"Our true happiness is found in Jesus Christ."

I totally agree with that Back.

IMHO you may be making a mistake I was stuck in for a long time. I idolized my WH. It has been very hard for me to give up hope that my WXH and I might someday reconcile. I still struggle with false hopes somedays...

It's easy to assume that since you may still feel so strongly in love with your WXH that it is God's will that you someday get back together. I know sometimes people expect God to remove a desire from their hearts, and if the desire does not lessen, they then assume God WANTS them to keep wanting the object of their affection...

I finally came to the realization, after literally YEARS of praying to God to either give me back my husband or else remove my desire for my WXH, that I had made an idol of my WXH. The temptation and desire for my WXH is still there, still a struggle, but now I know it is not God's will for me to want my WXH so much, and that God wants me to lay that desire and temptation down at His feet willingly.

The truth is my WXH is a mere mortal, not a god. And he wasn't even a very good mere mortal and husband anyway. He did not deserve my worship. In fact it was a sin and offense against God for me to place so much importance on trying to keep my WXH.

Now whenever I feel upset or bitter remembering how my WXH chose OW over me, when I remember how rejected and hurt that made me feel, I also think about how analogous that is to how I ignored all the love and companionship I could have had with God during those same days, but I was so focused on wanting my WXH that I failed to accept God's offer of something much better. In effect I was rejecting God for my WH the same way my WH was rejecting me for the OW.

Back, your XH is just a mere mortal and an adulterer.
He is not worthy of your worship.

And besides, he is not even your husband anymore.
You've contorted Christianity to somehow excuse your hope/plan to someday commit adultery with your XH behind his current wife's back. That reveals how important you have allowed your XH to become to you - too important - MORE important than the religion you exploit to justify your sinful agenda.

Let your XH go. Lay him down at God's feet and leave him there. Ask God for forgiveness for the sin of making an idol of your XH.

Edited by meremortal (11/24/07 10:09 AM)

I love your perspective on this, MM..

I once was GUILTY of IDOLIZING my H, too...

Hard to comprehend why he had to go so far as having an affair, though, to get me to stop... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" />

Thanks so much for putting this into words...

Excellent point, Mark.

Back,

I just wanted to add, that marrying Saul's daughter, was an attempt to grab the promised throne from David.

David needed to correct this.

David's sitch does not apply to yours.

~ Marsh

Question for you MW77, I mean <cough cough> BACK.

Have you ever been an OW?

Jo

MW77?

Wow <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> Take a break for a few days and all H3ll breaks loose.....But still this whole thread seems so familiar...where have I read this before....Oh I remember....the defensive chick who thinks I called her a troll....seems I am not the only one she deems as name calling evil person.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />....welp....the can O worms has been opened...congrats.....you have encountered MEDC....you thought I was bad.....Welcome to Armeggedon. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />...beware of the steam vents they do burn and pot holes will develope at ranodom....Enjoy your trip The tour guide will now deflate. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Back, you wrote this on another thread...



"It is not lawful for you to have your brother's wife."

It wasn't lawful, b/c he was committing incest by marrying his brother's W.

~ Marsh

Point #1... I am not here to discuss all the areas of my life that are going "right". Thank you. I was approached by my boss again today. After trying (unsuccessfully to recruit me to manage an agency at around a 6 figure salary, perks, etc.)...

I was told to the head of our division again Wednesday a.m.

Why? Again, wanting me to take a promotion... and are re-fitting the job to try to suit me.

Why? Because I am so highly successful, well-regarded, and well-liked... and am a leader in my company.

I'm discussing here an area of my life in which I am having major problems... and if you never have... why are you here?

Any psychiatrist will tell you that a person needs to be committed when they are not functional in their life.

Your smug attempts at trying to be better than others in "superiority"... only show how low you can go.

Tourguides in hades?

Well, go there if you will.

I am working through, yes you betcha... incredible pain. I've been through hades.

And I'm opening my wounds up... and receiving healing from the Lord.

Since you have nothing worthwhile to add... why are you here

******edit*********

I'm not MW77.

Thanks.

If ever you know who I am, you will be very ashamed. (One would hope.)

I told "D" at work Saturday exactly how I felt... and he didn't think I was "weird"... thanks.

I think that a person types something on here... and people go into hyper critical mob mentality... and become paranoid... make all sorts of false accusations... and are basically worse than anything they think they are "pointing out".

I don't care.

I got healing in my soul from the Lord today.

No matter how "ugly" or "messy" or whatever it is to process incredible pain... God by His Spirit is setting me free.

****edit*********

santa's back

I'm going to continue to post my story.

And, one day, I'm "coming out"... so you can see just who you have treated this way.

Any truly Christian person who has sat here and behaved in a wrong spirit, one would hope, would be deeply ashamed.

But I guess we know Christians by their love anyway.

Oh my...the intrique is killing me!

Now she's coming out!

Wait...is it Ellen?

Exactly what would I be ashamed of? I certainly have been respectful in all my posts to you. I simply asked you a question because you come here supposedly for support, yet you offer no information.

And BTW .... before you deleted your several volatile posts on the "After Divorce" board, you had called certain folks a very offensive name and were cursing and swearing at them. Seems to me that is something a Christian should be "ashamed" of, no?

God Bless,
Jo

[quote]
I'm discussing here************ an area of my life in which I am having major problems... and if you never have... why are you here?

************edit*************


Suggestion: when you condemn someone for "hatred, contempt, slurring, judging, criticizing, throwing stones," it helps your credibility somewhat if you at least wait until your NEXT sentence to practice those very traits by calling other members names. But it looks a little funny - and highly hypocritical - when you do all that in the SAME SENTENCE.

****************edit************

I felt the Holy Spirit touch me in my soul today. I didn't think I could open up this bad of wounding and feel anything but woundedness for quite some time.

The healing is beginning. I'm on the mend. I'm gaining power in the Spirit... it's the love of God.

I was so burned, so weak, so frail... and maybe you want to all jump on the thread by LA Girl and harrass and harrangue those there who like me have experienced panic attacks... and great pain.

Since you are so perfect. And so worthy to pick up stones.

Hit people... kick them while they are down. Bring the mob over to that thread for a while, why don't ya? There are plenty of victims *************to swoop down on.

A person coming out of a lot of pain can only see and absorb what they can see and absorb... one day at a time.

My primary focus has been on what is holy matrimony vs. civil marriage. I was by no means "willing" to come out of withdrawal towards my ex... until I could see in the Word of God that the bond still existed between us. Until I had something to stand on to believe (or to know) it was God's will... and I was "in the right".

So if I "came out" seeing and knowing only that... well, I don't think any of you really know then what it's like to suffer and only be able to see what you see when you see it?

What do you do? Take people who are newly born-again out behind the woodpile at church and beat them up because they don't know what you think they ought??? They don't see things the way you do?

What do you think?

Whatever. You ought to let the Lord do His own work. You're not a panel of judges... if you're truly kids of the King.

All I knew, emotionally, all I had personal capacity to know emotionally... was the Lord called me out of withdrawal in relation to the ex... because, I am firmly convinced, he is still God's will for my life... the bond between my spirit and his by the Spirit still exists.

As I pondered and meditated on it today, I thought like this, "If I was 'on track'... not fallen... not hurt and vulnerable... there's no way I would have sex with someone before marriage... even if they were God's will for my life".

There's the spiritual dimension of marriage... and there is the civil dimension of marriage.

This is all messed up. There's a civil marriage that is not a covenant relationship with God my ex is in, imo. And there's a covenant relationship with me by God my ex is in... but not in civil marriage.

And all the confusion about it (and believe me... when it's you in the midst of a situation... it's a different situation how you think and feel in the midst of it)... anyway, it seems to me both have to be true at all times.

Both the civil and the spiritual have to be right at the same time.

So, course, that means,... really... shouldn't have sex with the ex until after the civil is restored... even though the spiritual level of holy matrimony still exists.

Boy... folks like that think "If only we could resume the inquisitions and beat people up... we'd really have church and straighten things up in the body of Christ!"

Actually, give God a chance to work by His Spirit... especially when dealing with people who have been through a lot.

None of you mean people did anything to "convince me". You only bruised me. Just give the Holy Spirit a little time to heal my soul so I can think past "Point 1"... and I'll pull it together.

*****
**************EDIT*************

More abusive posting. criticize, judge, lash out, show hatred, contempt, make slurs, throw stones, etc., etc., etc...........

iggy! iggy! iggy!

i just remembered i can put people on ignore... lemme add someone...

*****************EDIT************
bye *********8 also.

back, what do you do? Take people who are newly born-again out behind the woodpile at church and beat them up because they don't know what you think they ought??? They don't see things the way you do?

Boy... bet folks like you think "If only we could resume the inquisitions and beat people up... we'd really have church and straighten things up in the body of Christ!"

Since you are so perfect. And so worthy to pick up stones.

Hit people... kick them while they are down.

criticize, judge, lash out, show hatred, contempt, make slurs, throw stones, etc., etc., etc...........

hoisted on her own petard... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> **snort**

Thank you so much for the warning. Now, how can we avoid YOUR profanely rude mouth?


1. "I'm discussing here, ****EDIT***, an area of my life in which I am having major problems... and if you never have... why are you here?"

2. "Oh yeah... to criticize, judge, lash out, show hatred, contempt, make slurs, throw stones, etc., etc., etc.... whatever ***EDIT**** do."

3. ******EDIT***"

4. *******EDIT**************