What questions were asked in the polygraph test?

have u any sexualpartners besides your husband since u have been married?

did u have sex with him?

did he force himself on u?

have u seen him since that day?

she had low passes on the test. but before the exam she excused herself to the bathroom. i dont know if you can tak epills or something to help u pass, but i swear i heard pills being opened. its a very quiet a serious environment in the testing centers.

thats why people ask is she a psychopath.

about being raped im not sure...she freaks makes a sound of pain when i have sex with her and cries...im scared. i hope my story doesnt sound crazy. i dont know what to do. i grew gray hair over this.

Here is something I found on psychopath, does this sound like your wife?

A psychopath will use people for excitement, entertainment, to build their self-esteem and they invariably value people in terms of their material value (e.g. money, property, comfort, etc..). They can involve and get other people into trouble quickly and they seem to have no regret for their actions. To date there is no checklist of behavior and symptoms that will tell you with certainty whether or not a person is a psychopath. But there are warning signs. The following warning signs are based on my experience but primarily research conducted by Robert Hare, Ph.D - the leading expert on the Psychopathic Personality.

Characteristics of a Psychopath
superficial charm
self-centered & self-important
need for stimulation & prone to boredom
deceptive behavior & lying
conning & manipulative
little remorse or guilt
shallow emotional response
callous with a lack of empathy
living off others or predatory attitude
poor self-control
promiscuous sexual behavior
early behavioral problems
lack of realistic long term goals
impulsive lifestyle
irresponsible behavior
blaming others for their actions
short term relationships
juvenile delinquency
breaking parole or probation
varied criminal activity

The idea that psychopaths eat people is a myth. In reality, a person with a psychopathic personality can lead what appears to be an ordinary life. They can have jobs, get married and they can break the law like anyone else. But their jobs and marriages usually don’t last and their life is usually on the verge of personal chaos. They are almost always in some kind of trouble or they are not far from it.

A psychopath is usually a subtle manipulator. They do this by playing to the emotions of others. They typically have high verbal intelligence, but they lack what is commonly referred to as "emotional intelligence". There is always a shallow quality to the emotional aspect of their stories. In particular they have difficulty describing how they felt, why they felt that way, or how others may feel and why. In many cases you almost have to explain it to them. Close friends and parents will often end up explaining to the psychopath how they feel and how others feel who have been hurt by him or her. They can do this over and over with no significant change in the person's choices and behavior. They don't understand or appreciate the impact that their behavior has on others. They do appreciate what it means when they are caught breaking rules or the law even though they seem to end up in trouble again. They desperately avoid incarceration and loss of freedom but continue to act as if they can get away with breaking the rules. They don't learn from these consequences. They seem to react with feelings and regret when they are caught. But their regret is not so much for other people as it is for the consequences that their behavior has had on them, their freedom, their resources and their so called "friends." They can be very sad for their self. A psychopath is always in it for their self even when it seems like they are caring for and helping others. The definition of their "friends" are people who support the psychopath and protect them from the consequence of their own antisocial behavior. Shallow friendships, low emotional intelligence, using people, antisocial attitudes and failure to learn from the repeated consequences of their choices and actions help identify the psychopath.

Psychopaths with low intelligence or a poor education seem to end up in jail more than ones with a higher education. The lack of emotional insight is the first good sign you may be involved with a psychopath. The second best sign is a history of criminal behavior in which a person does not seem to learn from their experience, but merely thinks about ways to not get caught.

So what happens to these poor kids if they don’t learn right from wrong? Parents with a child like this usually end up angry and frustrated. They will often shield their child from the consequences of their decisions and take the role of continuously trying to educate their child as to right and wrong. The child is always in trouble and doesn’t seem to learn. Their parents may begin to excuse their child's behavior believing their child will eventually "get it." When they don't, many parents resort to punishment. But what these children need is intensive guidance, instruction, training, choices, consequences and supervision. Severe and repeated punishment alone is the worst thing you can do. Letting a child like this run around unsupervised with violent and antisocial children is almost as bad. And child abuse is a sure way to create a social misfit or a monster.

There is a growing discussion among researchers to suggest there may be a genetic influence that creates a psychopathic personality. The psychopath may lack the ability to physically feel what others identify as the physical sensation of guilt. They can feel fear, anger, sadness in the moment but not guilt for what they did or what they are about to do. Some sociologists believe that a sexually promiscuous psychopath who can live off others is a survivor and may represent one of many genes for survival in the human species. Even more surprising has been the observation that many adult psychopaths do not seem to benefit from support, counseling or therapy and may in fact commit crimes again and sooner because of it. Research using brain scanning technology has revealed that the brain of a psychopath functions and processes information differently. One famous brain imaging study showed that psychopaths can remain calm looking photos of dead bodies in automobile accidents where as other people were clearly upset. They don't use their brain they way others do. This suggests that they may be physically different from normal people.

Are you involved with a psychopath? You may not know because they can be very charming and friendly until you get close and disappoint them. Don’t assume anyone is a psychopath based on their behavior alone. It is the pattern of their life and many other factors. Please don’t go around assuming or calling someone a psychopath just because they may have some of the warning signs. Get a professional opinion from a qualified mental health professional if you think you are involved with a psychopath.

I agree that something isn't right but I can't tell you what. I just posted something on psychopaths. The key to figuring out if this applies to your WW is her past behavior. Take out her A and look at the rest. She very well may have been raped. She could feel she brought it on herself. Victims of rape do not always react the same way. Some don't even realize they have been raped until years later.

Someone here said you are not making it safe for her to talk to you and I have to agree. What would make you feel better, the truth? If that is your goal you have to make a safe invironment for her to tell you the truth. From what you have told us about your reaction I wouldn't want to talk to you for fear of your reaction. Even if I was raped I wouldn't feel safe telling you. Is there someone in your life that your WW trusts? Could that person talk to your wife?

As for the pills, there may be something you can take but pills take time to get through your system. How long was it from when you think you heard her taking pills and the actual test?

Also you said people ask is she a psychopath. What people?

Finally I didn't see a time line. When did this happen? When did she take the test?

we walked into the office and sat down filled out the paperwork. she then excused herslf to the restroom. we discusssed the reason for being hear for thirty minutes after she came out. I left the room and she took the test.

she took the test two months after dday

Am I crazy for still being in this marriage?
Someone talk some sense into me.

Hello is anyone there?

Hey K,
I am here. I lost track of your post. How are you doing today? What is going on?

K,
Here are 2 questions I had asked you before.

Also you said people ask is she a psychopath. What people?

Finally I didn't see a time line. When did this happen? When did she take the test?

Could you answer them? It is especially important to know the time line in order to help you. Give as much info as you feel comfortable with starting with when you met, got married, when the Affair happened etc.

No you are not crazy. Do you want someone to talk sense into you or do you want someone to talk you into something? Only YOU can decide if you want to remain married to your wife.
Do you still love her?
Do you trust her?
Do you think she still loves you?
Do you think your wife is afraid of you and your reactions?

Kreepa,

I walked in on my wife and OM, also on my couch. By walked in, I mean they were screwing when I opened the front door. My d-day was about 20 months ago. My W was honest, transparent, and remorseful from the beginning. She told me OM's name, cell number, etc. I've done everything humanly possible to make sure it's completely over.

Even so, I have plenty of days when I'm a wreck. To this day, I wish I had killed him and said I thought he was a rapist. God knows what will happen if I ever see him out in public.

In your case, I don't know what to say. Your W sounds a little off-kilter. Don't hit her, no matter what. She will rip you apart during a divorce if you've got that on your record.

I've been married for 12 years and have 2 kids. I decided to try this one time, and it's been the most difficult thing I've ever tried, including raising children. If I was nearly a newlywed, I think I'd cut my losses and start over.

Married 5/6/06
D-Day 9/29/07
Poly 11/30/07

I'm screwed, huh.

How do I add this to my signature so I dont have to retype it all the time.

I love her
I don't trust her. She seems to lie about the most insignificant of things
I don't know if she loves me...she says so but I just don't know.
She knows I would never touch her..is that why she pulls of crap like like this?

O.k. I will say it. You are crazy. You have been married for less than 2 years and she has put you through ******. She lies about everything so how in the ****** could you ever trust or believe in her. She is at the very least a compulsive liar. You virtually catch her having sex with another man in your home which is the ultimate in disrespect and total distain for you and your relationship. Do you really need to have a piano fall on your head to understand you should leave this marriage and stop her from destroying your life?

I am not sure how to add that to your sig but someone else may be able to help you out.

So here are your stats
Met 98
Started dating exclusively 03
Married 5/6/06
D-day 9/29/07
Poly 11/30/07
No kids

You still haven’t answered this question.

Also you said people ask is she a psychopath. What people?

Before D-day what was your relationship like? Start with the dating years from 03.
I have to tell you, if she has cheated on you this early in the marriage it may be best if you walk away before children are involved.

You said she knows you wouldn’t hurt her but I don’t know if that is true. She has seen your violent side and may feel you will hit her in the future. Have you been violent with others in the past? EG, getting into fights at bars etc. I would strongly advise you to STOP the violence and get into IC.

What has been going on in your marriage after the poly test back in November?

Has there been any infidelity in your relationship by either of the 2 of you in the past (with the exception of what you have already told us)