It was a nice night out. I was on Plan A turbo mode. Winking, telling her how much I loved her smile, making jokes about the place being too classy for the white trash that we are. Talked allot about her work, and I offered not one anecdote or resolution, just asked questions. Shared desert, it was real nice. At the end of the night she gave me a real nice kiss. I looked so good, I could also most join the GODDESSES (MyRev is probably thinking I am already. LOL). So that leaves me with one Plan A night before the move, then we switch to the Queenie Plan A.

Good show, buddy! I'm glad it was a nice night out together! Any chance of getting more than a kiss? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Unfortunately I don't think so. I had to drive ODD to a friends place, and by the time I got back she had scooted over to one of the neighbours. Not sure which one though.

Hopefully the one that will smack the daylights out of her for acting such a twit... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Mark

PS Sent you mail about the time you were getting to dinner. Check your inbox.

Hi Mark, Please send email to my home address, I'm back online and can't get to my work stuff until morning.

Tmts,

It sounds like it was a nice date. Keep up the good work.

LC

Just wait till morning. I sent it from work and can't get to it till then anyway. But thanks for the heads up on your other account coming back to life. At least I can always be assured that whatever I've sent, you can't see it for some reason <Silly Foreigners> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />

'Tweren't important anyways...

Mark

Easy with the silly foreigner thing... you know it doesn't take much to get Mrs.W. going on us... especially us silly Canadians.

Aaaaawwwww...Mrs W is a cotton-picken-banjo-playin HILLBILLY anyways. Yankees RULE!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

Yeah, but she's one of them southern belles anyways...Now she lives in Michigan...

And she calls Canadians silly?

At least the cars in Michigan aren't all up on blocks... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
Mark

ROFLMAO!!!!!! YEE-HAW!!!

I did the three way conversation with my X and his first exposed affair. It was horrible. I had to hear him ask her if she loved him and her replying yes...

It was supposed to be for him to tell her to get lost, and he did. But it was a charade. I bet they had a good laugh over the call.

Don't do the call. Please.

TMTS,

IN my opinion POSOM is not your target or your concern right now. It is your W, but when SHE decides to walk out that door she is on her own and she NEEDS to feel that. She needs to feel the fact that you and the kids have a life, go do things, joke at the table, argue about homework, etc. while she is NOT there.

She needs to feel the lack of your plan A. The lack of conversations with you. She needs to decide on her OWN to come home. Will OM try and use her? Yup, he sure will and he might succeed. Whose fault will that be? HERS.

Son, MR says he doesn't like the one size fits all of MB,and yet he expects your size and his size to be the same. They might be. But, what is true, is that people miss what they value and often they don't know what they value until it is not there.

What you are not factoring in is that when she leaves, she leaves not only YOU, but the kids, her home, and support from all of you. This is a powerful hammer.

Getting involved in discussion with POSOM is not productive, the man is a liar, a cheat and a low life. What part of his conversation would you believe? None. What part of his conversation will your W want to believe? All of it because if she does not, then that makes her actions even more reprehensible. So dragging them together for a conversation is not a productive thing.

If he wants to help her move, that is between them in my opinion. and frankly I would not be there unless you warn him off. Why? You might not get him to the rink before you pound him, and you might end up with more than a 5 minute penalty and you do have kids that are depending on at least one of their parents to avoid a serious cranial transplant. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

You've done a lot. You have grown a lot. YOu have held the door open to your love, your life, your home. I don't think you need to hold the door open to her apartment and help her move in.

Just my thoughts.

God Bless,

JL

Thank was a great post, JL- I love to read your stuff. I am so glad you still drop in on us newbies from time to time and share your wisdom with us.

TMTS, I agree completely, BTW. I know you'll do the right thing. It's hard to keep from trying to save the people we love from themselves, but sometimes that IS what needs to happen.

What is the Queenie Plan A? I think I am honored. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Thank you JL...

Mark

JL

Good post. Perhaps it is the time to let go especially after last nights date. Plan A will have a strong finish in that case. Remove or shy away of any temptation of a Plan FU - not a good idea to risk or sabotage the efforts of the stellar Plan A.


TMTS

Did she ever bring up the LSA again? You have done such a good Plan A in this fight, that either way this goes you are a winner.

Good morning folks,

As much as the call might have some entertainment value to it, she can't even get a hold of him to set something up, so it's really mute point.

I feel I've done a decent Plan A and now she must experience life without me. I'm thinking along the same line JL (Correct me if I am not interpreting this right), going to a modified Plan B, meaning that I run a Plan A based on her initiating the contact. I don't call her at all, yet when she needs something I'm right there. I make sure the neighbors see me doing stuff with the kids and by myself. Even if it's as simple as going for a walk with the kids. And most importantly I get back to my workouts, I've stalled on the weight loss and I am starting to feel a little sluggish.

Please let me know if this adjusted Plan A/B sounds out of line. Just to recap.
-No PBL
-Contact OK, but not initiated by me.
-Plan A upon her contacting me.
-No intermediary.

When she went over to the neighbors last night she brought her phone and sent me a text saying thanks for dinner tonight, I'll be home soon. Then when she did come in I was heading up to bed so I said good night, of which she said thanks for dinner again, and said it was a nice night. I responded with "I hope we can do it again" then headed upstairs, I looked over and she and she was tearing up.

I was talking to my F last night and he brought up something I wanted to pass by all of you. Does anybody buy into the notion that she can be doing the move just to save face? She has told everybody that has been exposed that she is moving, so to not do it now makes her look bad. She has a 3 month lease which will need to be paid for wither way, so she goes for a few weeks, she's now done her move, then she calls wanting to start the reconciliation process. My F thinks that she will fall very hard as soon as the realization that OM will not be around to meet her needs, and also thinks tat she is really suspicious of his intentions already, but must make the move to prove to herself that she can do it.

Myself I will not dwell on it, I have a basement to gut and redesign into a mini home theater. (I figure if I wait and she comes back, this project will be pushed so far down the list it will never happen, so what the he!!, do it first.)

Hi Queenie,

Yes you should be honored. You have had a good model on how to Plan a with the WS out of the house. I am waiting on feedback on presenting a similar Plan as you did or to modify it to no contact initiated from my side. I'm thinking that in my case the NC from my side might be more effective leading up to Plan B.

TMTS,

It sounds like things are going exactly as other situations, there is no reason to beleive the MB principles are not working exactly as they have in so many cases.

JL has some very good advice here. Beware the OM, he can always turn things around and get the law involved. If things were to ever get violent you have a major motive here and the court will tend to beleive baser instincts prefailed (because it is what many of us would do in your case).

But MB principles sometimes go against baser instincts, and that is what is tough. To be nice and sweet to someone that is ripping your heart out, and then to turn around and be stone cold silent when you want to beg and plead...

But these work. And although your situation is different (they all are slightly different) trust that folks on here can see things in your post that lead us to give the advice we give.

I like the idea of modified Plan B, but lets call it a modified Plan A, and make plans for a Plan B in future...my guess is you won't need to go there. I think WW is turning already, be there as a shoulder to cry on when she gets dumped hard...she knows it's coming...

I think your F is right on. And you have a gut instinct about this (and so does WW, that's why she only went for a 3 month lease...)