tmts forgot to answer question re: a place for WH to stay... yes finances are a huge reason, if we go the bankruptcy route he'd be able to get a place, but other than that nope, can't afford it, the apartment he was going to possibly stay in his BF who left yesterday will most likely get.

haven't gotten up from puter yet cause I had a lap full a cat ;-) she got up so now I will.

Oh no... your one of them. Can't disturb the poor cat now. LOL

I can relate, we've got 4 of them... all big sucks, except for the kitten, she goes from attacking the other three to being a little suck.

Were you kidding about the washing machine? I just read that again...that's too funny.

nope not jokin'. The other day he was over getting a change of clothes and hoppin' in the shower. He said I need a basket for my laundry, I'll do it, I don't expect you to continue doing it for me. I said (not in a mean way or anything,) "Why don't you do it over there?" He said "Because I'm not aloud to touch the washing machine." I said "What?" he said, "That's what she said, she does all the laundry." I thought well good for her, she's trying to impress him or something stupid, I'm sure it won't last. Not like he's done much of any housework around here anyway. And I didn't get him a basket, I put his stuff with the rest of the families and continue to do it. Slowly though most of his clothes are making it over there... except for my favorite shirt of his, his favorite pair of pants (they go together) and his nice slippers. I hid them!!! ;-)

LOL, that too much. See that would be a deal breaker for me. I like doing laundry, I like it even more when one of the machines breaks down and I get to tear it apart. It took my WW a while to "let" me do the laundry, like its rocket science or something. I finally said to her one day "you know when I read the tag, it gives me a pretty good idea what pile it goes in." ever since I've been doing laundry. She still doesn't like the way I fold, but that's just too bad.

Has the cat hijacked your lap again? I've got one on my lap and the kitten is flopping around on the keyboard and pawing at the screen. It's taken me 10 mins to put up this post. Stupid cats got to love them.

no, but the other one tried to climb up, after she drolled on me I had to put her down, GROSS!!

I was up last night fetching my cat from underneath the house. It was pouring down rain, and he was under there crying - didn't want to get wet.

Hope ya'll are doing fine today.

I get concerned about you not speaking out about the affair not being OK with you.

It's not OK for him to be open about saying what it's like with her.

It's OK to openly express your sadness and hurt about what he is doing.

It is ENABLING if you don't speak out and let him know that you want him home with you and that you want him to end his affair. That is AN ESSENTIAL PART of PLAN A. Pep called it THE STICK of PLAN A.

Hey Serenity,

Just wanted to pop in and give ya big hug and say hi...(((((serenity)))))

Hope you are having a great day....

Not2fun

I'm having a rough time. I don't know what to do with myself and the weekends are looooong days when WH isn't here. Haven't talked to him for over 24 hours. He took one child to basketball this a.m. But hasn't been in contact with anyone else ;-( I'm bored.

Mimi I do express my desire for him to stop doing what he is doing and to come home. I even said exactly how I felt about her and that I don't want him bringing her anywhere around my kids. He agrees to not do that. He didn't get mad when I said what I did he just looked at me with sad eyes.

Hi SS,

Join the lonely gang. Queenie, you, myself. We can keep each other company online.

Where are you in N.E.? Are you close to the Ocean? That would make our little community coast to coast.

I know it's maybe a little sick and obsessive, but as long as this BA guy keeps spending his whole day here I feel normal. LOL

Hi Serenity,

We aren't the lonely gang. We are the lucky ones at home to support each other tonight.

Ok I stand corrected. But hte home support group makes it sound like we're waiting for a nurse to come and check on us.

I remember those SAD EYES...any SUFFERING on his part is GOOD. He needs to SUFFER the consequences of his actions..

AND..a crucial part of PLAN A is to gain his RESPECT.

about an hour from the coast. so just about coast to coast.

I've seen lots of suffering on his part. I believe my Plan A has had some effect on him already. That and the fact that the kids are not happy with him and he sees that.

But then he's brought it on himself, he contacted NONE of us today. DD had a basketball game and I thought for sure he'd call her to see how she did, but he didn't. I was kind of going to be mad if he contacted her and not the other two, because for some reason he seems to connect with her more, I hate that!!

Still can't believe I did do anything today, just pity party. I did search and found that a step aerobics class will be starting in the area soon, I may look into that. And I must!!!! sign son up for drivers ed... 4weeks and he'll be 16!

IMHO, sometimes not doing anything is ok too. If its to restore your soul or be good to yourself.

Do you always do something everyday?

Guilt, guilt, guilt... the children are at the age where telling them they it wasn't anything they did just doesn’t cut it. I know my WW actually told me that it would be hard on them, but they would adjust. She never figured on my ODD telling her exactly what she think about it. At 13 she knows what and affair is, understands that adultery is wrong and doesn't accept her reasons for leaving. She actually told her that she's running away from her problems.

What's this may look into it? Go for it, it will make you feel better and take your mind off things.

no, I work during the week, but I've basically become a "homebody" and I think that's one of the things that bothers WH. I hate to go out and spend money and can't seem to figure anything else to go out and "do"... so today I just sat around, he would have been bored out of his mind, guess what I was!

Gotta start working on that. There are LOTS of things to do that don't require spending money.

Ok people!! ;-) Help me out here! Kids are teens so it isn't really cool to hang out with mom. But we really do need to get out of the house on the weekends and do something together, I can see that they'll sit in front of the tv, computers, video games and I'm sure that will lead to depression! What are some things we can do that don't cost much if anything? I'm drawing blanks because I myself am in such a funk!