Hey Charlotte!

I changed jobs around the end of February and I've been very busy... I'm still here and will be over here for about another year.

I'm usually in the office until 2030-2100 every night so by the time I get back to my room, I usually just go right to bed... I had to bow out of my night-shift jobs in Idiotvill and on Acey's Vacation thread...

I still think of everyone here and I hope things are getting better for you!

Semper Fi,

RIF

OK May 13th...I will put it on my calendar!!!

I'm glad you finally feel what we've been "seeing". You are a good, funny, strong, witty woman. And he will lose SOOOOOO much, he's just too brain dead to see it.

Now you're talking!!!!

You're da bomb Charlotte!

I would send the email to the OW.

If she already knows, then no harm done, except your voice gets to enter affairland and that always causes a stir .

If she doesn't know, then you get to throw a little bomb into affairland .


In the email, NEVER use his name. Just call him "him", "your boyfriend", or "my STBXH", or something like that. It is just very distancing, annoying, and real when you refuse to use his name.

SB

Hi RIF!

Mo bettah dan gooooood!!

Better every day! I would have never believed it had you told me that when I showed my ugly mug here on this forum in October. LOL!!!

ITA, MicheleG!!

He'll come draggin' his lousy carcass along and all I'm going to do then is direct him to the nearest rehab center!!

Hi SB!!

Thank you for the advice! Mel sent the email and got a reply full of denials that he didn't do it on purpose, etc. etc. ad nauseum. LOL!!

That's a buncha bs because he HAD to have changed it back to MY address in order for this to happen. eBay bears that out. Archives, Baby!!!

She CC'ed Slag and I believe she was right on the money about him trying to hide the stuff because when he wrote back he asked Mel to use one of the addresses ONLY for future correspondence. Unless I tell her to, whatever that means!

So yep, he was outed.

LMAO!!

Well, I hope this is short but you know me!

Mr. Gray FINALLY picked up his packages from my Doberman. On Wednesday.

Dobie's paralegal said: "He had some young girl with him."

I almost fell over laughing!!!! FOTFFLMFAO!!!!!!!

The way she said it made it sound like Slag was 10-years-old or something!!!!! LOL!!

I told her, well, it was probably her, then. You should have seen the look on her face!!! OH...Kodak Moment, Baby!!!

She told me Mr. Gray looks SO OLD. I said, "Yeah, he MADE HIMSELFold.

So here I am, looking younger and fit from all the dancing. WOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO, Baby!! Ya cain't touch dis!!!!!!

This is going to be intewesting. Vewy, VEWY intewesting!!

Especially since I found THE suit and THE perfect shoes for the occasion!!

Forest green...DAHHHHLING little suit.....skirt is cut about 2 inches above the knees but my butt brings it up about 3 inches above the knees. LOL!!!

Yep!! I'll be respectable and ALL business but still able to show off my new dancin' bod!!!

WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Eyeballs will be rolling out of eyesockets and bouncing down the stairs!!!!!!

All I need is my teacher there to promenade up the courthouse steps!! Or in lieu of the Latin Hot Tamale, my Dobie.

I saw LHT last night before I went to belly dancing class. He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Gee, he sure knows how to make a little old lady like me feel good! LMAO!!!!

See, Gray? I didn't curl all up into myself like a dying spider and die and dry out and blow away in the wind!!

I'm ALIVE!!!!! ALIVE!!!!!

("It's alive......ALIVE!!!!!!" shouted Dr. Frankenstein.)

LOL!!

And Gray had to go into "enemy territory", nyeh nyeh neh nyeh nyeh!!! My Doberman's Domain, his lair...his parlor...

MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Of course he denied it.

He's lying to her, lying to you, lying to himself.


His little world will crumble. Sooner or later.


Too bad he might just lose the best thing he ever had.


SB

Dahhling,

You will be so awesome, but at the same time, be humble.

I was just wondering how plan B has been working for you. Seems like you are doing great!!!!

Do you still have love for your WS?

I feel so sorry for him cause he never came to you and let you know that all the issues you two had that were hard for him to handle.

Any hooooo, you will be absolutely wonderful.

You are the best, and WORTHY. This is something my FWS has gotten, 100%, and has worked with me, and been incredibly patient.

Of course, I did not do it the right way, but you have. Lucky you to have discovered MB before I did.

You are OK

Love in Christ,
Miss M

Awww....thank you, schoolbus!! It's sweet of you to say so.

I am so blessed with all of you here and my family and friends, both old and new!

Hi Miss M,

Thank you! Yeah, I'm always humble. I think that's why I felt the way I did after D-day when it felt wrong for me to use our checking account for a while...and that was for buying food for us and paying OUR bills!!

It was strange, I just felt like I didn't have the right to use it because I was no longer the significant other, someone else was.

I got over it!! LOL!!

But yeah, I need to keep the Goddess at the forefront for the hearing. So I re-read posts from you guys, my DIL pumps me up and I keep that at the forefront. It's kinda weird being a girly-girl. LOL! I forgot how much I love shoes and pretty dresses. We never really went anywhere so I didn't bother with such things.

Now I've been sticking to dresses when I go places. And heels. Lucky for me my toes are a lot stronger from dancing so heels aren't so much of a problem. LOL!!

Thank you for saying I am worthy. I need to remember that. I need to memorize Sally Field's speech from when she won an Oscar: "You like me! You really, really like me!!!"

LOL!!

Meanwhile, Gray will be saying the line from the Wayne and Garth movie: "I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy!!"

I think he'll trip out when he sees me. My suit is just right. Heck, I'm still tripping out because that little bit of extra tummy I had is gone. LOL!!!

It feels really good to be in good physical shape again. And it will only get better.

Well, enough jabbering on!!!

Well, I met with my Shiny Attorney yesterday. All the ducks are in a row!!

He received a response from the Dark Side about his motion. It was what you would expect.

I had quite an adventure after we parted ways last night. I went to class and everything was good until I went out to the car to leave and it wouldn't start. Dead battery. Ugh!

Well, I didn't freak out or start crying or anything like that. I started calling everyone and went back inside to look in a phone book for a wrecker that could give me a jump.

So the guy shows up and then he said he'd follow me to an Auto Zone so I could get a new battery. Well, we made it there but they couldn't change it because it's one of those goofy set ups where the battery is underneath stuff instead of on top like normal. Whoever thought of that lovely idea should be demoted.

So the wrecker guy jumps the car again (luckily the battery posts are at least within reach!)

He said he'd follow me to the freeway and I should be okay since there would be no stopping, etc.

We didn't make it and died in the middle of a busy street. So then the guy calls so the wrecker can be brought around to tow me home.

The whole thing only cost me $365 all told. Ha ha.

The wrecker guy asks me out. LOL!!!

I thanked him but told him that I am still married and I am not dating.

He knows my phone number now AND where I live because of having to tow the car here so I'm hoping that he's not going to be a bother about it.

I had to laugh, though. He thought I was 33!!

LMAO!!

I hope I look 33 on Tuesday!! LOL!! I will. I'm not under stress about it at all. I'm betting Gray is, though.

LOL!! I told my Shiny Attorney...well, I asked him what time he would arrive, etc., and I said, "I hope you don't get stuck in any elevators!" He got stuck in one in downtown Houston a few weeks ago.

He said, "What...are you trying to jinx me? I'll be sure and take the stairs!!"

LOL!! I said, "I would NEVER jinx you, but the thought DID cross my mind!!"

He's so funny! LOL!!

So I'm ready except for printing out a few things for Shiny before Tuesday.

I'll probably end up posting here again before then. And emailing Shiny a few times, LOL!

Like I told him, though, I don't expect anything from Gray other than him acting like a total jerk. He is not going to be able to get a rise out of me. I can take anything he will attempt to throw at me!!

So we'll be at the courthouse Tuesday, high noon (well, at 1:30, actually), in full battle armor!! Both shiny and ready to rock-n-roll!!

And I'm sure Gray will show up much the same as last time. I already know he looks really old and Shiny's paralegal was commenting on him again yesterday. Well, he made himself old!! I tried, I really did! He didn't have to fall into that mindset!

And I'm sure Slag will be with him as well. No problemo, Ahnuld! All is well!

Cool about the guy asking you out! Did you say "ask me again next week?"

(JK ya know!)

I'm glad you are doing so well. Now THAT's a great Plan B! Everybody should read your thread.

When you very first see WH, look him straight in the eyes. If you look away, or down, the body language signal sends the wrong thought to him, which would be weakness or a position of one below his. So to make him understand you are his equal, look at him right in the eyes.

If you want him back, look at his eyes, and concentrate on smiling softly without showing any teeth. Not a big smile. Then touch your neck. Keep your hands near your neck or face, or relaxed in front of you, in any manner - but with palms open (try to avoid making fists). That's all you need to remember to do. After that, act natural, which will be slightly nervous. The only message you need to deliver to him is the very first moment you two make eye contact, which is the message he will remember - make that one count.

If you do NOT want him back, show your teeth when you smile, smooth your clothing at the waist, and turn away rather abruptly. He will understand your meaning and you will not need to say anything. Avoid touching your hair or head when he looks at you the first time.

As for slag, I'm not sure how you want to make her feel. So here are ideas for a number of scenarios:

To make her feel less than you - look her body up and down so that she notices you have done it, then look away. No need to do anything further, because by looking away you have effectively dismissed her.

To make her feel completely and totally dismissed, look her direction just one time and make a face that expresses a questioning glance - as if you are saying to yourself "why is she here?" - and shake your head "no", look down, and then away. Be absolutely sure she sees you do this - and then do not look at her again, avoiding any glancing in her direction, any attempts by her to gain your attention, any attempts by anyone to acknowledge her presence. Look PAST her if needed, over her head, beyond her, anything but engaging her if there is cause to look her direction. If she speaks, ignore what she has said, and act as though there has actually been dead air, and respond only to the previous person's words, or open on another topic entirely. (I have done this to a person I work with, and for two years this person has been absolutely driven crazy by me. Only recently have I begun to say hello, and she has no idea now how to respond. This person had asked me to break a law two years ago, and I refused - she attempted to pillory me and demote me, and I stood up and reported her. She was punished, and I stood my ground against her railing against me - I have won, over time. Now, on MY terms, I will speak to her. She has not figured out what has happened to her, but this works like a miracle. She is powerless with me, and her former ability to ramrod and intimidate me is now completely useless.)

If you want to make her feel as though you have "the power" in the relationship between you and WH (and you do NOT want your WH back) - look her straight in the eyes, approach her, and tell her you are glad she is there, but sorry she might have to hear about how her own relationship with WH is likely to end - but maybe you will be able to "pay it forward" and save another woman the grief. Then, walk away proudly.

If you do not want to talk to slag at all, but want to convey a message that you feel sorry for her - just look at her and mouth the words "I'm sorry for you". Most women can read lips across a room quite well. She will easily get your meaning and will calm down.


I'm not sure where you come down on slag, or if you are in the point of your life where you are ready to D your WH. But you sure sound pretty strong, Charlotte, and if I were your WH, I don't think I'd be ready to face you!

You rock - and I can visualize you parading into that courtroom dressed to the nines, watching his eyes pop out of his head. He looks at slag, then at you, and with his much worn-out older mind thinks,

"what did I do???"

And you and your lawyer go to work.


Rock on.


SB

Hi schoolbus, thank you!

I'll have to think about this over the weekend and read it again and again.

I had already decided that I wouldn't be making eye contact with him and directing my answers only to my Shiny Attorney and the judge.

I am not going to be baited into any side Snidely Whiplash remarks from either Gray or Palpitine. My buttons are now moved. Gray can't get to them anymore.

As far as wanting him back? I don't think he would ever give up his drugs for me. And really, I didn't KNOW they were such a problem for him.

I guess I should have had a clue when he told me how many muscle relaxers he took before he married his XW, always making it sound like he did it because he didn't really want to marry her.

He didn't take any on our wedding day so I thought, okay, I guess we'll make it then.

Things were good but then he hurt his back at work and started taking the pills again, but he quit.

Then the last time he started taking them he just never stopped. Which of course got me into the "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" state of mind and I started taking them. But I QUIT. He hasn't apparently.

I guess I should have had a clue, really, because of the story he told me one time about how his Mom smuggled muscle relaxers out of Saudi Arabia for him.

I guess it's a case of: Fool me once, shame on you...fool me twice, shame on me, eh?

Oh, and I was planning on smiling with teeth because my choppers are in such good shape now. Well, I'll think everything over again over the weekend.

Thanks again!

Hi Charlotte,

I'll be cheering for you. Knock 'em dead girlfriend.

Interesting stuff from Schoolbus. Wonder what the significance of teeth vs. no teeth is?? Also, touching the face vs. not. Wow, who would have known???

Anyway, you will be a goddess and will be reigning over the courtroom.

I'm not as good with people body language, but dogs show their teeth when they're showing a warning, fear, or submission.

Dobie,

The teeth have to do with sex.


Think about it.





You might want to show teeth in a different way when you smile, but in this particular case, I would recommend not, for the "peaceful" gesture.

And yeah, you're right - the teeth showing does have to do with anger and fighting. You can smile but mean aggression. Show teeth, not show teeth.

Different situations - sit and think about it! In this case, we were talking seduction . No teeth. But, you COULD smile and be pretty scary with no teeth too.

Body language is pretty useful stuff. The hard part is controlling it when you are talking to someone!!!!!!

SB

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

Now I'm really confused.

But I can smile and flash choppers around if I don't even acknowledge him, right?

LOL!!

Yeah, I was thinking about the animal aspect of the whole thing with the teeth and all after you brought it up the first time.

I think it's just best if I ignore him. I'm in Plan B and I don't have to deal with him directly right now. Shiny will take care of that.

As far as when he drags himself over here to get his stuff? I haven't thought much about what I'm going to do aside from making sure it is all in one area near the door so he doesn't wander around in my home.

This is my sanctuary, at least for the present time, and I don't wish to be invaded by any hostiles.

LOL Schoolbus. I've seen some pretty scary smiles with no teeth. Now that's sexy. yuck!

I don't think we have to worry about Charlotte being submissive or anything. No dribbling Charlotte!