Don't let that look get to you either.

Just be who you are and love her like you do.

Thanks,

I'm handling well within my head but my heart rips a little more every time I get that look. It's like she there because she feels she needs to if she has any chance of having a relationship with her DDs. I just rely on the hope that somewhere deep inside of her this is registering and will one day be remembered.

I'm just glad the fighting between my WW and my ODD has stopped for now.

I think you better not look at her. You are still new at this. Pretend she is not in her right mind.

This is what I tell myself. This is not my W is it a different person. If I could see a part of my W in there I would feel much better.

You WILL see her again, but not right now. Just go through the motions. I will never forget my ex's cold, cold eyes. He didn't care enough to be angry.

That's it Believer, they just show this glazed look as if they just don't care. Aren't capable of feeling any emotion, because if they do, REALITY.

TMTS,
Believer is the best at saying the A will end. A always end.

I hold onto her words with dear life.

How's the goat?

I can't wait for that day. I hope it happens sooner than later, but I also understand that it can take a long time.

I don't know how I'm going to get arround saying happy new year? It's NOT going to be a happy new year.

Now she's back to being the normal WW, like nothing is going on.

We are here for you.

My mind is wandering to where WH and OW are there alone in their house, cuddling etc devoting themselves to the new year and each other, all the while, its also his anniversary with me.

I wish G-d would let us have a peak at what really goes on so it doesn't eat at us.

I love beleivers post... straight to the point and always helpful.

Oh, just say Happy New Year, and shake her hand or something. You can do this. Like Bob Pure says, its a heros gig.

A heros gig eh?

Ringing in the New Year went off without a hitch. She actually said happy New Year and gave me a couple of kisses. I had to hold back from thinking that this was not my WW but a little glimpse of my W. We played scene it with the kids then watched a dying [censored] Clark. No Drama whatsoever, she actually laid her keen on my leg while I had my hand on her leg. No expectations as this could all be fog and guilt induced.

Our neighbor was having a tough time so she gone over to have a drink and probably a joint with her.

It was a good night for the plan!

Now I must be there for my new friend. Queenie how are you doing? I'll check your stitch.

I'm just sitting here reading Mimi's thread of survival and writing things down.

I am better. I took a hot shower and got down on my knees and prayed to G-d to let me know what he wants me to do. I prayed for him to soften my Pharoahs heart and to help the OW. She is in pain too and I want her to have all the she needs so she will let my WH go.

WH was online a few hours ago, but nothing from him. I am reading about how they are monsters and truly he is. How he could not even acknowledge the game yesterday for me just shows me how gone he is. So, I pray harder for him and ask G-d for his guidance on what he wants me to do.

I'm glad your evening went as it did. Even though it's not our S, I totally enjoy the time I have with WH when I have it. It's so weird how I used to avoid him and now I plan out every chance to be with him.

Glad things went well.

I'll cherish this time together as a family and was able to not worry about tomorrow while doing it. It was truly nice to just have the 4 of us playing together, and more importantly I could see that it made both DDs happy but especially my ODD. She was disappointed that my WW went over to the neighbors. She sees it as her wanting to get out of our faces as soon as she had the chance. I could tell that my ODD was hurt by it, so now we are playing a singing game on playstation, until they get sick of my signing (I don't sign because I'm good...I sign for the love of it) Then we'll switch over to guitar hero.

LOL.

A very special night indeed.

Do you journal?

I've been doing most of that here. I had started a written one but find this more relaxing. Plus you get the bonus of interactivity...if you say something stupid you have friend to bring you back into line.

Commonly referred to as 2 X 4's

And we all need that 2x4 once in a while. I'm just glad I got a few at the beginning (Thanks Mark). He was real gentle about it, but got the point across.

She is off for the next tow days, so I'm the plan into turbo mode.

I'm just glad I made it through the holidays...the next milestone (the one I pray never actually happens) is moving day. I don't know how I will handle that, knowing the mess I have been with her still here.

You will handle it with dignity and grace because you have G-d and everyone on here walking through it with you.

Ask the vets what you could be doing to prepare yourself for that if it happens and what prayers you could be saying.

Be proactive.... not the victim.

But make sure you come here and take care of yourself. How can you stay up as late as you do. What time is it where you are?