Vladie. Vladie. Steve did not tell you not to go dark or have an intermediary, did he?

He didn't say "definitely don't do it" but he did point out that fact. I am going to make an appointment to speak to him one more time as he did speak with WW and I haven't spoken to him since.

I did tell you to talk with him before dropping the Plan B hammer.......

He told you not to send your son with a stranger, didn't he? That is VERY DIFFERENT from telling someone they can't go into Plan B and can't have an intermediary!!

Vladie - for the first time you have some leverage. She is bucking and twisting about Plan B and is desperate to draw you out to meet her needs and facilitate more family times.

You FINALLY have a chance to give her a glimpse of the future and for her to make a commitment to your marriage and you screw it up by playing right into her hands and imersing yourself in her drama.

Vladie - WAKE UP

You hit the nail on the head BigK. I think I really need to get my solicitor to draw up the custody thing and get it legal. DS is starting daycare on thurs and fri from this week. That means that she won't see DS from wed to sun and thats what she's getting roiled up about.

Chances are too that she will try and change this or go and collect him so she can see him. This is not in his best interest and I think I need to make it legal for this reason. Other issue is that she will prob push for settlement on the house also if I go this road but I don't think I have a choice now.

I need to show her that I MEAN BUSINESS

Good idea to get visitation set up by your atty. Also, you can do your exchanges at day care. For example, you could drop him off and she could pick him up.

As far as selling the house, if you have primary custody, I wouldn't expect that to happen except in a D settlement.

In the meantime, I would GO DARK and only see her for now when you do exchanges. Don't say anything, just pass the boy over. TEHRE IS NO NEED TO ANSWER HER TEXTS! THERE IS NO NEED TO COMMUNICATE AT ALL!

And please get an intermediary. Just ask a good friend to do it over email. it doesn't have to be someone in Australia.

I have no intention of answering any more of her texts!!!

Vladie - it is possible hat I could be your intermediary. I'm scared to death about getting in the middle and I do go away for work but perhaps we could give it a go. What do you think?

I really appreciate the offer - but problem is she doesn't have a computer and doesn't e-mail. All communication is by text. She would down right refuse to speak with someone she doesn't know. I'm hoping that she will stop texting when she sees that I am not going to go back to Plan A mode.

Also my parents are coming next week so they should be able to help me out too. Problem there is she hates them and blames them for her A. And believe my they think what she has done is decpicable. At least I will not break as I'll have them for encouragement.

Thanks again for the offer. I guess we'll see how it goes...

Vlad - TM's are OK. Can you set it up so you can send any texts to me? Then I will respond to her. We can work with just texts.

I'll see how it goes....thanks

MFIL...can't you see that this is all good on your behalf. Her reaction is exactly what you want right now! It means the Plan B is working-if you'll just let it. I hope she wakes up soon so your poor little one can be at peace again.

I am so sorry about the sadness of it all, though. My thoughts and prayers are with you. You really couldn't be in better hands than Mel and BK. They are the best!

Thanks, Lala! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Welcome! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" />

I know I am getting good help on this thread and I want to thank you all.

WW refuses to send texts through intermediary. But my parents will be here on monday so they can open any messages from her and pass on whats relevant.

Received 3 more messages in last few days. I didn't respond to any of them. "why won't you go (mediation). I don't want to change amount of time with DS just maybe they could advise us. I just think we should try. I'm not playing around (with OM).

"are u ok? I was behind you today on road. I don't care that you locked the door (house). DS is fine wasswimming all day. He didn't see you but asked about you earlier.

and

"hi can we talk about mediation please. I don't wantto upset you. Maybe we are doing things right. They are experienced. We don't have to fight, I'm dissappointed we are"

Strange I'm not fighting! I'm just not playing her games anymore. Will have to see her later when I pick up DS. She won't see him again till sunday....I know there will be drama but I will just say NOTHING!

Good for you! Hang strong!!

Vladie - her consent isn't important.

Forward her messages to me and I will deal with them - without you reading them.

She might refuse to deal with an intermediary but you can just ignore that and communicate with her THROUGH me. She will eventually get the idea.

Ok BigK thanks! I'll give u a call later

Oh forgot to mention that last week I sent a copy of my PBL to WW's parents alony with a covering letter explaining that I found out still contact with OM etc. So they should be getting that in the next few days......

They are still on my side and want things back to normal so I didn't want to give her the opportunity to turn them against me. She has already succeeded with her brother in that regard