((((Serenity))))

WAY TO GO DD14...that's too funny. And he brought you Valentine's stuff....now tell me how we are not supposed to have any expectations when they do crap like that???? Ughhghgh...stupid cake-eaters...maybe you should bake him a cake for Valentines Day. You could put on there "To my Only Valentine..." and then make him take it with him...see what warthog thinks about that one....LMAO...

So whatcha think about the book so far?? Are you learning anything??? I think you will definately have to do Plan B, and by you WS actions, you will succeed once you do this. Remember, you don't want to wait too long for Plan B, or so I hear anyway... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> (far be it from me to give advice...I can't even follow my own stuff....).

Anyway, gonna take the kiddies out to dinner....I'll sneak back in later...get some opinions on my Valentines Day idea...

not2fun

he's sure acting different, now that I set up some boundries! I like it!!

The book is good and I think it's helping me. I want my WH to respect me, not pity me. And the whole thing about dating, when we were younger- people don't beg, and plead to get someones attention, they act more distant and mysterious, that's a big DUH for me! I've gotta keep reading ;-)

ok, so much for expectations! ew what a slimy WH he is. While he was here he pulled out some of his work clothes from our closet and hung them on the back door to take with him, and he forgot them! I'm sure when he comes tomorrow he'll ask where they went and I'll just smile and say "oh, I hung them in the closet where they belong." UGH!!!!

DD asked if I was going to give him a Valentines present (when we were shopping for her boyfriend, too cute, but also depressing for me) I said no I'm not supposed to buy him gifts, I'm working the plan remember ;-) Is that a plan A thing or did I read it on the 180 list? I don't remember... I was thinking of writing him a letter, but I haven't decided yet... we'll see.

Ok n2f now I'm getting off the computer to read! almost 3 hours later, shame!!!

As much as you want to slap them silly sometimes, aren't teenage DDs great. Mind was saying things like that to my FWW daily. LOL

Ohh..I was going to write mine a letter too....a get him some of his favorite candy. Haven't quite decided yet though....I do wish my kiddies were saying things like that though....sigh...

oh oh...look out...TMTS has a bunch of typo's again...must be all that Recovery Wine...lol

lol too funny, I'm enjoying myself a glass of wine tonight, on an empty stomache, not good.

I don't know N2F, in a way DD is being disrespectful, but really I can't blame her. I just wish this didn't have to happen to them. If he wasn't so wayward, she wouldn't have a reason to have a disrespectful attitude. Actually though she's taught me a lot through this mess. The three of them have been great!

DS16! who I was a passenger with this weekend as he practiced driving, in the snow no less- yikes!! is luckily not taking on the "man of the house" attitude as far as I can see,(I'm watching him TMTS). He's such a good boy! Keepin' up with grades, doing chores, given mom hugs ;-) Gotta love him!

Younges is the emotional one but she's hanging tough. They have a lot of friends who's parents have gone through divorce so they do lots of chatting/venting with them.

You know I was SO judgemental about divorced people before this.Growing up I didn't know but maybe two or three kids who's parents were divorced and the reason was usually because the dad was in jail or an alcoholic etc... so in the past when the kids talk about a new friend I would question about parents,and if they were seperated - that would bring up red flags to me, i'd want to know why? was the dad in the picture, who was the mom, why weren't they together anymore? etc, etc... boy did I wake-up!!

AMEN to that Serenity...now of course, after DD trauma, that made it even worse for me.....

are you having some of your special Vday wine???

anyway, gotta go...I have to work in the morning and need to straighten up a little....

have another glass on me though....lol...then typo away like TMTS...

not2fun

too funny, nope I'm finishing my cheaper bottle off first, I'll probably be ready to open the valentines bottle this weekend.

hey how about we goddesses all sign up for stripper pole dance class ;-)

I'm so jealous of you two having your wine.

Drink some for me please. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Yeah snow day!

WH showed up early this a.m. Nicely I inquired why he was here?, he wasn't due til this afternoon. He said he was awake, might as well come by. Been here all morning, we haven't touched the subject of M or R. He's just soooo weird, I really am starting to believe ;-( that he's ready to take the next step away from marriage, he's just having a hard time coming up with the words because he doesn't want me to start crying and get all upset. I'd like to say I'm prepared, but in all honesty I'm not!!! UGH!!! Of course with the VDay gifts and spending more time here I would have loved to believe it was the other direction he was headed, as in home... but I don't believe that's the case, not with finding his work clothes hanging on the back door yesterday and I snooped in his sock, underwear, t-shirt drawer and they're almost empty now... I guess I'm handling it pretty well for now. I hope I can be strong when he does find the words and drops the bomb! ;-( Pray for me and the kids please.

I am praying for you and your kids, with all my heart.

Thank you Queenie, you are in my prayers as well.

I don't know how they sleep with themselves at night!! We are sooooo snowed in and I couldn't get out if I had to in an emergency!! He dug his car out and left early this afternoon, just around the time I know his waste got out of work. And he had said he was coming over for supper, but nope didn't stay! I'm sure her driveway is nice and plowed out!!

It is mind boggling and hurtful and I wish I could stop the feelings.

When I do, I'll let you know. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

((((Serenity))))

What kind of trouble are you stirring up tonight??? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />....

Ok,,,where is the strong, vibrant, this-is-for-me woman I left last night??? Oh yeah, WS came over this morning with Aude de Skank all over him huh????

Just kidding honey. Do not even try to read into his words or actions. So what if he takes some more clothes. Doesn't mean anything. Last week my WS took the rest of his undies and T-shirts (and I know he did this spitefully...) and today is talking about how much he hates this and wants to come home... Remember, he's the alien/crack addict/WS that you don't want anyway.

I know its hard...you know I know its hard...but keep your chin up and chest out while he is around....and you know what ....if he does drop the bomb......SO WHAT....its not the end of the world....heck...its just more babble anyway...

think of how many times I have come on here crying about my WS saying this to me???? and how many times does he change his mind?????

Ok...I'll get off my speech now...you know I am here to support you. WS do suck...that is all I can say...Ummm one question though...YOu didn't do "anything" while he was there, did you??? Gotta ask, because it sounds like you might have, especially with that other thread you started.......

I'll check in on you in a little bit....

Not2fun

I really didn't mean to cause such a stir there, but I really did think I read someones thread where they said they did continue and that in the end it saved their M... maybe I was dreaming LOL. I'll delete the thread if it seems to get too heated or raises too much stink, I just think it's interesting.

I'm doing fine this evening, actually. I'm reading about money matters and going to pick up Love Must be Tough and read as much of it as possible tonight.

I know even if he does drop that stinkin' bomb, it's not the end of the world and it's still not over until it's over!

and... N2F... did you see, we had a snow day today!! Don't know what drivings going to be like tomorrow though, freezing rain has been falling for the past few hours, it's a mess!

Yeah, what kind of trouble are you stirring up?

Your hubby seems very attached to you. I take that as a good sign. Just keep telling yourself that they almost always come back.

(((Serenity))))

Glad to see your back...and don't think I didn't notice you didn't answer the question....Thats ok...I still love you. And I don't mean to sound too harsh, I just hate what he is doing to you. I don't know what he was like before the A, but he must have been somewhat decent or you wouldn't be sticking around...

not2fun

I've been prayin' for ALL of ya! Serenity...honey...him taking a few personal items doesn't mean a thing. At least no more than him actually moving out. I think he is in conflict. Is there trouble at the warthog's three little pig shack?

And this, "DD14 said 'you should, she's your wife' and then proceeded to play a video game (naughty girl ;-)" just had me LMAO!!! She sounds as funny as her AWESOME mommy!

Waiting for an update...**tapping foot**

edited to say...read your update. **tapping stops** Hey not2, I think she's playin' for the DODGERS tonight...hehehe! make sure if ya do (which you shouldn't anyways!) you are CAREFUL!!!

he really was decent, besides having a bit of a temper when it came to traffic, "his" sports teams, projects here and there, just a bit of loud swearing if things didn't go his way with regards to the above mentioned things... not directed at anyone in particular.

He never swore at me, never yelled, never got physical.

Of course he didn't do much when it came to indoor chores, but a lot of men are like that. He was a great cook!

I just think over the last few years he became depressed, started putting on weight and was just all around not happy. Then I got ill and that was it, warthog came around and snagged him up.

Now when he comes around he tries to be in a good mood, we still get about 90% of his paycheck. I don't think he's tried to put the A right in my face. Actually since it started he's been overyly guilty and does extra stuff to try and make up for it.

Does it sound like I'm sticking up for him? Yep, because aside from this I really believe he's a decent guy... and he's said more than once he can't understand why I would even want him back.

I'm still going to hang in and wait for him to say he's made a mistake and wants to come home ;-)

LaLa, funny you should say that about DD14! So many times while we would be having dinner she'd say something with her blonde attitude-directed at me, in a not real nice way, but yet not quite disrespectful, she knows the line, and WH would role his eyes and say how much the two of us are alike. ;-)