Hi Dr. Harley,

I am married to my husband for 5 years now. However, he left my son and I, 2 years ago to another country to work without prior discussion/agreement. He did not consider my son and my well being when he left us, because my family is staying in another state.

Now, he came back and claims that he wants to reunite. But he did not resign from his current job which is still based in another country. Since he left till now, i m back at my parents' house with my son. I have forgiven him and wanting to reinforce our marriage life - but seem that he is taking advantage of me because he shows no sign of love since he came back. No calls from him during the day, and even if he is online, he will not even say hi to me.

He normally say that he has work to do, even on weekends, and he cannot come to visit me and my son during weekends. Do you think i can trust him? I was very patient with him but till last week, i blew up when he gave me excuses after I've asked him to enquire more about wives following their husbands to the new country. Initially, he asked me to consider, but i turned him down. Then, when i considered and asked him to find out more, he gave me excuses. Is this because he did not expect me to say 'YES' and his plan overturned now that i want to follow him?
I got so mad with his responses and treatment towards me and my son that I mentioned I wanted to go separate ways now. He demands for my apology and when i did not give him the apology, he says he does not want to have anything to do with me anymore. He still thinks he is right till today and claims that I am not matured.

I am really lost and upset at the same time with his attitude. Till today, he didn't even tell me where he is staying in that country and who are his friends... When he is back, he enrolled himself to personal gym classes to stay fit and thin. Previously he was a bit big and didn't really bother about his appearance. But now he does... do you think he has an affair?

I am really in desperate need of advice.

Please help, Dr Harley.

Thanks, Dove123

Hello Dove123 and welcome to Marriage Builders.

If you want to contact Dr. Harley for a marriage coaching session, please click on the link below and setup a counseling session:

MB Marriage Coaching

Although Dr. Harley does read the forums, he does not typically respond to posts. Your best bet is to call for a phone counseling session.

Good Luck,
Berlin

Hi Berlin,

Thanks for your reply. Can you help to provide advice to my questions? I am in dilemma now... really need advice at the current moment of distress.

Many thx, Dove123