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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 29
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 29 |
Does anyone have any ideas on how to deal with and/or react to a H who is being resitant to the POJA strategy? He gives me excuses of how he forgets every time. He is just independent, he says. He doesn't see the need to talk over and negotiate anything in our marriage. I have begun to be independent from him as well now, but do not know if that is the answer. I am sooooooo frustrated. I feel like telling him that if he wants independence he can leave and live on his own. We have our first councseling session tomorrow. HELP
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 6,714 |
Are you counseling with someone who understands the principle of POJA? I'd bring up the concept of POJA in the MC session. Discuss the concept only and try to get committment to the principle.
If your husband disagrees with the concept of POJA, you have a difficult problem. It's tantamount to saying "My happiness is more important than your comfort." That's not the attitude of someone who feels he has been made one with his spouse.
Divorced.
2 Girls
Remarried 10/11/08
Widowed 11/5/08
Remarrying 12/17/15
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 29
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Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 29 |
Greengables,
We are going to a biblical counselor, and I have no idea if they know of this or any of the ideas on this website or in the books. There are many many issues my H and I need to deal with. He just resists or closes up or gets angry when we talk. I asked him yesterday when he was going to open up and have a discussion with me so we can begin to negotiate like we need to. He says he is trying. I also know he has issues with honesty as well, so I find it hard to believe anything he says. However, I will be sure to share the POJA with the counselor tomorrow. Thank you.
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