Here is the letter that I drafted to the OW BH. What do you think? Should I send it?

Dear M,

J has done a lot of thinking and came to me, without prompting, to declare that he has been denying an affair that he and Julie have been having for the past 4+ years. It started when they were at Good Sam and there were several occasions when they met after they "ended it" in the spring after they were caught in a lie by me. Among other meetings, Julie stayed with him for several days once in Las Vegas (when at a sleep clinic) and for several days once in Los Angeles (when she drove home from Texas with a car).

He says that he saw Julie last when he went to Portland just after last Thanksgiving. He hasn't talked with Julie since then and has made adjustments to e-mail to block her. Apparently he missed one and Julie recently wrote him a note threatening to expose the affair to me. Whether or not that note is true, I don't know.

I have written to Julie and told her that I know. I suggested that Julie tell you and try to work on her own marriage. She forwarded the emails to J without comment. He did not respond.

I wish that I did not know what I know, but I have faith that it will help me to recover and move forward. I hope that it can do the same for you. I know that if it were reversed, I would want to know.

Sincerely,

Good letter but I would modify the part where you say there is No Contact and say that 'as far as you know there is no contact'.

Also set up a mechanism for the two of you to compare notes in the future. This is a war and you need to marshal your forces

I wrote quite a lengthy letter to the OW because I needed for her to feel my pain. This was an emotional affair my husband had with a co-worker. She was relentless in her persuit and he caved --- silly man! Anyway, I "let her have it". This was only helpful to me and the only person I gave it to was H. He read it and understands what I'm feeling to a point. But, sending it to her ran me into the possibility of waking a sleeping giant. All I'm saying is be careful. Once you put something into print, it's fair game and can be used against you in the future. Keep your chin up. If, in your heart you really love your husband and think you can move forward with him, do what you have to do.

HTM,

I haven't taken the time to read thru all of your numerous threads so I can't advise you on anything other than to stick to one thread.

Tell your story and keep on using the same thread to get your questions answered. That way, folks who do want to help out won't have to go hunting for details.

Also, I suggest posting that one thread on GQII since it gets loads more activity.

Best,

Who

Hey Who...
Curiously, how long and how uphill was the battle? We are one year into it and probably only 5 months since he told EA that he was committed here and had no intentions of leaving me and his family. I know there's really no time limit on this stuff, but I was wondering if there was a guide? Thanks.