So besides the WS not knowing for sure what they want to do... I bet the BS goes through the same uh, not sure what to call it... doubt? I'm wondering outloud ;-) do I want him back because I might not be able to have him? you know that saying "you want what you can't have"... but then I pleaded for him to come home this summer and he did and I was as thrilled as could be!

So he did come home after work, slept, stayed here all day, ate dinner and went to work... so HA to her!! he didn't see her today! And I just IM chatted with him for about two hours. I know things are still up in the air as to what he's going to do... but I guess each day he is here it's one more day he isn't with her... I just wish I could quit obsessing about this!! I want to get on with life!

Thanks for the support... could I please ask for prayers as well? Thank you!!

You have my prayers with you.

stressing.... giving myself a migraine. Tonight is his last night shift before two days off, I bet he'll disappear on me again! Yikes this is so hard!! I made a mistake of saying something about a schedule last week so I'll know when he'll be around and when he won't. I know that's a plan A no no. So when he mentioned on IM last night that he was having a hard time coming up with one because he likes to come and go and admittedly said he was a selfish sort of person, I didnt respond, because really I don't want a schedule telling me that he's with her! ick!

at least he's here... sleeping for another day, but who knows what tomorrow brings I soooo hate this!!!

We're here with you SS. You;re doing the right thing by venting here... get it all out before you see him.

All the best.

Serenity,

There is NO ONE on here who LIKE this. But this is what we are dealt to deal with today. And all you have to do is get through today. Let G-d have tomorrow as when it gets here G-d will be there with you today. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Do you pray? Can you ask G-d to help you and show you his will for you. Or help you to know what you need to do for HIM. G-d is there if you seek him. He wants YOU to become completely DEPENDENT on him, not yourself and not your WH, seek G-d and he will answer someway, somehow if you LISTEN.

Does that make sense?

yep i'm a prayer... I have asked that I am able to "handle" whatever path it is I am given, my heart is actually beating quite hard right now and almost feel as if I can't take in enough air... I said dd#2 is having a friend over tonight, he said what if I'm not around tomorrow to babysit, I said well they are teens they just need to be checked up on... I said aren't you going to be sleeping anyway, he says yes, but just for a bit... ugh means he probably has plans on seeing her ;-( I said something about going shopping in the evening, he said it's supposed to snow I said how about tuesday, same thing lots of snow. i don't know how long this can go on him coming and going as he pleases, i mean he's still real nice (other than that) we're still very! pleasant to one another. ok, well gonna help him with dinner then he showers and leaves for work ;-( we'll probably have a chance to im each other this evening which is nice, but he's probably im'ing with her at the same time ;-(

ss

MY heart aches for you. I cannot image what you're going through right now. It almost seems like he's not really trying to hide it.

My thoughts are with you.

What I meant about him living with her is that the fantasy would probably end more quickly.

What do you mean that you won't be able to make it financially without him?

Serenity,

You are absolutely amazing to be doing what you are doing. I am in complete awe of how you are able to do what you are doing. I can't imagine having my WH coming and going as he pleased, knowing it. NO WAY.

G-d is PORTECTING you. He is LOVING you and we are SUPPORTING you.

I often think that what we are going through has a higher purpose than we realize. And what you are going through will create a strength inside of you that will be a true testament to the love of G-d.

You are in my prayers and thoughts.

He isn't trying to hide it... I often wonder and have asked does he want me to kick him out? He says he wouldn't blame me if I did, he's also said he isn't surprised he hasn't found his stuff in bags out in the driveway.

TMTS- I think you do know how it feels, it sucks and my heart goes out to you as well.

believer- I make about a third of what he does when it comes to income. Right now all of his and all of mine go into our joint account, I pay the bills and then he takes what he can. I should have started this long ago, but didn't believe it was necissary, I'm putting a bit aside per pay check for emergency, incase he pulls all out! He has assured me time and again that he is willing to make sure the kids and I stay in the house... but once the troll has her claws in him that could change.

skins... sorry to say but go COWBOYS ;-p

Actually I'm a broncos & patriots fan, but cowboys would be #3

OH Serenity,

This could be WAR then. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Half time - I'll take the lead.

Serenity:

I can relate to what you are going through. My H spent nights out after D-DAY, ending up spending each weekend with her so don't feel like your situation is unusual. I did MY PLAN A which turns out to have been effective..in the midst of all of that...

OUR 5 YEAR D-DAY ANNIVERSARY is tomorrow...and we have never been happier...not saying the same will be true for you..but the best option is for you to work the MBer's PLANS...

What do you think caused your marriage to be vulnerable to the OW?

And, yes, sometimes I felt like I was "losing my mind"...

So the kids and I went to a movie... he texted me asked if I wanted to chat, I ignored it til we got home which was about 20 minutes. So I get on line we start chatting, I start flirting, joking about him sneaking away for a quicky, he was about to do it and then typed "don't want to give you false hope" well that there took all the fun out of it. we chatted a bit more then he said something about him being here when he'd rather be with someone else. UGH!!! I again reminded him how I could forgive him and we could rebuild, he said it wasn't like he went lookin to start a relationship with someone with two younger kids and baggage, it just happened. So I was bawling my eyes out thinking it's definatly time for Plan B, told him I could no longer chat and got of the instant messenger thing. AAAHHH!! No for sure he won't be coming home in the morning! What I don't understand is why he's been coming home and spending soooo much time here if he didn't want to work it out, I don't get it!!! All I can pray for is that she doesn't want him anymore, but my luck is she does, I just don't know what their plan is... guess it's time to start a plan b letter, anyone have good examples??

I haven't even gotten my harley books in the mail yet, and now it's probably too late anyway! I am soooo sooo sad!!

mimi... what caused the marriage to be vulnerable... me being on stupid medicine that knocked me out and had me sleeping all the time, it took months to change doctors and when he put me on something else and i had energy to finally spend time with my dh, it was too late ;-(

IT IS NOT TIME FOR PLAN B!!

Why do you think that?

PLAN A has to end with a BANG..with him wanting and desiring you...

It's definitely not too late..with him calling to talk to you..

Garden-variety WH..

My H did the same thing...

He's a CAKE-EATER...wanting you and her..wanting to fix it up so he can come home after spending New Year's Eve with her..YUCK...

PLAN A is about YOU...

IGNORE HIM...

It's gonna be about you being the BEST WIFE that you can be...

So what are you going to fix for dinner on Wednesday?

in other words, get back on line and chat with him, he just called dd cell and asked if i was up? said if I wanted to chat he was online.

great... he was typing to me when i was logged off, he did apologize for upsetting me, but he also typed this

If "she" wasn't in the picture... it wouldn't make a bit of difference between you and I... in the long run, i'd still be gone...

This is ALL standard WH CRAP...my H said the same CRAP..

What he wants is for you to give him up first so that HE IS NOT THE BAD GUY...

IGNORE HIM...

Start telling him that you want to work on your marriage...

Serenity,

Listen to EVERYTHING Mimi is telling you. She is the best and got the result that you desire.

You are so lucky to be getting her wisdom and help.

I am so glad for you.