Hi TMTS!

You can hit with 2x4 cushions if you like, but no wood is needed! Its been 4 days.

I feel SO MUCH better now that I've let go of that "need" to keep tabs on OM. What a waste of my precious brain cells getting wrapped up in that drama was!

DH & I are setting out to go on a 16-hour road trip, and I've got the LB questionnaires for us to discuss in the car. I also made him some mix cds of both deep and goofy love songs. I used to make him stuff like that all the time, and he said last week..."why don't you make me cds anymore?"

Duh, why don't I? Plus I get to use my skilz designing the cases (I was a graphic designer before I went to school to do what I'm doing now.)

And I have an art project I'm finishing up for a xmas present for him, it's a bunch of shells he collected on the beach in florida on our anniversay a few years ago that have been sitting in a bag in the garage. I'm making them into this abstract sculptural thing that will hang in a shadow box on the wall.

He's half-sleeping, half-watching Anthony Bourdain right now. I just keep taking little breaks and checking in here.

What a difference a few days make. You sound like you're doing real well. Have fun on the trip, hope you get through his fog.

A few days, an amazing supportive forum, and some new anti-depressants that seem to be hitting just the right spot in my brain. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Through his fog? DHs? I don't think he is foggy...that's my job...do you think he is foggy, and if so can you explain? Or was that a typo for "this fog"?

maggie,

Your Christmas presents sound really cool. We're doing all homemade gifts this year. I was a graphic artist and illustrator in my former life LOL....I still do fine arts, but mostly for my own enjoyment. I worked alot until we started moving so much. I'm up late working on a pastel of apples for my daughter's new kitchen. She just got married, and she's got this thing for apples. The kids and I made a funny video for my husband to an old Tom Jones song....it's pretty funny. I'm really shocked that my husband actually made something....and wrapped it too...I just can't imagine what it is...but it's big. Anyway, I hope you have a Merry Christmas....I'm sure he'll love those gifts. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Oops sorry Maggie, wrong thread. the foggy hubby is regret is me's H. The effexor and adavant must be starting to take effect. LOL <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

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Hey MM! I thought I'd drop ya a line here, since I've been a looky-loo on your thread but never posted! I was talking to my hubby the other night about the checking OM's email, etc. Guess it would help if I post!

I've just taken a lot in over the past couple weeks and am feeling a little cross-eyed with it right now! Has it made a difference with DH since quitting the checking up on OM stuff? I remembered earlier on you had said he was so withdrawn, and I thought (after you told us that info) NO WONDER! (sorry-not a 2x4, I was just as bad with different stuff like my music). It almost like the fog just blocks things out that should be obvious, ya know. Then when it begins to cear, it's like Homer Simpson's-- Doh!!!

BTW-I like the forcast... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

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Oooo ya got me on the "Shoes" thing, Magster...

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/confused.gif" alt="" /> Not a clue

.

Oh well- we wouldn't want to offend my delicate sensibilities HAR HAR! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smirk.gif" alt="" />

I'll check it out tomorrow. My silly self needs to go to bed.

" Quote:
Liaz, please ignore BA, he is a troll.



Maggie,

Can you please post something else? Reply and show what is wrong with a post, don't just make an accusation especially to someone who is new to MB. They have no real clue about what you mean by a troll.

Please be a bit more understanding in your posts.

L. "

Um, why am I being called out INSTEAD OF THE TROLL? BA is jumping on peoples threads, prying into their lives, and won't explain himself at all. I felt safe here when I started posting. BA MAKES ME FEEL MY SAFETY HERE IS VIOLATED - I feel that he is here specifically to harm newbies and create drama - and yes, I fell for it.

I thought that the word "troll" entered the public lexicon about a decade ago, I think its a safe assumption that most people on message boards know what a troll is. I was trying to prevent harm, not cause it.

I think I may have made one other short post like this, after kindly pointing out BAs bad advice and asking him to stop asking questions when he wasn't willing to answer any. I got really upset and went with the short/to the point route because I'd seen many other vet posters here, who I admire, say the exact same thing in the exact same way. Please, before you accuse me of being unhelpful or lacking in understanding,look at my posting history first. I don't think I lack either quality.

So anyway, Orchid, while I understand your point, please don't tell me how to post or who to post to - it feels very condescending and controlling. I also think it's odd that you picked a newbie to chastize when plenty of older vets have used the exact same terms and posting style. I read here a long time before I started posting, I'm familiar with the "tone" of this board.

Merry Christmas!

Maggie, you said to BA:


Then you said to Orchid:


If STFU is representative of the "tone of this board" that is a one sad commentary. But maybe you're reading the posts of different "vets" than I am. Orchid, K, 2Long, JustLearning and star*fish seem to get their points across pretty well without resorting to profane acronyms. I find that I can disagree with what a poster says but still have tons of respect for the poster if he/she can express him/herself in a civil manner.

I'm not going to tell you how to post; that's the job of the moderator/admin. Post however you want. But I will tell you that what you posted to BA is much more a reflection of you than it is of BA. It says to me that you're trying to act tough. That's usually the posture of someone who doesn't feel very tough....quite understandable for a FWW new in recovery.

Now that I understand very well.

Take care.

PK

Yep PK, I made ONE profane post out of anger. I don't think that's as damaging as some of the bad advice BA has posted, but I can see where you would disagree.

*shrug*

Hi Maggie,

I don't want to do a pile up on you, but in the time I've been here---I haven't seen BA's posts as being 'bad' with regard to advice. It's very apparent that s/he had some very poor behavior by switching user ID's---but I haven't seen that history. The troll accusation stuff is very disruptive (in my opinion), and adds to a combative nature that shouldn't be here.

When you encounter someone you don't like---consider this:

1. Is it worth it to call them out? You're threadjacking, and especially with a newcomer's thread asking for advice---you can drive that person off. When is it worth it? When the advice is clearly anti-MB, and the person is taking it. Even then, I wouldn't smack people around with a troll label (easy for me to say---I just did it for effect a couple minutes ago). There's a long time poster (bryanp) who has never subscribed to the MB principles---and often does run-by postings suggesting divorce. But it's very rare that anyone pays any attention.

My suggestion would be to just not pay attention to this. If you need to correct---do so in a manner that illustrates MB principles and guidelines. It's much better than STFU---and you're a newcomer---it'll help you learn these methodologies and apply them yourself!

Regards...

Ok, post edited. It was done out of anger and is not my usual "style."

Please though, I think if you all would stop the pileup for a minute and get past the language I used, I think you will see I have a point as well.

Ok, reengage pile-up.

One thing is for sure, I would NEVER tell someone else how to post. Suggest, maybe, but tell them? Never.

Mags... focus. Remember why you're here... I'm one to talk mr. react ay anything the WW says. LOL

Maggie...

Email me...My email is in my signature line...

Mrs. W

Hi Maggie:

I'm sorry if you thought that this was a 'directive'. It's why I used the words 'consider' and 'suggestion'.

And anger is OK---everyone has it and deals with it. I'm sorry if I've added to your frustrations here---it wasn't my intent.

I am too emotionally raw to be on this board right now. My DH has asked me to please not come here anymore.

I really don't feel safe here - which is my issue, no one elses. Bur I can control that by leaving.

Thank you to everyone, you have all had such wonderful POVs and taken time to help me, it hasn't gone unappreciated.

I wish you all blessings, wonderful marriages, and a Merry Christmas!