Most states have a residency requirement (they have to live in the county where they are filing for so many months) before one is able to file for a divorce.

As for stopping the divorce proceedings? I did but my circumstances were different. My WH was basically out of commission for awhile because of a terrible car accident. He wasn't going to the courthouse for awhile.

If you did stop the divorce proceedings, it would basically reset the clock from the day he refiles, if he refiles.

It would be most helpful if you called the Harley's. They're the pros at this stuff. Most of us here are here because we've walked through the fire and certainly a lot of us can help and support you, but it's always good to seek the Harley's advice if at all possible.

yes okay, i have a call in to the harley's. thanks

gawd, i am a total plan b drop out. lol i need to start over. are there do overs?

i just feel so defeated. i know i shouldn't. i know hope isn't lost. i'm just so DISGUSTED by him. i tell him to leave because he can't stop hurting me. he says "give me time to get over her. let me work on my issues." issues which have nothing to do with her. all [censored]. what's he do? turn around and run right back to her.

I feel stark raving mad again. someone please talk me through this. i'm so upset. i just want to give up and i know that's not possible. there is no giving up. i just want this to end. i want my life back.

The running back to her will be what ends your love for him. My ex never said he didn't love me. He always said he did, that we were soulmates, blah, blah, blah. He always begged me to give him time, that he didn't know how to end it, but would. That went on for 3 years. In the end, I lost my love for him and divorced him.

Less than 2 weeks later, the affair ended.

Yep, mine still says he loves me. Says the same crap: give me time, let me end it in my own way. yada yada yada.

So I'm guessing it would be unusual for the wayward NOT to immediately run to the OW upon receipt of the plan b letter, right? I'm still really struggling here tonight. I'm so angry at him for being such a slug.

It's my kids I'm fighting for. But they lose either way, you know? I'm so despondent about the way thing are right now. I really just need some positive change here, you know? I guess I have to take that upon myself, because Lord knows he's not doing a damn positive thing in his life.

today is just a no good really bad day and it's all used up. i need a new one.

i took this day really hard. really personally. i know i need not take his actions personally but i do. i'm so sick of living in fear. i shouldn't be fearful of change, of the future... but i am. fearful of what i can't control. fearful that my kids might have to endure if they are put in face to face contact with this whore who has ripped our family apart.

i really thought my saddest days were behind me, but today was it. i feel the loss of control. control i never had.

but i'm sick of being told i'm crazy and wrong and insecure and any number of other things my husband says to bring me down to his level. i don't believe him, but it hurts me that he SAYS them. i just don't want to be hurt anymore.

(((((((((((Pixie)))))))))))))))

You are stronger than you know. Get angry, get firm, get back on your feet and FIGHT! You can do this!! Noone can love your children like you can and chances are he will come back (whether you want him or not). Even if he doesn't...him being in another state will be a big plus for you. You will get custody...he will get very little visitation. Make sure he has to come to you...without the HO.

I know you are scared, I can't imagine all of the things you must be feeling right now. Don't let him hurt you like this. You know that none of the filth he is spewing is true! Time to protect yourself...your children need you. They need a strong, healthy, happy mommy who can stand on her own two feet and say she did her best even in the worst of times. Loving them doesn't cost a thing, Pix! Turn all of your energy and love to them...turn your wayward mess of a husband over to God. You cannot control him...let him go.

Tomorrow is another day...hang on...

sorry for the T/J.....

Lala....you have mail.....n2f

How are you today, Pix...