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Julie, we were posting at the same time. I DO understand how you feel, but do NOT respond while your feelings are so strong...vent here all you want, but don't respond to her right now.
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Julie, write out the most scatching letter you can think of and put it in the drawer and go to a meeting. If you still feel the same way in a WEEK, lets talk about sending it out. But don't do anything when you are this furious. Don't allow her injustice to ruin your day or make you react in a way that you regret in a week.
You DO NOT need your MIL's approval, Julie. She is an enabler who has trained your H to be like this. She is part of the problem.
Your ANGER will go away; the damage you could cause by sending out a reactionary letter will not.
Write the letter and throw it in a drawer. Then get to a meeting.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Thanks. I can't get to a meeting tonight (Gosh am I the queen of 'scuses or WHAT?!?!) cuz we've got snow & EVERYTHING is canceled. I haven't checked out the online meetings yet, I could. I guess I just really need somebody in my corner right now, and to be honest I wish it were H. In my home. Our bed. Watching TV. Having dinner. I want it all back - this is too real. And scary, because I swore I wouldn't lower my standards again this time, I promised the kids. But I want to. I want to beg him to come home. I want to take it all back, forget being strong, this is making me question everything right now! I'm supposedly doing the right thing, yet I'm making enemies out of idiots. I can't win!!!
LIFE IS GOOD
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In my home. Our bed. Watching TV. Having dinner. I want it all back yes... except he'd be on his fifth beer by now smoking a joint in a basement.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> typical family fun night.... ARK
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Joined: Oct 2005
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You CAN win, stick with the plan. Don't slide back. Stay out of the drama.
Get to an online meeting tonight
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I would agree that it is pretty useless to send any type of response to her.
I put those things out there for you to see what you know to be fact. You are caring for minor children...she is enabling an adult son.
She will ALWAYS choose him over anyone else.
The dysfunction in that family runs high right now.
You have your work cut out for you. You survived the dysfunction for all these years, you can and will survive this.
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Honestly? More fun than this! I locked myself in my closet once tonight so the kids wouldn't see me fall apart. I don't get it...this is getting harder. I never questioned my own sanity quite so much!
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Thanks guys. Sorry for the pity party, not one of my prouder evenings. It's so much and I know I'll get thru it. I cannot even explain or justify how or why it is that I want him back or miss him so badly. You know what I need? I need a SPONSOR!! Yea, Ima get me one o' those this week!
LIFE IS GOOD
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Julie, it IS hard. You're breaking a mold that you have lived in your whole life. Stick with the program, collect yourself.
An on line meeting is the same is posting here
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I guess I just really need somebody in my corner right now, AHEMMMMM.... what are we.... Chopped Liver?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> committed
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ark, mel, sicko (it's a term of endearment), committed - I'm going to follow ALL of your advice. Writing an apology will surely shock them! Writing a letter will help, both now AND in a week when I pull it out & read it. And the online meeting is sure to help. Thanks so much, really.
LIFE IS GOOD
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AHEMMMMM.... what are we.... Chopped Liver?!?! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/wink.gif" alt="" /> committed No, no, not at all. More like, all I've got. I thank God for that, really I do.
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If you want me to join you in an alanon chat meeting later, I will "meet" you there. I can't get on unti later though.
Let me know what one you want to sign in to and the time and I will sign in too.
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I never questioned my own sanity quite so much!
That's because you have stopped the insanity. Your life up to this point has been insane and you didn't know it until you totally removed yourself from it.
It seems a bit strange to live without the crap. You know nothing else...of course it seems strange...but it's gonna be good...and you will wonder why you ever put up with it to begin with.
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NO! Why? I'm in WI. SOT, thanks for the offer...I'll dig up that link (it's in this thread somewhere, me thinks) & see if I can figure it out.
LIFE IS GOOD
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I don't know if I would write an apology letter....what did your letter to them say? Can you post a copy of it?
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I have to leave for about 30 minutes...get back to me about the meeting, OK? I'll be back.
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Hello to all,
I’m sending you this email with a heavy heart, to inform you that (H) & I are separated. He has chosen to leave our family home and is living in an apartment. (DD), (DS) & I are doing our best to be strong, stay busy, and work on healing us as we cope with this change and his lifestyle. I still love H and I will continue to do all I can to save our marriage and re-build our family. That choice is now his to make.
You are welcome to contact me if you like, by phone or email or other, although nothing is expected. Your thoughts & prayers are appreciated. Thank you for reading.
~Julie
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Well He%%% then.. If you don't live in Texas your life ain't nearly as bad as MelodyLanes... and that should make you feel pretty dayem good!!!!!!!!!!!!!! See It could be worse way Texass worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
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