Ok, Ok, ;-) keep pounding it into my head! He's coming over for dinner today. No expectations! But I'm not the happiest right now, I noticed he snuck something else out. It was his, but geesh, why be so sneaky about it?! I want to say something about him being deceitful, but that wouldn't be kind. I just hate that he's slipping away a tiny bit more everyday. I know this could take months or years so I've got to be patient.

Hope you all have a wonderful Sunday, I'll be back this evening to reread and I think I need to start printing out some of this great wisdom!!

Thanks all of you!!

ps Miss M, I have the 180 list, I'll reread it before he comes over.

SS, I've just been going through your thread and I'm amazed at how much your sitch reminds me of mine. Cake eating WH, TMI on his part, etc. Keep your chin up and remember to be still! The no expectation thing is a killer for me. When he says things like "I want us to work this out" I actually buy into it!! LOL I'm working the 180 thing too, I'll keep you in my prayers, hope tonight goes well.

ah, well he was here and gone. had no expectations and so I wasn't let down... he tried to get physical and I moved away saying it wouldn't be appropriate, he said he knows, but if I want to, just give him a call anytime... I decided no more of that! I feel so disrespected afterwards! I refuse to be the Other woman in my own marriage!!
now I keep getting texts from him along the lines of him being horny! ugh!!!


So I feel much better about myself ;-)

Just text him back that you are melting inside because he's so hot, but there are too many people in this marriage.

What B said...

Perfect...

Mark

well now he isn't texting anymore and we're chatting on the computer, he isn't talking dirty any more, thank goodness, i'd have to make and excuse to get off the computer, If I said something like that to him "too many people in this marriage" I think he'd freak out and not talk to me at all anymore.

I don't know if I could be that direct, scary thought.

oh i wish you all were here!!!!

he said he could come and make a "housecall" make sure we were all safe.

I said "no, no more "housecalls" how can I ever expect anyone to respect me if I can't respect myself."

him "fair enough- i'm sorry if you feel that you don't "respect" yourself-i don't want that to be the case"

him "i don't feel that i don't respect you.... i hope you don't think that i don't - i guess it may seem that way though... maybe i am just an inconsiderate loser"

me "no, you're not a loser, you've lost your mind maybe, but you aren't a loser. I just don't respect myself for taking seconds or thirds. I don't like being the "other woman" in my own marriage"

him "i guess that puts it into persepctive for me...
and i understand your viewpoint"


See what I have to put up with... he always says the right things... even when he babbles...

I'm just going to keep having patience, but set my boundaries! and wait him out!!

I THINK YOU DID GREAT!! GOOD FOR YOU!! WHAT A GODDESS..WITH SUCH COURAGE, NOW!!

I'M APPLAUDING!!

Soon,

That was awesomw! You waitied for him to start, told him exactly how you feel and dropped it. You even recongnize the babble now. The guilt is gtting to him. How much do the kids know? They should be your biggest allie in this, they need to know what plan A and B are and WHY you are doing it.

You're doing great, keep your head up.

the kids know he's staying at the warthogs house. Oldest is angry about it, middle daughter hates that I would even want him back and youngest is sad about the whole thing.

after the above conversation we changed topics, he suggested he come over for dinner on wednesday and then again next weekend, we talked about the kids report cards, and he asked if i was going to get the kids something for valentines day or should we get them something together ;-)

see! I think I've got the hang of this... we'll see how it goes. I'm no ones darn doormat anymore! I'm a GODDESS ;-)

and this Goddess has got to get to bed! Can you believe the kids only ended up going to school mon and fri last week... too much snow and it's coming down again! geesh at this rate they'll be going til july!

thanks for the support and encouragement!!

You are getting the hang of this. From the sounds of it he's starting to notice too.

Hi TMTS,

I miss you dude.

Hi all, well here's hoping for a good week. I'm still shocked that this decent guy (I thought) could be shackin' up with a ho with two young kids. I feel so bad for the kids, because this is the second (that we know of) married guy she's brought into her house. What those two girls must be learning is sooo very sad. Anyway... I hope they're monsters and very disrespectful to my WH ;-) And I hope they make all kinds of noise while he's trying to sleep. I'll continue to try and make home a place he'd like to come back to.... but I don't know, it's kind of hard to do when he only comes over a couple times a week when I'm here and a few minutes here and there when I'm at work.

((((Serenity)))))

YOU GO GIRL...... way to lay down the law.....and stick up for yourself. And stop wonderin' what's going on in "sickoville". yuck. Glad to see you did better than I did this weekend. I forgot, does he want a D? does he think your M is repairable??? Sorry I forgot the details. Well, hopefully you will have a good week and the kiddies will have more school this week. Me??? if the kids get a snow day, I get a snow day...I work for the school district.

not2fun

ps...how is the scrapbooking going??? I am gonna keep bugging you about till you get around to doing it, because I know how much YOU enjoy it, and girl, you deserve some JOY....

and what is it that you do for joy? No I haven't done any scrappin lately. I did buy a new little toy at the craft store the other night, I should play with my scrapbook stuff, I know... but not tonight, I'm in the mood to read some more of Love Must Be Tough... Then maybe tomorrow night I'll scrap ;-)

The big D was mentioned back in May when this first came out. Not even sure he mentioned it this last time, at least not to me, I'm sure he's telling that tramp something though. Back in Dec I asked if he was going to just suprise me and have papers delivered to me and he said no... I hope he would give me some sort of warning (I'm 90% sure he would warn me first).

I used to work for the school system too. But I got was hand delivered a wonderful job by GOD himself at the beginning of December ;-) That has really helped me during the work week!! So our kids have already missed 9 days for snow and the district only put 6 of them in the calendar for this year! Yikes! I could take the days off too, but I still want to get paid so I either take the first part off and go in late, or make up the time later in the week.

I was in a pretty good mood today until DD14 text and said dad picked them up in the tramp mobile. DD13 climbed in and said "ah, I like this car" DD14 elbowed her and gave dad a dirty look, youngest didn't know who it belonged to. HA! These kids are so funny. Son said DD13 saw a piece of paper and wanted to write a not so nice note to the warthog LOL! Gotta love them. I've explained to them, more in the past few days that I do have a plan, that he is doing something he shouldn't be, but that I still love him and he's always been a good dad, so hopefully he'll realize he's made a mistake and come home.

Sounds like you are doing well.

Being friendly with your hubby is a good strategy. It will drive the OW crazy. She will resent any time that he spends with you and his family. She would really freak out if she knew he was hitting you up for benefits!

Keep up the good work. Even though he doesn't come over all the time, he will notice things. The home needs to be clean and sparkling. Put out some fresh flowers if you have them.

Maybe you can borrow some ticket stubs or program to an event like the theatre. Buy a different kind of wine and leave it out. He will notice things like that.

lol, that's a good one believer.. program or tickets! Ha- I couldn't though, it'd be too much like fibbing. As it is whenever he calls the kids or texts he asks what I'm doing. I've asked them to please not tell him, just simply say "do you want to talk to her?" cause really that is his way of asking for me. I told the kids long ago he stopped answering me when I'd ask, so really he shouldn't ask anymore, the kids are so smart, they get it. I almost wish they were too nieve and innocent for this bull, but they aren't.

flowers? fresh flowers? OHMGoodness... hmmm lets see if I can dig beneath the three feet of snow I might find... nope don't imagine there will be any under there! ;-) That would be nice though, I could get some from the grocery store, I'll ask the kids if they wouldn't mind "buying" mom some flowers for VDay.

You don't need to fib, just leave stuff around. It wouldn't be good to make him think you were going out, just doing different things. But it is probably hard to do with three feet of snow.

(((Serenity))))

How's the book coming???? You are doing so good with your Plan A. Before long, I'll be the only one over here in A-ville, struggling to get it right. Of course, just when I start to worry about you and your WS taking advantage of your good nature, you say something like "skankmobile" or "warthog"...you crack me up.

As far as joy for me...that would be reading. Actually, I am almost done with "Tough Love" and "Love Busters" and then I am going to pick up a fiction book. I think I need a little break from the heavy stuff. But nothing too romantic or mushy, that would just tick me off right now.

Anywho,,,I got my snow day today...so I need to go make some use of it...I'll check in later...


not2fun

we may get a snow day tomorrow.
I know what you mean about reading something less heavy. I keep picking up fiction from the library and then returning it unread. This time ;-) I'll read one. I'm only still about half way through Love Must be Tough. I'm not going to sit at the computer all evening, I'm going to read.

WH bought me a nice bottle of wine and some cherry klondike bars for Valentines day, dropped them off when he brought the kids home from school, I was at work. He told the kids to make their mom a valentines card, DD14 said "you should, she's your wife" and then proceeded to play a video game (naughty girl ;-)

ok, going to read!!