous capacity to accept and love someone and G-d has someone planned for me who will let me love them with all my heart and soul and be free to love them.

Not controlled by someone who is unhappy in their own life and takes it out on me.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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G-d gave me so much yesterday, I was truly blessed in more ways than I realize.


YES, INDEEDY!!


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

this was a celebration for MB and my friends as well. I would never have done it without your support.

You know that lady, don't you? And so many others. I still don't completely believe in myself yet, but I am much better about it.

I also have lost almost all the 10 3/4 lbs I gained in one week. I have 3/4 lbs to go as of this morning. So I am officially back to 80 lbs lost. Woohoo!!!


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Aug 2007
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You are SUCH the lighthouse Queenie..

Not just for your WH.. but for guys like me as well <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

I hope you can see now just how SPECIAL you are to GOD and how your life is a shining example of His great work.


Me - 32
DS - 5
DD - 13
DSD - 9
D final 12-8-08
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I hope you can see now just how SPECIAL you are to GOD and how your life is a shining example of His great work.
No, I can't, but that's ok because I need to be humble and just keep doing what it is that is making G-d proud of me.

My ego needs to be far away from here.


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
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Ok, one more thing, at least I hope so.

I think that was continues to surprise me is that his self entitlement to do whatever he wants no matter who it hurts or what destruction it causes is beyond belief. That this happiness is somehow owed to him and that what is right or wrong doesn't matter at all.

Is that normal for the garden variety WW?


BS 52, FWH 53, Married 1-1-84
D-day 5-14-07, WH moved in with OW
Plan A 9 months, DARK Plan B 3-17-08 until 3-2-09
WH and OW broke up 1-09
Started over 7-09
Joined: Dec 2002
Posts: 15,310
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GARDEN VARIETY WS..


I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Ok, one more thing, at least I hope so.

I think that was continues to surprise me is that his self entitlement to do whatever he wants no matter who it hurts or what destruction it causes is beyond belief. That this happiness is somehow owed to him and that what is right or wrong doesn't matter at all.

Is that normal for the garden variety WW?

If WS had a theme song it would surely be called something like, "It's All About Me.. Me.. Me... and Nobody Else" or "I Deserve Whatever My Black Heart Wants". Well, you get the idea.


Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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