It's been a little while so thought I would post an update.

Things are going well, WW decided she wanted to stay and a NC letter went out. So far so good, we are working on meeting each others needs and she's still really depressed but things seem to be headed in the right direction.

Haven't heard from OMW at all, so I don't know what's going on there. FIL/MIL are really supportive and things are very good.

I'm still keeping my guard up, WW and I are spending more and more time together and talk more and more which I think is a good sign. One of her top EN's is Conversation so...

Anyway.. I'll swing in and update every once in a while. Thanks everyone for your support and prayers.

NRO

Ugh.

I am depressed today. I screwed up last night and WW got angry at me. That caused all sorts of drama/crying etc. I am feeling really insecure and unstable and it's just been a hard day to be at work.

The screw-up was minor, but the aftermath was pretty severe. I can tell NC is being maintained.. (at least she is giving a pretty convincing show, and I don't see any evidence) but am still very suspicious and it's starting to wear on me. I feel like she doesn't really want NC, and any chance she gets she really has to work to maintain it.

Some pretty significant things (dates) in OM's life this week that she know about. That may be a part of it. <shrug>

This last week she has been very distant and moody, not spending lots of time alone, but doesn't really want to be in the same room with me. I am still doing Plan A stuff even though supposedly we are starting recovery... it doesn't feel like it though and I am hurting.

They are not seeing each other at work, right?

Hang in there. It sucks to be carrying the load for recovery when you are the one that was betrayed, but that is just how it is.

no, they don't work together any longer. In fact, it would be tough for them to see each other during they day he works about 30 miles away from her and the traffic is really bad usually.

I talked to her about my depression and insecurity a little last night. She seemed to understand, and was actually very open and honest herself about what she has been going through. It really is a giant roller coaster but it's not the kind you want to ride again when you get off.

Thanks for the support.

> She told me that "you were meeting all my needs before this >started" and I just nodded, I don't think she understands that I >couldn't have been.

With someone else to distract her, it's possible that she tolerated some things that would have bothered her previously or overlooked problems that she previously would have noticed. Some waywards can convince themselves that their marriages are just fine and that the affair has no effect on the marriage as long as it's never found out. In reality, they just don't see the problems because they are running away from them, trying to deal by distraction instead of finding a solution.