I know mimi, just keep reminding me ;-)

Anyway it's not like it takes a lot to get this place cleaned, we usually have it pretty much picked up. Cooking is my down fall though... I would so much rather be doing something else, guess I should consintrate on that!

He's on my mind 24/7... I can't do anything with out thinking about him ;-(

SS, I feel ya girl on the cooking thangy...but..it has to be done...The Crockpot is your friend..
The Roasting Bag is your friend. The Roasting bag is my favorite, it's just cutting up veggies, seasoning the roast, chicken or porkloin and timing, same with the crockpot. They are easy and sooo good! Good Luck GF

I totally understand where you are coming from on here. Please try to find a way to stop thinking about him 24/7. It will eat at you, and he doesn't deserve that space taken up.

Do you pray? Start praying to G-d everytime you start thinking about him. Mimi told me to shake my head, try that, but start limited yourself.

Serenity, there is NOTHING you can do to change what he is doing or thinking. Just yourself.

Is there ONE thing you have always wanted to do?

Yes, roasting bags and the crockpot! All you do is chop stuff up and throw it in. Then VOILA!!!! dinner.

And in the meantime you can do something else.

I have this FABULOUS crock pot cookbook. Fix-It and Forget it, 5 ingredient favorites.

I love it.

I have a crock pot, should start using it more often I guess. Dinner went well.

about thinking about him 24/7, yes I do lots of praying when I'm thinking about him. praying that things go bad between the two of them sooner rather than later and praying that he'll come home for good.

Hey, Queenie - post some good ones.

Serenity - Glad things went well. The affair will end, just hang in there.

this crud is just too hard to figure out...

I'm worried that if I do x then it'll push him to file for D, but if I don't do it it'll make him think I'm happy he's out of the house. Then if y looks like a doable option what if that's the straw... I guess it's back to being patient and waiting the affair out, but what if my being patient also makes him think I'm fine with the way things are and he continues on with the warthog?

I've been trying to warn you to not make the same mistake that I DID.

There was a point that by staying in PLAN A too long that he fell even MORE DEEPLY "IN LOVE" with her. I EASED his PAIN over the AFFAIR, enabled the affair, so he could ENJOY it.

I highly recommend that you PREPARE for PLAN B.

Do you want desserts, main dish, soups, appetizers?

Your wish is my command. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

This is why you need to do what is best for YOU....and for Plan B. Don't second guess these MB principles. Personally, I think that once you go to Plan B, it will crush him. But, I do see that he is becoming more and more detached from you and the kids....

not2fun

((((Serenity))))

What are you doing letting your thread fall to the second page??????

Ughhh....girl, I saw your post on my thread, and I'm responding on here....

You can do Plan B...believe in yourself....I believe in you. If I can do it (and I am almost there.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/cool.gif" alt="" />) you can do it. You are worth SO much more than this.

I'm gonna have to keep after you honey....

remember....you can run but then so can your stockings....lol

not2fun

I am working on splitting our finances, opening my open account etc... but if I go NC with him that will just screw up what we have left of a relationship and honestly I'd rather have what little communication we have as opposed to none. As it is he's keeping the skank away from my kids and I need it to stay that way. He sees them here at our house. Otherwise he'd have to take them over there. I could come up with a hundred other reasons why plan b won't work in my situation... I'm hard headed! stubborn...

I have no doubt in my mind, Serenity, that WITHOUT PLAN B OUR MARRIAGE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN RECOVERED. PLAN B is what brought my H home. Otherwise, he would have remained COMFORTABLE with me as HIS FRIEND, the OTHER OPTION, and THE OW as his LOVER....

He had to feel like he was LOSING ME, he had to MISS ME, he had to get to see that the OW could not meet his ENs, before he ended the affair.

You run the risk of SETTLING for CRUMBS or less from him...

He will begin to DISRESPECT you as a woman who SETTLES FOR CRUMBS...He will not consider you as being VALUABLE or WORTHY...AND most importantly, YOU are not experiencing YOURSELF that way...

TRUST and BELIEVE in what these WISE MEN, DOBSON and HARLEY, are saying...

Serenity, Please read and listen to what Mimi is saying. I'm nervous to go into Plan B, but I KNOW it's the ONLY way to save my M.

Trust those who have walked before us and come here for support. You DESERVE better than CRUMBS.

Hi Soon,

You are going to drive yourself crazy if you keep on this track. Mimi's last post says it best. How long can you really keep up this crumb routine and still stay in love with him. If you settle for a little contact for you than that is all you will ever have, if you truly want him back you need to let go. So let go already!!! Think about the fun the warthog will have trying to meet all ENs now.

Ya, and don't think I'm not still lurking keeping an eye on you, Not and queenie...

My thoughts and prayers are always with you guys!

So, I have MY OWN checking and savings account now! Did it this morning when a staff meeting was put off! How's that for a step in the right direction! Named son as beneficiary. WH called while I was still working, went ahead and chatted with him, usually I'm out of there by then. Anyway he turned down the offer for dinner, which I had pretty much already knew was going to happen. What really PMO!! (piss** me off) was that he just goes on chattin' about daughter this, son that... blah, blah, and when it's time to get off the phone the only thing that's missin' is the "i love you"... everythings normal to him! UGH!! Don't know why Plan B would even matter... she's already meetin' all his ENs, he doesn't let me doing anything, doesn't want me for anything 'cept to raise his kids! I'm mad right now and wish there was some sort of punishment that adulterers (can't spell right now!) could receive! It shouldn't be so easy for them to distroy families like they do!!

Serenity my dear, that is an EN that you are meeting.

Plan B is for YOU!!!!!! It is to protect the love you have left for him, it's not to punish him or make a point. It's to protect you, and I am really beginning to understand this.

G-d is out there watching what he is doing. WH may or may not get away scott free, but that doesn't matter. G-d will turn this into good. I can absolutely promise you this. I can speak of it in so MANY ways in my life it's unbelievable.

Keep on learning about yourself, become the best person you want to be, and leave your WH to G-d. He is the one who can FIX and restore your M. Walk FAITH in G-d that each and every day he is preparing you for something that you can't even imagine.

I promise you this. But you have to let go of wanting to punish WH. What he has done is awful, disgusting, horrible, but he is SICK. He isn't the MAN you MARRIED. Remember he is an ADDICT and all he CARES about is his NEXT FIX. It consumes him.

Take comfort that he talks about his kids. Take comfort that G-d is watching over you and he is hurting more than you EVER could for what your WH is doing.

{{{{{{{{{Serenity}}}}}}}}}}}}

SS,

Read Queenie's post about 50 times. Then take a break and read it 50 more...

Keep reading it till you get it...

Mark

ok, what if plan b pushes him away from the kids?