Hello im new here and just wanted some advice. Im a 23yr old male and have been seperated from my wife for more than a year. She is going to be 24 next month and we got married at age 19, 20. Going into a marriage at such young age was the wrong thing to do. I started drinking and using drugs at the age of 15. I was a good husband when I was sober, but I really didnt think I needed help, she even said it was just a phase I was going through. My drinking and going out ended my marriage, I had a really bad car accident in april 1st 2006 but it didnt stopped me from drinking. When my wife left me on Oct of 06 thats when she turned my whole life around and made me realize what and where I was going to end up if I keept doing those things. She left also because she started to like her co-worker. She saw him as a perfect person. After she left I went back to college, I started working out and bettering my health but still wasnt enough to show her how much I love her. 2007 has been the hardest year of my life not only for me but for my family aswell, its so painfull for them to see me going threw depression and other stuff. I went to jail for 14days in October 14, 07 because I was found guilty for the car accident of April 1st, 06. I had not talked to my wife for a few months so I gave her a call and told me what was going on. Right now I know she goes out on dates, but she has told me that she does not have a boyfriend. Well on the phone call she told me that she needed to know when we would be getting divorced. She wants for the both of us to go infront of a judge and tell him that we both agree to get divorce. I dont want it, I want to save my marriage. I want a second chance but she thinks that im not going to give her the love she deserves, she assumes that im going to go back to my old ways. Im trying my hardest not to give up on my marriage. I belive we all learn from our mistakes. I just want to know if there is still time to save my marriage. She has called me 6 times in the past month and I get nervous and dont answer because I know she is calling about the divorce. She doesnt leave a voicemail so Please anyone, what can I do. She wont forgive me for being a jerk and belives our marriage was never supposed to happend. Any advice would be great. THank you and GOD BLESS...

Well, you have to admit you don't seem like the ideal husband. Drinking, drugs, DUI?, jail time, depressed...what young woman would want to be married to that?

If you end up married to her or not, the thing you need to do is get your life in order. Keep going to college, drop the drinking/drugs, keep working out, and keep it up over a period of time so she sees the changes are for real. That may or may not work, but whether you are with her or not it is the thing to do. She may never forgive you.

I think you might say that you are not going to do anything to pursue a divorce since you have changed your ways and would like to stay married, but if she pursues it you will not do anything to fight it.

If she's called you 6 times, there's probably a reason - she needs the divorce to achieve it. I'd suggest talking about it, being honest without arguing.

Then, if she's still willing to give you a second chance, you need to be willing to make the changes for yourself, not for her, and keep up the changes for a good long while, before she's likely to trust you again. Be patient, and she may decide to come back; if not, you've still improved yourself and created a better life for yourself than you had.

Great, his first response is from a man-hater.

I've 'hated' my husband for about 10 years now. We remained married through many many trials. I have only now decided that having a GOOD marriage is worth it. He has proven to me FINALLY that things will be different.

So yeah, you have time. Just keep up the positive changes.