Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
#2033959 03/26/08 07:12 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1
4
Junior Member
Junior Member
4 Offline
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1
I have been married for almost 18 years. (It will be 18 in May)
Approximately 5 months ago, my husband pulled up credit reports and saw all the debt that we have. He blames me for ALL of it and yes, it may be more mine than his, but he has never really looked at finances.
He makes alot more money than me but has no retirement savings at work. I on the other hand do and I have been pushing him to ask his boss to offer this to his employees as to lower our taxable income.
Anyway, 5 months ago he said we would work it out and I have done everything he has asked and things have been better. We have also talked about the future together.
He has also been involved in going to the market, paying bills, and everything involved in maintaining a family for the past 5 months. He did open a separate checking account.
Last week, he came home and told me that he doesn't want to do this anymore. He loves me but is not in love with me and can't trust me. He also told me that we owe the IRS money.
Things are also stressful at his job due to the economy.
We are not behind in any of our bills.
I asked to go to counseling and he refuses. He wants to sell the house immediately, pay off the debt and go our separate ways.
He also told me that he wanted me to file for the divorce because he does not have time to take off work. I am not going to file the divorce papers. He has also consulted a realtor and I have not signed anything to sell the house.
We are still living together. I want to make this work.
We have a 17 yr old daughter that lives with us and a 22 year old son, both adore him.
I am willing to fight to the end, seek counseling and go back to church if that is what it takes. We both believe in God but have not attended church in years.
Should I tell my family? Should I seek legal counsel? I need to protect my daughter
Where do I go from here?

4TONY #2033966 03/26/08 07:22 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 744
G
Member
Member
G Offline
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 744
That famous line ALWAYS, ALWAYS calls for a full session of grade A snooping.

4TONY #2034076 03/26/08 11:29 PM
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9
I
Junior Member
Junior Member
I Offline
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 9
It sounds like he is having an affair or something else that has gained his love and affection. To be so sudden?? I would definitly find that out and if he is having an affair, get proof and take him to the cleaners. Invest in a private eye and lawyer w/o him knowing. Don't sign anything until you talk to a lawyer. If I was you I would start going to a church that preaches truth for you and your daughters sake. I wouldn't tell your family until you know more of WHY. I hope it works out for you, but if he don't want to even try, it sounds like he has a made up mind. 18 yrs is a lot to throw away, I can see why you want to fight for it...I don't know what to tell you about that.


Moderated by  Fordude 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 558 guests, and 404 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
duocbinhdong, RonBrown, leorasy, jonathanhans, billy gaits
72,052 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Annulment reconsideration help
by RonBrown - 08/21/25 11:27 PM
Three Times A Charm
by leorasy - 08/20/25 12:00 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,527
Members72,053
Most Online8,273
Aug 17th, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0