That's great...

I may need to go to the I.M. store and get me one of those one of these days...LOL

Hope mine is as good as Julie's I.M.

<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/laugh.gif" alt="" />

VZW=Verizon. And if it's going to cost me, it's not going to happen. This is the first call he's placed to me in more than 2 months, and my IM got some schoolin' so it's not really a concern.

Man, what a day! I figure the rest of the week, at least, has got to be a cake-walk. Holy crap!

Mel, IM called me again & gave me a good talkin' to about my "bad guy" syndrome. I was a wreck before, but seriously, how very blessed I am! I got some GOOOOOOOD peeps in my corner!!

Interesting weekend. Very interesting indeed. I think my Grandma might call H. No matter if it's a good or a bad idea, she's 85+, she's got money, is VERY old fashioned & if she's going to call she's going to call. I'll post more later, maybe.

DUH, stupid me. One day I might learn to stop putting faith in those who supposedly love me & actually KNOW me...

Of course my Grandma's not going to call H. Neither is my mom or my aunt. Why? Because they don't get it. "A marriage is worth saving...I feel so bad for (DS), he really loves his dad & I'm sure he misses him...don't you think it's worth compromise? I know of somebody who was foreclosed, but they were able to live in their house at least another year before they had to get out...OH, he's not on the deed, so he CAN just walk away...I could help you, but that'd just be a Band-Aid..." (this part is true, actually)

Yes, yes, I'm actually on here to get the forms filled out. Yes they're printed, I just have to get them completed & ready to file. Gosh, my own family really gets me down. I'm trying to rise above the stupidity they've all taught me so well.

OH wait, KA-CHING! Look what I just found:

The e-filing website is designed to assist with completing and electronically filing documents. Your documents will be filed in circuit court of the county you selected as if you had filed the documents in person.

SA-WEET! No more 'scuses...LSA, here I come. Whew! Now I won't have to negotiate time off to file! WOOT!!

Hi Julie,

I'm back. I read your thread and I'm glad you received the daily readers.

What's going on today?

Today? Hmmmm...nothin'

Now Saturday, Saturday was the day to miss! Did you see that one? We got it under control though.

Then yesterday I got all these LSA forms printed out & collated, and DD's grandma (my x's mother) sent us home with oodles & oodles of groceries from her own pantry & fridge. DD & I both felt uncomfortable, but not enough to turn it down. Heck, our dinner last night & tonight was FREE - little embarrassing but so is not having food to feed my kids!

Today...well, here I sit, e-filing these LSA papers. By tomorrow, they will be in the circuit court system. 2.5 months too late. I am stubborn.

(YAY! You're back! I missed you! How are YOU!?!?!?)

I read about your weekend. I'm sorry I wasn't here but it looks like you did just fine. I am great...a week in sunshine, wearing shorts and T-shirts, etc. There was green grass, leaves on the tress and FLOWERS everywhere. Fantastic! Now back to good ole West Michigan weather. UGH!

I really hate that your H has left you the financial mess that he has. You need to contact your mortgage co immediately and tell them what's going on. Do not let this hit 90 days! Even after you file your LSA if will take some time for things to work through the system so contact your lender and work things out.

What's going on with your family? You sound disappointed in their actions/inactions in terms of your situation. Remember, you can't count on anyone else but you. And you are doing fine.

Thanks, and I know, you're right. It's so much...

Gotta file LSA (which I CAN'T do online, only small claims, nothing like the ol' run around) which I can do tomorrow

Gotta contact lender but it's hard thinking of doing so at work, all those ears. I'm just at 60 days now.

Gotta file those taxes - hidden in all that, there could be the solution ($) to some of these problems!

I don't work far from the courthouse, maybe I can go at lunch. And there was some fine print at the bottom of one of these forms, it says if I consider myself to be low-income (ya think??) I can fill out a form that'll be reviewed immediately, and possibly my filing fee waived!

That's all for now, folks. Glad you're tan!!

My papers have been notarized and are ready for processing. I plan to visit the courthouse tonight.

My boy has been suspended. Again. For 3 days. I cannot miss work - I haven't got the benefit time & can't afford to miss out money-wise either. They were very sympathetic, they know the situation here & I guess he was given plenty of warnings & heeded none of them. Apparently he's playing VERY rough, tripping & such. Maybe he shouldn't be watching wrestling w/dad after all? It's his "new thing".

I don't know what to do. I'll figure it out, but I'm stuck as far as punishment - not let him go to Alateen tonight? Not let him go w/H tomorrow? Not let him go to basketball Friday? I feel so bad for him, he's having a hard time & it seems he feels a need to prove himself more lately, and typically I won't punish for school-related things that school punishes for...I just don't know what to do. I feel like everything is falling apart & I'm trying so hard to hold what little we've got left together!

So, as for the boy, any suggestions, parents?

I kinda feel like H should have him, now, from tomorrow thru Sunday. I don't think that'll be a popular solution though?

My opinion with your son is that Alateen and seeing your H should not be used at punishments. Alateen is for your DS's recovery-- so taking this away just doesn't seem right. And if you withhold your H from your DS as a punishment, he will eventually resent you for not letting you see his dad.

The punishment should fit the "crime". I'm not sure about the basketball one-- this one seems a little more on par-- but also, if he's playing for a team, you don't want to disappoint the team because he's not there. Plus, this is probably a good stress release for him right now.

Is there something else that you can use as a punishment? Like no TV or no video games or computer games for those days that he's been suspended-- and he has to stay in the house and can't see any friends for those days? I would say using those three days that he will have to be home to show him that he'd "rather" be in school "behaving" then sitting at home bored out of his mind (if he can't go outside, can't play video games or watch TV) that would work nicely?

Hard to advise without really knowing your son personally, I guess, or his personality or what he likes or responds to.

And kudos on you personal strides forward <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> I am still lurking and reading here <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

TT

I agree I shouldn't take away Alateen or the night w/H. I still think H should have him from tomorrow till Sun, as I really don't know what else to do w/him! One of H's drinkin' buddies has the day off tomorrow, but I'm not going to send him there, even though I'm desperate.

Basketball IS his release, that's why I signed him up for it, it's not a team. But he doesn't get to have that release if he can't be responsible at school. It will sting extra this week too, because it's his weekend w/H & I was going to have H take him - this was exciting to DS. So, that's gone. Sigh

I just can't be the dad! He thinks SO HIGHLY of his dad, (not that I regret his example is removed from every day life given his choices) I know he's struggling, I hate to punish him!

Have him write an essay about how bad behavior affects those around him.

Hi Julie,

It hurts to see our kids hurt but he does have to learn that there are consequences to our actions. His Dad hasn't learned that lesson yet. Don't deny your sweet boy this important lesson about his behavior.

Don't was visitation as punishment, bribery, etc, never a good idea. Missing Alateen is like missing a doctor's appointment, again not a suitable punishment. TeaTea menioned taking away TV, video games, etc. In my house this is a huge punishment. A few chores tossed in there too.

He needs a strong parent more than ever and that, my dear, is you. Don't back down because you feel bad for him (I feel bad for him too) or he will learn that he can manipulate you again and again. His Dad has gotten away with that for a long time.

I am so so sorry.

Alright, so we missed DS's Dr. appt (Alateen). I stressed myself into a massive headache. Work has been S L O W meaning commissions are sure to S U C K, I got to the courthouse JUST in time to see them off for the day! Yea, all notarized, organized & filled out, but not filed. Tomorrow, I say. NO I am NOT putting it off intentionally!

So, about tomorrow...a friend has offered to keep DS till 12:15 when she goes to work. Has offered to make sure he scrubs the floors. Now, it pains me to think of this - the embarrassment, the humiliation, but maybe that's what he needs? Anyway, then I can take 1/2 a sick day the next 3 days if necessary instead of 3 whole sick days.

I might lose my job, but I'm not losing my house, not for now! HA! (I have to laugh. Crying is...SO LAST MONTH!!)

So while my head pounded I finally called the mortgage company. Paid 1 of the 2 payments. They're signing me up for a program of deferrment so I won't have to pay again till April. Woot! Maybe by April....

H's head will be out of his [censored]?
Commissions will be THRU THE ROOF??
LSA order/CS/maintenance will be in effect, rendering the 2 above possibilities pointless?
I will be the next WI Lotto winner?
I'll be in the Bahamas??

SO that's that. My head is seriously hurting, so I'm going to make this visit a short one. I intend to get those papers filed tomorrow & have H served via IM once he drops kids back off home. Basketball Friday: OFF

Bravo to Julie! As far as your boy, don't cut off anything like basketball or wrestling. He NEEDS that kind of stuff right now to work off his aggression. He needs that outlet BADLY! He is angry about his home situation and is acting out. Please be understanding but FIRM with him, Julie.

GOOD JOB ON THE MORTGAGE SITUATION!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

Don't cut him off bball?

But...have him scrub the floors?

Tell me, tell me! I don't want to make matters worse & I haven't "issued" anything just yet 'cept for shoveling when I got home.

The Wrestling I'm referring to is on TV. WWE. It's what he & H do on Friday & Saturday nights, apparently. Not talk or read or play games. And I fear he is re-enacting this stuff his new-found heroes are teaching him on the tube.

It's not up to me to cut that part off anyway, since we don't watch it here & he'll be w/H tomorrow. You don't think I should have H take him? Keep him out of it?

No, no, no, that stuff is GREAT FOR HIM. He is being a bad [censored] at school because his home life is in turmoil. That wrestling stuff with his dad and his basketball is a great CHANNEL for his aggression. You don't even want to touch that activity.

Your boy is ANGRY and upset, and you don't want to take away his only outlets for his aggression.

Instead, take away something like TV and/or give him extra chores.