M-W we were with him going to work, coming home and lunch. Leaving little opportunity for contact. I had a feeling though he would see her yesterday at lunch. Sure enough he came home crying. (he is not really a crier). He said he woke up Thursday morning wondering how things got to where they are. He met with her to return "her stuff" and ended the relationship.
sure.... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
He said you wanted to know its over, well its over. I asked only a few questions. Trying to keep my emotions under control. I had asked him not to do that in person and to include me.
WH couldn't say what he wanted to say to Turd-girl if his
wife was present.
This act of defiance & disregard of your wellbeing is another RED FLAG !
This morning as he left I gently warned him that he needed to be prepared that it may not really be over. He looked at me and teared up and said "no, its over"
sure .... <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
When a wayward "ends" the A in person & alone, it ain't usually "over" in the sense that he will never speak to her or see her or email her or text her EVER again.
What the wayward means by "it's over" is "for now".
Their "good-bye" was "alien-closure" .... which usually goes like:
"I know what we did was wrong according to society & we can never be together because society won't let us, but I want you to know that you will always hold a special place in my heart & I will cherish our time together. Good-bye." *sniff*sniff*
<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
They leave each other with gooey eyes .... and then, when they can no longer stand it .... one of them sends a feeler contact to the other.
To be honest this time he looked broken and it seemed very real. Of course I have my doubts.
verify EVERYTHING
I think all the pressures from plan A destroyed the fantasy.
Plan A increased his ambivalence, but did not destroy the fantasy of the OW. Sorry.
Now, do I ask for more details about this meeting? Or do I just focus on our M instead of the A? What next?
I'd focus on the M.
PLUS
put a GPS on his car (money is tight? buy a used one. start a thread here asking if anyone has a second hand GPS they want to sell cheaply. Look on Craigslist for GPS.)
Get every password for all his electronic communication avenues.
Place a voice activated tape recorder in his car.
He is no way trustworthy after going against your wishes and meeting Turd-girl ALONE. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/tongue.gif" alt="" />