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Re: How can I help my wife? ... my terrible story.
HerPapaBear #2012488 01/20/08 02:22 PM
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
S
StrongerThanB4 Offline
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StrongerThanB4
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S Offline
Joined: Oct 2007
Posts: 537
LTH,

I am actually glad you are here to help with recovery. I have read your thread and let me tell you how much i wish my WH would be willing to say the things you are now saying about your wife. I truely hope things work out with you and your wife and i will be saying prayers for you both.

Truth can stand on it's own two feet....A lie needs support....FRM
Re: How can I help my wife? ... my terrible story.
StrongerThanB4 #2012489 01/20/08 10:06 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9
L
lied_to_her
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lied_to_her
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L Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 9
Thanks everyone for the encouragement. I am glad that you all hear me saying the right things. Still, I have said a lot of things to my wife over this last year and a half and as good as they sounded, many were lies. I am no longer lying, but how could anyone know that? So … only actions mean anything. We are moving to be close to her family. I am leaving my job, not easy. We are drawing up a VERY strict post nuptial agreement. I tell her I love her, am being affectionate, apologizing, whatever I can think of. What are the other important things? What stands out to you? She is still so terrified, she still doesn't feel loved. She still wonders what happened to the moral, selfless man she married ...

more later ... thoughts and fears
Re: How can I help my wife? ... my terrible story.
lied_to_her #2012490 01/21/08 02:17 PM
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
H
HerPapaBear Offline
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HerPapaBear
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H Offline
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
LTH,

Have you given any thought to committing to marriage counseling with the Harleys here at marriage builders, and/or the weekend away???

Also, let us know who your wife is if she starts posting here.




Recovery began 10/07;

Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
Re: How can I help my wife? ... my terrible story.
lied_to_her #2012491 01/21/08 03:49 PM
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 91
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storm1974 Offline
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storm1974
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S Offline
Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 91
Wow, so much of this kind of made me sad. To hear you say all the things you're saying about your wife and how much you want to fix things and how sorry you are for what you did to her...I really hope that these are sincere feelings and like someone else mentioned, that you follow through. And don't stop after a month or when you start getting annoyed at her triggers or at her neediness...just keep going until she feels ok with you again. It will take a long time, I'm sure. To feel good in your relationship and feel special will take her a long time but not as long if you don't do all that you say you're going to do.

Storm (formerly known as Storm33)

Me (BS) (35)- Slowly recovering
Him (FWH) 41
Married since August 2007
D-Day - November 16, 2007

'Kaizen - Japanese for Continual Improvement'
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