Ah Mark,
I'm having some fun having this discussion with you!
I truly enjoy theoretical discussion with people about communication, perception, and all kinds of nerdy stuff.
Thanks for the entertainment. I'm sincere in that! I don't get to do this at work - all they want is the report, and what my "bottom line" is.
Gee, they aren't any fun at all.
Anyway, you are right about your customers. It's the same, though, in a wide variety situations of communication. Folks go into many conversations with an idea of what they desire the outcome to be - and often, with a plan for that outcome no matter what is communicated by the other person or how it is communicated.
BUT
The good news is that this type of "negotiation" can be thwarted with simple tactics of using their own style against them. If you understand the style of communicator, they each have a kind of "trademark" weakness. You can capitalize on that, and use it.
It is somewhat more difficult in the posting realm, but possible.
I understand what you are talking about, and the difficulties here on the boards. There certainly are many users who take offense where none is meant, who grab a phrase and turn it in a way that was unlikely intended, or take a discussion in a direction that was not the orginal intent when it might serve the purpose of the poster.
I have also seen many posts with, as you put it, underlying meanings. There are also others with blatant lies.
Some posters have more than one "persona" and utilize multiple usernames, although I do think that the moderators are working on that problem. I did have a different username for a few weeks when I first signed up, but didn't use it long because I felt like it just didn't portray how I felt about myself, and I didn't realize I could just change how the screen showed it - instead I re-registered under Schoolbus. I think this happens sometimes, more often than we think.
But other times, I think people like the idea of more than one username so they can post their story in one place, and be "someone else" for other reasons elsewhere. Sometimes I find myself wondering about that, and seeing similarities in different user's posts, and wondering about that type of thing - is this user that user too???? I can't help it, just happens to me.
Perhaps this is a hazard of my job, and I see similarities because that's what I do, or perhaps because the similarities are there.
There was once a thread where some people did name other usernames they had used before - but let die or don't use any longer. That thread was actually about something else originally, though....I can't remember offhand about it now.
I digress, sorry!
I agree that I would like to see the members focus more on building marriages. But as with any forum, there will be disagreements. Civil disagreements are more pleasant.
But hey, don't you like popcorn and fireworks once in awhile???? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
SB
