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Maggie,
Be advised that SwingDancer is engaged to marry one of her ADULTERY PARTNERS...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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LA is actually capable of giving very good advice - if you can decipher it - but some people at least do avoid threads started by her so it's more generic if you like and you will get a wider range of opinion by having your own thread as you have done.
That is of course just my opinion.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Maggie - just to clarify - the man I am engaged to I did not meet until I had left my husband and we had been separated for 6 months. I never knew him before that. As a technicality, since I was still married at that time, some people would call this adultery. But I didn't leave my husband to be with this man.
Hang in there. I hope all goes well for you. I am glad you are in IC.
Swing Dancer
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Maggie - just to clarify - the man I am engaged to I did not meet until I had left my husband and we had been separated for 6 months. I never knew him before that. As a technicality, since I was still married at that time, some people would call this adultery. But I didn't leave my husband to be with this man.
Hang in there. I hope all goes well for you. I am glad you are in IC.
Swing Dancer Well SD, lets continue to clarify shall we? You were separated from your husband due to your other adulteries... From dictionary.com: adultery: voluntary sexual intercourse between a married person and someone other than his or her lawful spouse...That definition fits what you did SD...It's NOT just a technicality...Married IS Married... Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Ok guys, Bedroom is lit with candles and there is an MB EN questionnaire on his pillow. Tom Yum soup is on the stove. (One of his faves.) I'm a strong critical thinker and am willing to hear out anyone. That includes swingdancer and LA. It does not include Bestadvisor or Back. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I appreciate having people's agendas or backgrounds clarified. Thank you for that. Excellent start to a Plan A Maggie! Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Hey what is Tom Yum soup Maggie? Recipe?
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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not to mention swing-dancer's BH (who she cheated on multiple times) was looking towards reconcilliation while they were separated but her pesky new relationship didn't lead her to want to try that.
See Maggie - not all advice is equal.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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OK Maggie - thankyou for your honesty. I would view this differently to SwingDancer and am happy to continue posting to you. Many people do this and while it is not wise, it's not something I have an issue with as such and am still happy to help you.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Agree with BK Maggie...
Mrs. W
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Most IC's would warn you to have a break to heal from a previous relationship before starting a new one. Dr Harley says 1 year break for every 5 years of marriage.
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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Hi Maggie,
I have a question about the folks who 'supported' your adultery:
"I rewrote my history to everyone and had my friends, colleagues, and family cheering me on (some of them even expressed awe at what a "cougar" I was. *shudder*)"
I'm curious as to what your relationship with them is now?
Also, I liked the "clue-by-4's" terminology - clever LOL
Oh and I'm pretty sure SwingDancer told us that the man she is involved with now is still married...
Thanx for your honesty regarding your divorce from WXH and dating your current husband timeline.
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I think that you should do the questionnaire too...Quid pro quo and all...Dr. Harley says that complaints are GOOD, criticism isn't...Complaints let your partner know how to meet your needs...They are honest...They are a genuine effort to help the marital relationship...You and your husband should have a vested interest in the complaints of the other...It is an exercise in CARE...Marriage is a relationship of EXTRAORDINARY CARE...
Mrs. W
FWW ~ 47 ~ MeFBH ~ 50 ~ MrWonderingDD ~ 17 Dday ~ 2005 ~ Recovered
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Hey Maggie - I think you are doing very well. Don't let him see your list as demands though.
Once He has done it you should discuss it and get him to tell you how HE would like you to meet his most important needs - maybe just 2 of them (the top 2) for a start. Then you make a PLAN on exactly how to do that for him.
There is no down side for him in this!
Me: 56 (FBS) Wife: 55 (FWW)
D-Day August 2005
Married 11/1982 3 Sons 27,25,23
Empty Nesters.
Fully Recovered.
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