I will add your neice to my prayer list. Please keep us posted.

Mazel Tov on the dryer and washer. They make life so much easier, don't they?

Wow, it is hard to believe it's been a year that we have been friends on this road. You have inspired me and help me when I needed it, and for that I thank you.

Glad you could reclaim V-Day as something of you own again, and thanks for sharing it with me.

Hi Queen, I really do appreciate that, the prayers that is and the congrats!

Hi, E! I was looking at your stats and didn't realize that you've been separated for over a year...and you are just NOW where you are in the process...I imagine my D will take longer than a year also...

Still no word from my Lawyer...that's cool...it will happen when it happens...things are still going well on the home front...still struggling with OS and his grades...poor test scores...but YS is well, and we are all happy!

Thanks Rin,

How is your neice doing? Each week during shabbat we say a mi'sheberach prayer which is for the healing and restoring of people. My rabbis' have always commented on they don't know how it works, but they know it does. She is in my thoughts as you are.

Hi, thanks for asking...I spoke with my sister tonight...she said that they removed the breathing tube tonight and they may remove the chest tube tomorrow since it's not draining like it was...

All in all, she doing well so far...I'm going to New Orleans Sat. to visit...

I really need some me time in here some where...

I wish that I could block STBX from TMing me...I usually ignore but it's getting to be a pain...I've even considered changing my number...still don't want to do that just yet...

Tons of assumptions about me in regards to him, then the guilt trips, or some excuse to contact me...same stuff, different day...

I need some Rin TLC...

WEll, I need to get in bed, we were all late through my alarm clock...

I'm glad she is doing as well as can be. I'll keep the prayers up.

You take care of yourself. New Orleans, that is one place I would love to see one day.

Are you sure there isn't a way to block him? Can you call the phone company and ask?

Sleep well and keep us posted.

Hey Rin!


Hope you got a bit of rest. I am glad to hear that your neice is coming along. I'll keep you all in my prayers (as always)!

Hey Rin!


Hope you got a bit of rest. I am glad to hear that your neice is coming along. I'll keep you all in my prayers (as always)!

So, what's up with a lot of TMs from STBX? What kind of boundry did you set for him on communication? You can have TM disabled on your phone, it's not a big deal.

Have a safe trip to N.O. tomorrow! Wish I were with you,,,,,we'd do lunch at Commander's Palace!!!

Morning guys! I limited communication to just the kids, but I've noticed that he uses that as an excuse to ask me why I've doing what I'm doing or why am I acting this way, what did he do to me, is it b/c he didn't swap weekends with me....

I don't answer him...then when I don't I'm being childish, blah, blah, blah...he's not the one that needs to grow up...blah, blah, blah...you need to let go of the past...blah, blah, blah...I'm a good guy, been nothing but nice to you...

Last night I told him to leave me alone or I would file for another restraining order...so I'm going to see what that does before I do anything else..he backed down last time the law got involved, so I'm counting on the fact that he doesn't want to get in trouble with them...I like the idea of disabling TMing, I didn't think of that one, so thanks!

Queen, I'll be very happy when the cell phone companies come out with a call block service...there's no other way...

LAst night, TMs started out with Can you call me after your meeting? I said Why? He said never mind, I left it alone...knowing that if wasn't about the kids...then I get the same questions, then, after I turned my cell phone back on, I got "fine, it was about my neice but I guess she's not important enough for me to care about!"

I thought it would be something like that and it didn't surprise me when I got the excuse and guilt trip...well, it just so happened that my sister called my cell about a minute after I turned it back on and I explained what happened...she said no problem, I'll let him know how she's doing...so, she was nice enough to remove that excuse for him...but he'll come up with another...

This is just him trying to control again and what has worked for him is not working now, so he's trying whatever he can to get me to have contact with him...if he persists I will disable Tming...

My goal is peace of mind...

Rin,

WHY do you need to let him know how your niece is doing? You have already ignored him on that, let it go. Giving in to it after the fact only encourages him to continue the attempts at contact.

JMHO

That's it BUGS I don't...I don't owe him a thing...that was my sister's choice to contact him after I mentioned that I had just turned my cell phone on and explained why I had it turned off...

I guess I could have asked her not to contact him...

As far as I'm concerned I don't owe him a darn thing...I'll have to ask my sister if she did contact him when I see her tomorrow...explain that by her contacting him it may encourage more contact or him trying to dig for info from her...like one of his messages was that we have to get along b/c we have kids together...I thought to myself, I don't have to do anything but die...

Rin:

You have gotten SO STRONG.

That strengh is scary to WPOS.

You have given him a way to get in.

Stop that. You can co-ordinate kids activities just fine without cell phones and TM's.

Get a new phone.

With a NEW number.

He doesn't like his position of weakness. But, he is trying to bring you back down to the morass.

Don't let him.

The view is getting better for you all the time, and no reason to stop that, right?

(((RIN)))

LG

Howdy Rin! YOu sound like you are doing MAHVELOUSLY!

As for the contact regarding your niece, you are not and have never been responsible for him keeping up with his/your family. He can call the hospital, contact your sister or OTHER members of the family. Don't get caught up in owning what is not yours to own.

.

LG, THANKS MAN!!! I REALLY APPRECIATE THAT!!!

Well, I had no contact with him until tonight...he dropped the kids off and handed me a check for two CS payments...I'll be visiting the jeweler tomorrow to get my D/10 yr. anniversary present to myself! I fine way to celebrate a new beginning and the means to an end at the same time...

My niece was released today! SHE'S AMAZING!!! DOING WONDERFUL!!! Thank you all for your prayers!!!

SL, I got you and I talked to my sister about that too! I also mentioned to her that it's not my responsible to let him know how the kids are doing in school or things like meetings too!

Last night, my SM came home with me while my sister stayed at teh hospital...it was girl's night and two of my friends were able to make it to eat supper and watch a movie...we all had a great time!

I have a repair to do on my car, my check engine light came on, so I have the parts and will be doing that soon as I can...easy stuff...

Great weekend with my sister, SM, niece, and friends...I'm doing really well...Friday, I relaxed around the house...did some shopping...and Sat, and today was back and forward from New Orleans...Life is good!

I just think that I have to learn more of what's my business and not enable ANYONE!!

Isn't it amazing how prayers can heal someone.

And that the stupid choices aren't our responsibility either.

How very true on both...

I'm still dealing with a little guilt for standing up for myself...drawing that line, having it crossed, and having to follow through with my last and final boundary...

Like I said a little guilt but I will get over it...b/c I know that what I'm doing I should not feel that way...that what I'm choosing to do now, is just part of a process of progressive boundaries...that I have to protect myself becasue I'm the only one who knows my limits and what I can and will not tolerate...

Good Morning! Someone, emailed me, LOL, b/c I haven't posted and update! LOL Wanted to know if I was okay! I have been doing great! Really busy, I fixed my car on my own, service engine soon light came on last Sun., I went to Autozone and had them run the code, picked up a new thermostat, changed it out, and the light is now GONE!!!

I am so proud of myself for that, never did anything like it before, but I got it done for about $8 bucks...

NC with STBX since last Sun. when he dropped off the kids and gave my two payments of CS...it's been really peaceful around here without him...

Tonight begins cajun French classes at our church sponsored by out indian tribe, the Houmas Indians, which we are part of, and YS and I would like to learn so we will be attending that! OS's not interested but he will be dragged along too!

I have also been looking for a job, the process is slow, but it will come when I need it too!

Well, I have to get dressed for work! Been busy there too! I'll try to check in tonight!
Have a great day!

23 days left! No word from my lawyer, but I do know that everything was on his desk for him to look over things...I'm looking forward to the end of this!
Rin

Hi Rin,

That is awesome about the car. Good for you. I think that kind of independence can only make you feeling stronger about yourself.

I am really happy about your niece. Keep us posted on how she progresses.

I really am learning alot about how you are learning to set boundaries and move on with your life. Thank you for sharing.

French cajun classes, mmmm does that sound good. What kinds of food will you be making?

LOL...it's learning to speak French...I know some...but I would like to know more...

I do feel good about the car thing...I have always been mechanically inclined...all I did was get teh code, researched it online, found instructions, and got my tools out and went after it!

As far as I know, Farrah's doing wonderful, they removed her stitches b/f she left the hospital, I'll have to call my sister and check on her...thanks for asking!

Boundaries, wow, I remember when I first came here and was freaking out b/c I didn't know what boundaries were and here I am today, enforcing them b/c they feel good to be...no more backing down...that feels great! At least compared to what I use to feel like...you know back down, hold resentments, etc...mad a t the world all the time...sad way to live! You're very welcome!

Do you think that it was you who learned this behavior or your relationship that created it.

I went back and read some of your writings and it seems very similar to mine. Was your STBX a super controlling person who played games with you?

I'll be excited to hear about your niece.

Cajun French, I bet that is a beautiful language. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" /> How did you learn the language so far.