Post deleted by mlhb

Hi mlhb,
I too was in this situation. In my opinion, if it means something to you to have those things back, then I would suggest either calling or sending an email as soon as possible...instead of dragging it out further. I requested my things back but did not receive all. I chalked them off.

I then let my XBF know that if the things that were mine were not included in the first exchange, then I didn't want them back on down the road. I did however make sure that he received ALL the things that belonged to him...

I think with mine, it was more of a "wonder how she's doin' without me, and I can find out because I still have some things of hers"...I don't know.

I still think of him from time to time, but can't imagine holding on to his things (as he is doing with yours) that it wouldn't be a constant reminder for him....unless of course he has disposed of your things already.

I would suggest evaluating what he has and determine if its replacable or not and decide one way or the other. You're on the road to recovery and I'd hate to see any setbacks.

Hugs,
Diamond

Post deleted by mlhb

Maybe you wouldn't have to open the door for communication...what would happen if you boxed up the things that you have...would he do the same? Again, going back to "is it worth it"? I'd just hate to see him on down the road, contact you for the things that you have of his, regardless of their value...

I just needed to make it VERY clear to my XBF that no more contact would be able to be made...we choose this path and we needed to continue on it.

Looking back, there aren't very many "gifts" that I was given...his house, however has them all over...some people I suppose can overlook and not "remember" where those things came from...I'm not one of them...

I took the engagement ring that we had exchanged and traded it in on something else. Had to give myself a "pat on the back" for that one. The other few items, are boxed and in the garage. Out of sight, out of mind...

You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. How's a person to truly know that that wasn't the relationship for them if those efforts and second chances were not made? Now, for me, there are no more "doubts" after so many tries...and as long as we learn from our past and our past relationships/mistakes, we can incorporate that in our next relationship and possibly have the outcome we want.

I was upset as well, I would've had over a year under my belt...but, I know that it will never happen again and I look forward to the "next chapter" in my life.

Post deleted by mlhb

IMO

No one can put YOU through "craziness". We are responsible with how we let people treat us.

You had a LDR with him for less than a year and it's been 6 months since it's been over. I personally am tired of seeing you entirely blame Gekko for the failed relationship. And what's even more unfair is that he's not here to defend himself against your constant dwelling on the circumstances. What happened or didn't happen between you two should stay between you two. You both have/had "friends" on this board and quite frankly that kind of stuff is on a "need to know" basis...and we don't need to know.

Mail his stuff back to him, put a note in it asking him to return your items and you'll either get a package back or you won't. There are always two sides to every story. You need to accept your role in the failure of the relationship and build a bridge and get over it already.

With the utmost sincerity
Ronda

Post deleted by mlhb

Post deleted by mlhb

Ummm I AM friends with a handful of people, male and female, from MB AND talk with them on messenger and through emails...since when is that a crime?

I was no where near "lashing" out at you. I just simply stated there is ALWAYS two sides to EVERY story and that things that happened between you two should stay between you two.

I can't say that I am surprised by your response btw

I won't get into a war of words with you as that isn't my style. I also won't put you on ignore as that's just something I see no reason for.

I'm done...I've said my peace.

Again with the utmost sincerity
Ronda

alluring, please do not post on my thread anymore. i have you on ignore anyway so it is really pointless. people who read and post on my thread are those who are my friends and supporters. i honestly do not feel you have ever been either one of those for me, for whatever reasons. that is fine. since you are tired of hearing from me anyway, i would imagine there is no need for you to read my threads.

thank you for respecting my wishes.

mlhb

LOL then how do you know I responded. Last I knew this place was an open forum. Also you would have known by now if I was a friend or supporter so you are correct there.

I will stop reading your posts when you stop referring to/slandering Gekko and/or your failed relationship with him in your posts. He's not here to defend himself for whatever reason.

I stand behind people whom I feel deserve my support and if you don't like it...I'm truly sorry.

Respectfully
Ronda

mhlb,

I have been following this thread and the point that I feel Alluring is making is gekko is someone we know (in the virtual sense at least). Most of here have corresponded with him through this forum and he is/was a member of the MB family.

I know you were extremely hurt by all this but none of us have read any posts from gekko with his side of the story. Maybe he respects your privacy?

i understand what you are saying B. quite honestly, he told he was not posting here anymore a while ago because he was not a believer in this forum nor in most of the people who post here. he spoke very low of this place.

i, on the other hand, felt it was a place where i could share, and vent, and get advice and support. i understand he was a member here, but not a contributing one for very long, and he does not really buy into any of the principles here. this is the only message board i have ever belonged to or been on and i have been here a long time. i consider most everyone here friends and felt it was my safe place to talk and vent and cry if need be. further more, if you are going to say that you need "both sides of the story" just because i dated someone who was once a member here, i think we should say that to any one of us who dates or has a relationship, breaks up and wants to vent about it here. sorry, we know you are hurting but we are not getting both sides of the story so.... what is the difference? i have been here almost 3 years. he posted for a few months. i think you all know me wayyyy better then you guys knew him. not saying that means you should take sides, i am not asking anyone to do that, i just feel this was my safe place to vent, just as many others of you have about exes, and you were never told that "gee, we're only getting one side of the story".. see what i am saying? keith, i know what you are trying to say when you said that, but it works for everyone then. i have a lot of respect for you keith and think you are a great guy. but i feel if you are going to say that then it goes for everyone who may come here and vent, not just me. it is not like exbf posted here for several years and you truly knew him. people here hardly knew him at all!

i have my resolution to the initial question i posted about so i see no need to continue on with the same topic.

he is free to post here anytime he likes btw, it is an open board. however, i can tell you, i never lied to him, i never looked at another man while with him let alone sleep with one, never dissed him, never was not there for him. i was just a fool for not enforcing boundaries. my bad.

but i agree, lets move onto something else since my one question has been resolved. am i still healing from the hurt? yes i am. but i am doing 100% better than i was. and my life is going great and i plan 2008 to be a great year for me, which was the original point of this thread.

as far as alluring goes, she has never been friendly or supportive of me, and the stunt she pulled with IMing gekko caused me to lose any ounce of respect i may have had for her. that was extremely inappropriate. i have never done anything to her but that is ok, i don't expect everyone to like me nor do i expect to like everyone. that is why i have put her on ignore and asked her to kindly not post on my threads anymore.

on that note, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY EVERYONE! if you have a valentine good for you, and if not, be your own valentine. it is still all good :-)

mlhb

in fact, to show that this topic is closed, i will delete the posts about my question so that nothing about exbf is visible.

mlhb

Again....when did IMing anyone become a crime?

You sound like an extremely jealous person with no reason at least from my end.

Now I AM DONE as you are trying to drag me into your drama and that's one thing I will not put up with and not why I come to this forum.

Ronda

wow! I got 2 dozen carnations delivered to my door today from a wonderful man.... awwww... so sweet. think i will continue my friendship with this one!

how was everyone else's valentine's day?

mlhb

Michelle - very nice I am glad you had a nice Valentines Day...

thank you! i did have a nice one :-) how about you?

mlhb

So, how was everyone's weekend? I spent mine painting and redoing my dining room, moving furniture, going to hockey sectionals out of town, shopping at the mall with my kids, getting a new purse (hey purses and shoes..) and hit up the sale at bath and body works. Spent a relaxing Sunday chilling out and getting ready for the weight loss group I will be leading at work 2 days this week and starting 3 days next week. And, ho hum, back to work today. Oh, and I updated our family blog as well.

Anyone do anything fun?

mlhb

well, the great guy i was building a nice friendship with will continue, at this point in time to just be friends. i am a little disappointed but totally understand as well. we had not gotten past the friendship part but were deciding to see where it might lead to. but, for reasons i won't mention, that is not to be for right now and i am perfectly fine with that. he is a great friend and will remain that, no hard feelings. and considering we do not live in the same area, that makes that decision easier as well. it is probably for the best right now as i have learned over these past few weeks that i still have some unresolved anger and resentment apparently from exbf that i probably should work on lest it make me too bitter.

so, it is all good and at least i still have some gorgeous flowers in my dining room to look at!

mlhb