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SL:
I admire you for stating your truth without fear. Other things are truly out of our control. I KNOW your husband will look at himself and his behavior in a different light some time, I hope it's sometime soon, not too late after you lost all the love for him.
When my husband was in the fog, my touch would bring him physical stress and he would withdraw, not intentionally, but subconsiouly. But he did try. And he overcome his own "psychological barrier" as he put it, little by little. If he had not tried, we would have stuck there also. But people have to try and without trying, there is no change.
Sometimes certain events need to happen to strike people into actions. Maybe you need to think of doing something else. When I was dealing with my H's withdrawal, I found that when I was more distant and seem to care less, he seemed to come closer and it's like a little dance and that lasted several months. Maybe it's time for you to be cool since you have said you wanted to let him go?? I'm not sure. It's so hard to analyze another human being...
Short blond hair, huh?? That's so cool! How do you like it now? Take care of yourself. You are the one that matters the most to you. It's truly his loss if he losses you and you know that.
Snowy
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{{{{SL}}}}
You can't make someone not live backwards...he said he's waiting to feel something to then choose to do something.
You're no longer living backwards, are you?
I hope your hair comes out...oh, wait...I was gonna say 'okay'...lemme rephrase...
:::insert ornery lookin' smiley face:::
You're gonna look great...good self-care. When is your massage scheduled?
LA
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The hair is blondy blonde in the front and a darker brown underneath. It's HOT! A stark difference from just a week ago, but it's kickin'. I like to mix it up.
Well, ladies, thanks for chiming in on the subject. I can't go backwards. I can't be LESS informed now. I can't undo what I've learned. I have a momentum that will not allow for backstepping very often of very far.
I do love PWC, and would love for him to be happy. Maybe I'm not the one for him to be that with. Maybe he has to drop further to get to his core. Unfortunately, I fear that he will continue down the same path, looking outside himself for the answer. HIs choice, really.
I know that we could have it ALL, if we both walk through the darkness together. He may not trust that.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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This whole process has taught me some valuable lessons. Firstly, I cannot control anyone but myself. THat being said, I must speak up with what is troubling me, walking into the fear of the unknown, not able to control the outcome, but not living with an unsavory situation out of fear. I can't tell you enough how much I admire the choices you are making and the healthy boundaries you are practicing. You are doing a great job. Regardless of what your H chooses, you are a phenomenal lady and I will support you.
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What a TRUE GODDESS you've become..a BLONDE GODDESS at that...
(((((SL)))))
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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PWC still believes that love is just supposed to happen, that you are supposed to FALL in love. He still sounds foggy to me. It's disturbing. I admire your choices, too, SL. And how well you're holding up through all of this. I hope it gets better soon. (((SL)))
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SL, The hair is blondy blonde in the front and a darker brown underneath. It's HOT! A stark difference from just a week ago, but it's kickin'. I like to mix it up. You ROCK,,, you Goddess you!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
BS (me) ExWS -Drac DD 9 DSS 15 D Day 11/06 Divorced 10/01/07
"You Can't Fix Stupid" - My Mom
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Happy Birthday, Froz!
SL - Now I'm thinking of going out and getting my hair professionally colored. Once every three years isn't too indulgent, is it?
LA
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Thanks, LA! PWC still believes that love is just supposed to happen, that you are supposed to FALL in love. Freeloader talk. "We shouldn't have to TRY. It should be effortless or we're wrong for each other." The sad thing about that mentality is who knows just how many relationships one needs to begin and end before they either decide that NO ONE is right for them or that their belief was wrong and they missed the opportunity to bloom where they were planted to begin with.
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SL,
Good luck on your operation tomorrow. I will be thinking of you all day. Let us know how you are when you can. Do what you need to do to recover and don’t rush.
You are an inspiration and a true friend to many here.
There will be a candle lit in Denver tonight.
{{{{{{Good luck SL}}}}}}
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Hey, hey, hey now, Chrisner...
TWO candles in Denver. TWO.
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />
How is it possible that SL, who is nothing CLOSE to a pain in the neck...has one?
:::shaking my head:::
LA
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SL: Same here, wish you best of luck on your operation tomorrow. Focus on good thoughts and good feelings. We will all be thinking of you.
Snow
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SL is now sopping up the coffee from her keyboard after this line from LA... How is it possible that SL, who is nothing CLOSE to a pain in the neck...has one? I can always count on you guys to give me a good laugh. Thanks friends. You are sooooo appreciated. Hopefully, we can get more candles lit and start a BONFIRE!!! Kinda like how my cake looks on my birthday these days. Thank you for the loving support. I'll let y'all know how I'm doing post-op when I can.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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LA, I will put up three. My heating bill came in yesterday anyway and I could use the extra BTU's. SL, this should make you smile: Rainbow
Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It ain’t just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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God Bless you SL!!
I'll be thinking about you tomorrow!!
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />
I made it happen..a joyful life..filled with peace, contentment, happiness and fabulocity.
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Chrisner what a great link!
((SL in my prayers))) with candle lit on East Coast.
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Chrisner, I'm crying, that was just beautiful. What's really strange, is she reminds me of myself, when i was her age. The hair, right down to the missing teeth.
I don't know what it is about kids that just tugs at my heart, but I always have a little tear for every join and pain that I witness with children. Probably because I'm a momma myself, I suppose.
Mimi, thank you my Goddess friend. This Goddess in training is going to keep a happy perspective, thanks to y'all, my family, friends, and YES, my husband.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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Hey SL - just trying to catch up. Saying a prayer for you also.
Divorced on 3/25/2008 but I have primary legal and physical custody of my 2 kids. Plan A Thread Plan B ThreadEphesians 5:25 - Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her
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Candle lite here! Thinking of you!
Rin
A loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge. Thomas Carlyle
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mvg, thank you my comrade in arms. East coast in the HOUSE!!!
Eph, hey there man! It's good to see you back posting. Thanks for the prayers.
Me-BS-38 Married 1997; son, 8yo Divorced April 2009
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